Jail Sentence Jokes
63 jail sentence jokes and hilarious jail sentence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jail sentence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jail Sentence Short Jokes
Short jail sentence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jail sentence humour may include short prison sentence jokes also.
- I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail. But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.
- I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail But apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
- Judge: For your crimes against our citizenry, I hearby sentence you to a decade in prison. Man: That's a long sentence. Can you reduce it?
Judge: Ok. You go to jail 10 years. - My twin brother called me from jail He started with, So you know how we finish each other's sentences?
- People that cut others off while talking should go to jail. But only serve half their sentence.
- Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed? Because they finish each other's sentences
- My incarcerated cousin who has a stutter just died in jail He didn't even get to finish his sentence
- A stuttering friend of mine died in jail the other day.. .....he couldn't finish his sentence.
- Why do female prisoners never stay in jail for longer than 3 weeks? Periods always mark the end of a sentence.
- Why when theyre arrested do women only spend a month in jail? Because a period marks the end of a sentence
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Jail Sentence One Liners
Which jail sentence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jail sentence? I can suggest the ones about life sentences and jail.
- If a man who stutters goes to jail, Does he end up with a longer sentence?
- My buddy who had a stutter died in jail He couldn't finish his sentence
- Did you hear about the pencil that got an injury in jail? It broke mid-sentence.
- My twin brother and I used to finish each other's sentences ... but now he's in jail.
- Why did the grammar teacher go to jail for so long? He had a run-on sentence.
- What do periods and jail time have in common? They both come after sentences.
- Did you hear about the English teacher that went to jail? She got a full sentence.
- Why is Twitter more lenient than Facebook jail? Because they give out shorter sentences
- Jail is a prison term. And that was a prison sentence
- A Banana has been sentenced to 20 years in jail After 10 years, he asks for an appeal
- What's the worst part about losing your virginity? The Jail Sentence
- Why do women always get periods when they're let out of jail? It's the end of a sentence
- Did you hear about the Paragraph that went to jail? I heard he got 6 sentences!
- Musk gets sentenced to 5 years in Jail So he goes to Mars
- A man was sentenced to a year in jail today.. He gets out at midnight.
Comical & Quirky Jail Sentence Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about jail sentence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jail cell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jail sentence pranks.
One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail.
The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail.
The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail.
So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"
A press release:
"Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network p**... and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Why was the woman sent to jail for 12 months, while the man got a year?
Because there needs to be a period at the end of each sentence.
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
A pair of twins have a deal...
They constantly get in trouble with the law for various reasons and are frequently thrown in jail. They don't like staying in jail for too long, so they made a deal: if only one of the twins is arrested and imprisoned, the other twin will sneak in and swap places with them when they have spent half the time served in prison.
It's great to see these twins are so close that they're always finish each other's sentences.
I'm a cop and I got caught choking the chicken in public
I was revoked of my badge and sentenced to three years jail time. The chicken filed a civil rights suit and received 3 million in reparations
Former Ravens cheerleader was sentenced to 48 WEEKENDS in jail for s**... a**....
48 weekends...which is basically saying, "you're grounded."
A Frenchman, a Jew and a p**...
A Frenchman, a Jew and a p**... are each sentenced to thirty years in prison. Each man is given one request that will be honored by the jail warden.
A woman, asks the Frenchman.
A telephone, says the Jew.
A cigarette, says the p**....
Thirty years later the Frenchman walks out with the woman and ten kids.
The Jew strolls out carrying a ten thousand dollar commission he has made during the time.
The p**... walks out and says, Has anyone got a match?
Change sentence to tense?
Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person"
.
Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"
Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail?
She had a period at the end of her sentence.
Teacher and Student
* Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
* Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "I will go to jail"!
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
A woman gets called to court for shoplifting...
The judge asks, "So, you stole something from the grocery store?"
"Yes," the woman says.
"And what did you steal?"
"A can of peaches, Your Honor," the woman replies.
"And how many peaches were in the can?" the judge asks.
"Six," the woman replies.
"Alright. Then I think it is just your sentence be six days in jail," the judge declares.
"...Uh, Your Honor?" the woman's husband says.
"Yes?"
"I think she stole a can of peas as well."
A h**... was released from jail and immediately rearrested.
She had ended her sentence with a proposition.
A women is in court for shoplifting a tin of peaches
The Judge says, you are a persistent offender, I've decided I'm going to make an example of you, I'm going to open a tin of peaches and for every peach I count, you will get a month in jail.
He counts 7 peaches, sentences her to 7 months inside and asks for her to be taken down.
As she walks past the gallery her husband, who is not happy with the sentence, shouts at the Judge "SHE HAD TWO TINS OF PEAS AS WELL"
I wanted to get a job as a high school English teacher after I got out of jail..
But apparently you can't end a sentence with a prep position.
There was a crook who in jail was forced onto a treadmill for his entire time
It was a run-on sentence.
A man had s**... with a p**... without her consent.
He was sentence to 10 years in jail. Would he also be fined for shoplifting?
Tekashi 6ix9ine is in jail.
We're finally going to see a mumble rapper complete a sentence.
A man from England has been jailed for breaking lockdown while standing in for his father at work.
The Pheasant Pluckers defense team said It was one of the hardest sentences they'd come across.
David killed a man by accident...
Yet, they still sentenced him to death. when asked what was his last wish was, he asked for a banana. the jail man said sorry, its not banana season yet . I'll wait said David.
Doctor tells his patient he only has 6 months to live...
Upset, the patient shoots the doctor.
At his trial, the judge sentences him to 30 years to life in jail and asks him if he feels any remorse.
He replies, "no, your honor. The doctor gave me 6 months to live, and you gave me 30 years."
An irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman are all sentenced to jail for 25 years
They are each allowed to bring one thing into prison with them. The irishman takes 25 years worth of cigarettes, the Scotsman takes 25 years worth of whiskey and the englishman takes 25 years worth of chocolate. So the 25 years pass and they are all let out of jail. The englishman comes out really fat because of all the chocolate, the scotsman comes out really drunk and when the irishman walks out he asks the two of them: "have either of you got a lighter"
A lady gets arrested for stealing a can of peaches and goes to court with her husband
Lady, when you stole the can, how many peaches were in it?
Four, answered the lady.
Then I'm gonna sentence you to four days in jail…
The husband then chimed in…
She also stole a can of peas
Carrying a saw
He had stolen a saw, and on his trial he told the judge that he only took it for a joke.
"How far did you carry it?" inquired the Judge.
"Two miles", answered the prisoner.
"Ah! That is carrying a joke too far", said the judge, and the prisoner was sentenced to jail for three months.
Source: 1913 Newspaper
An American gets sentenced to jail in an european prison
The US government had to put in a lot of diplomatic negotiation to get him back into the states.
They mostly had to convince him.