Jail Cell Jokes
64 jail cell jokes and hilarious jail cell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jail cell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Jail Cell Short Jokes
Short jail cell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jail cell humour may include short jail jokes also.
- Andrew Tate says his romanian jail is infested with lice. "Can you imagine sharing a cell with vile parasites?" Say the lice.
- Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape? Because they had no bars on their cells!
- If you ever get thrown into jail Introduce yourself as the mitochondria...
You're the powerhouse of the cell. - If im ever sent to jail, im going to rename myself Mitochondria This is to let them know I am the powerhouse of the cell
- What famous actor is like a jail cell full of white guys? Niggaless Cage
(My girlfriend came up with this today. We're not racist I swear. This just cracked me up.) - If I go to jail I'm changing my name to mitochondria That way I can become the powerhouse of the cell
- If I ever go to jail I want my nickname to be Mitochondria. Because I'm the powerhouse of this cell!
- What happens when a phone goes to jail? It becomes a cell phone!
(Courtesy my 6 year old) - Why didn't the mitochondria worry about being beat up in jail? Because he was the powerhouse of the cell.
- A phone gets thrown into a jail cell His cell mate looks at him and asks "what are you being charged with?"
The phone looks smugly at his cell mate and replies "Battery"
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Jail Cell One Liners
Which jail cell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jail cell? I can suggest the ones about prison and cellmate.
- Why couldn't the plant escape the jail? Because his cell had walls.
- How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail? They exchange cell numbers.
- Age is just a number And a jail cell is just a room
- So a black man walks into a bar... Hes blind and in a jail cell
- My friend called me from jail He was using a cell phone
- What type of phones do they use in jail? Cell phones. Duh!
- A black guy walks into a bar... of his jail cell.
- FIFA walks into a jail cell...
- How do you escape from a jail cell? Seriously, I need to know
- What do you call the guy that can beat up everyone in a jail cell? Mitochondria.
- What do you call a jail cell without five cents inside? A nickleless cage.
- What do you call a jail cell under a prison labor system? Eukaryote.
- What do you call a pregnant black lady? A jail cell
- When i'm in jail You can call me on my cell phone
- I had intimate contact with Jesus... ...in a Mexican jail cell.
Jail Cell Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about jail cell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jail sentence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jail cell pranks.
Sometimes it's tough to tell who your real friends are throughout life.
A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A great friend will be sitting in the jail cell with you saying, "That was fun!"
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?"
Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course."
The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
Speeding motorist
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Russian prisoners
Three guys find themselves in the same cell in a Soviet prison. They ask each other what their crimes were.
The first guy says that he used to report 15 minutes late to work everyday. He was charged with laziness and thrown in jail.
The second guy says that he used to report 15 minutes early to work everyday. He was accused of being a spy and thrown in jail.
They look at the third guy who says, "I used to arrive exactly on time at work every day."
"What sort of a crime is that?" the other two ask.
"I was accused of owning an American watch."
A cannibal, a t**... and a r**... walk into a bar...
in their jail cell.
Two guys are sitting in a jail cell
The first guy says, "What're you here for?"
The second guy say, "Breaking and entering. How about you?"
The first guy draws a deep breath. "Well, there's a story there. I was at a club, having a great time. They played 'The Twist', so I Twisted. Then they played 'Jump', so I Jumped."
"Yeah? So?"
"Then they played 'Come on Eileen' ..."
I'm sitting in a jail cell
and it's killing me that I was arrested for something so s**.... On a dare, I robbed a kitchen supply store. Sure, the expensive knives would have been great, and who doesn't want a food processor?
But all in all, it just wasn't work the whisk.
What kind of phones do people use in jail?
Cell phones.
What's the powerhouse of the jail cell?
The mito-**con**-drian.
What do you call someone who smokes w**... after getting out of jail?
ex-cell-ent
3 spies from England, France and Italy were sent to the USSR.
After a week they were captured and put in jail. The Russians took the English spy, tied and tortured him and after 20 minutes he gave all the info.
Then the Russians took the French spy. They tied and tortured him, and after 20 minutes he too gave all the info.
Then they took the Italian spy and did the same to him, but he didnt give any info. They kept torturing him for 3 hours but with no luck. Eventually they gave up and put him back in the cell.
The 2 other spies asked him How did you do that? They tortured us like crazy! The Italian replied: I wanted to give all my info, but they tied my hands and so I couldn't speak.
So a man walks into a bar
And the warden said "d**... jim, i told you not to put the blind person in the standard jail cell"
A group of Cytologists are arrested...
and are thrown into jail. Since these are privileged folks, they're put into a special jail where they live a single common living space, without separate rooms.
The cytologists start submitting complaints immediately to the state. Because without cells, it doesn't meet living conditions.
Why did the biologist lock himself in jail with an engineer, a physicist and a medical doctor?
Because he wanted to work with STEM Cells
She raised her fist in defiance!
As Amy was being taken into jail the other evening, she raised her fist way up in defiance.
Later that night, her cell mate had her fist way up in Amy.
I'm going to jail for 20 years for being a fake cytologist.
20 years in prison, its a hard cell for me.
Rich man, poor man
Two men are sharing a jail cell. The first asked the other "What are you in here for?"
"Well, I am a poor man, and I wanted to get rich very quickly. How about you?"
"Well, I am a rich man, and I wanted to look poor on my tax returns."
R. Kelly went from being trapped in a closet to being trapped in a courtroom.
Can't wait for the sequel, trapped in a jail cell.
Two flashlights are sitting in a jail cell. One says to the other, what're you in for?
The other replies I'm charged with battery
Did you hear that the star of Con Air was arrested and put in a jail cell filled with pennies, dimes, and quarters?
It was a nickel-less cage.
A forger was arrested and thrown in jail for making counterfeit money
Later, a reporter visited his cell for an interview and asked him Why did you make counterfeit money?
The forger thought for a while before he replied, saying Because making real money is impossible.
Speeder
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But, officer" the man began "I can explain"
"Just be quiet" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
a prisoner escaped jail through a tunnel under his cell
After getting out of tunnel he found himself in a kindergarten playground
"I'm free! I'm free!" he screamed
"So what? I'm four" replied one of the toddler