The Best 46 Jake Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jake jokes. There are some jake newcomer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jake jake from state farm puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jake Jokes and Puns

They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay....

I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*.

Jake's final conversation

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:

"I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to" his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Yet another world cup joke

Heard this from a telephone script today:

Jake! Is it true that you have my girlfriend at place, in your bed right now at this moment!?

Good! Finally I can watch the world cup in peace!

Jake joke, Yet another world cup joke

Thought of this at work today... I was really hungry

There was a cannibal named Jake,

And eating himself, he would partake.

An hour in season,

And finally he reasoned:

He had made a giant *"Me Steak"*!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To push Jake off a cliff.... he really hates Jake.

as told by my 6 year old who hates a kid named Jake.


Spelling practice

It is spelling lesson. The teacher asks the kids to spell different words.
-Emma, can you spell 'dog'?
-D O G
-Correct! Jake, can you spell 'cat'?
-C A T
-Correct! Now, Ahmed, can you spell 'racial discrimination'?

Jake wanted a brother

Jake had been asking his father for a brother the whole morning. His dad got annoyed so he gave little Jake some seeds.

"Just put these by the window, it attracts the storks!"

A few months later the neigbors had a baby delivered. Little Jake went to the newfound father and said:

"Just so you know, that wasn't because of your seed, it was because of my dad's seed!"

Jake joke, Jake wanted a brother

"Have you heard about the new rule in boxing?"

... James asked his friend Jake. Jake hadn't.
- Basically, to reduce the number of blows under the belt that boxers deliver and receive, their outfits will feature a line just above the waist that they must aim for with every hit.
- What? That's ridiculous! Is there something written on it?
- Of course! __This is the punchline__."

A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn

A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland.

When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.

The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. Oh, and by the way, I converted to Christianity."

"Oh, my," said the father. What have I done?"

He decided to go ask his old friend Jacob what to do.

Jake said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."

So they went to see the rabbi.

The rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people?

The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do.

Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven.

The Voice said, "Funny you should ask. I, too, sent my Son to Israel...

I don't know which child you think I don't treat correctly...

Jake, Thomas or the fat ugly one?

I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am.

"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"

You can explore jake talk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jake joyfully dad jokes. There are also jake puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm a law student who's doing an IT subject this semester...

and i've been asked whether I know Jake Weary over four times now! Who the heck is he?

Middle America likes their gay people in movies like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia or Jake Gyllenhaal....

Strong, intelligent articulate and dead within an hour and 20 mins.

Jerrod Carmichael

Some people call me the space cowboy

I wish they'd stop my names Jake

Jake went over to pick up his girlfriend to go on a date.

When he found her naked, he asked why.
"Well, because I don't have any dresses to wear!"
"Sure you do," Jake replied, opening her closet. "Here's a blue one, a red one, a green one- oh, hi Francis- a yellow one..."

One day...

God came to Jake and said," Come forth my child, and thou shall receive eternal youth." But Jake came fifth and won a toaster.

Jake joke, One day...

Why would Jake Gylenhall make the perfect Joker?

Because he literally has Heath Ledger inside of him #brokebackmountain

Open Up, This is police...

Police: Open Up,This is police we need to talk.
Jake : How many of you are out there ?
Police: Two of us
Jake: Talk to each other.

Why didn't Jake Paul dress up for Halloween?

He didn't need a costume to go as a failure.


What's Jake Paul's favorite element?

BROmine

JAKE PAUL HAS A MENTAL ISSUE? WANNA KNOW WHY. WATCH THIS DOCUMENTARY

What is the first thing you should do after Jake Paul dies?

Turn the radio back on

A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar

and got kicked out for being 10.

How do Jake and Logan Paul's parents feel about their kids?

They're appauled.

I like my sex life like I like my Jake Paul videos

A little tease in the beginning and 10 minutes of whole nothing.

My 3 sons placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd in a talent contest judged by Lee Kun-hee

Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung

The incident at the Cemetery.

It was summer. Jake went on a stroll. Soon he arrived at a cemetery. There, he saw a woman, sitting on a grave.

He asked, "Sitting on someone's grave, alone in the cemetery, aren't you scared?".

Woman, " Scared? Of what? It gets hot inside, so I just got out for air."

My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with...

She read hers out: 'One, George Clooney; two, Brad Pitt; three, Justin Timberlake; four, Jake Gyllenhaal; five, Johnny Depp.' I thought, I've got the better deal here: 'One, your sister... That's where our conversation ended..

How do you leave millions of idiots in suspense?

Hang all of Jake pauls fans.

So the Deji vs Jake Paul boxing match is this Saturday

And if in the unlikely event of one of them dies,

Logan Paul will be there to record it

This Saturday, Jake Paul will be duking it out with KSIs brother Deji in the ring

In the event that one of the combatants dies, Logan Paul will be there to record their body.

Jake Paul just called out Chris Brown at the end of the Deji vs Jake fight

Jake you can't do that, you aren't a woman.

Who won the fight between Logan Paul and KSI?

Jake Paul.

Ben has one dog. Jake has two fish. How many fish are there?

Three. Ben's dog was just a red herring

I like my sex to be like a Jake Paul video.

A quick tease at the start then absolutely nothing for 10 minutes

I heard the Georgia Bulldogs QB is going in to insurance when he's done with football.

He will be Jake Fromm, State Farm.

Ethan, Do you think i'm a bad mother?

-My name is Jake.

How many 9 year olds does it take to kill of Jake Paul's youtube career?

none

What would you call a movie staring Jake Paul and a Psychopath?

Dumb and Dahmer

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.

As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me. Is that a dog you got back there? he asked. It sure is, I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then toward the back of the van. Finally he said, What'd he do?

the big universe

two friends Jake & bill laying in the tent camping

bill: Jake what are you looking at

Jake: the stars

bill: and what you get from that

Jake: how big the universe is and how small we are

bill: no the fu\*\*ing tent is gone you moron

Mike and jake went camping...

They put the tent up and went to sleep

Mike woke up and said: hey look at the sky what do you see

Jake: I see the stars

Mike: what does that mean

Jake: the universe is huge and it has all these stars and planets around them

Mike: no the tent is stolen

Here is a joke I heard from watching Jake and Amir.

A woman is boarding a bus with her newborn baby in her hand. The bus driver takes one look at the baby and says" ma'am that is the ugliest baby that I have laid my eyes on"

The woman appalled at the statement as she should be sits next to a man

The man says that the lady should not have to take that crap from anyone so he says

" ma'am you go ahead and tell the driver off, here I'll hold your monkey" .

Bill was lying on his death bed

His faithful wife at his side, comforting him. Bill weakly lifts his head and says "Honey, if this is it for me, I don't want you to be alone. You should marry Jake, across the street"

"I can't even think of anything like that right now," she responds. "But, Jake? I thought you hated him."

"I do."

What do you call a town where no one drinks alcohol?

Jake Paul.

Since its got no bars.

Kevin and Jake had fallen on bad days. Finally, they resorted to theft.

They decided to break into a millionaire's house the following night. Inside the house, Jake accidentally dropped a goblet, which shattered. The noise woke someone up. "Who's there?" the voice demanded. Jake had the presence of mind to reply "meow." After grabbing his fill, Jake slipped out into the darkness, but Kevin was not satisfied. He wanted more. As Kevin searches for more loot, he accidentally knocks a chair over. The voice demanded once again, "Who's there?" "This is another cat," replied Kevin.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jake jen jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jake dan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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