Jacob Jokes
26 jacob jokes and hilarious jacob puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jacob that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Jacob Short Jokes
Short jacob jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jacob humour may include short miracle jokes also.
- Jacob never needed to set up that complicated plan to steal the blessing from Esau. He could have just sneezed and let Issac say "bless you, Jacob."
- God said to Jacob "Come forth and recieve eternal life" But he came fifth and won a tomato knife.
- I worked in one of those creepy ice cream vans over memorial day weekend, and I must say, they really do work. I raked in the Benjamins. Also got a couple Jacobs and Timothys as well.
- Jacob was at his neighbourhood community swimming pool. Lifeguard: Jacob! Stop Peeing in the pool!
Jacob: But everyone does it!?
Lifeguard: Yes, but not when on the DIVING BOARD. - What would Jacob Kowalski's book about opening a bakery be called? Fantastic Yeasts and Where to Find Them
- Hello. My name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. My friend's name is also John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. For the love of God, please stop shouting at me.
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Jacob One Liners
Which jacob one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jacob? I can suggest the ones about thy and john.
- Mr. Jacob switched into many names until his death... Jacob was his last name.
- What do cigarettes and Jacob Sartorious have in common? They both cause cancer
- People often ask me if I'm team Edward or team Jacob I'm actually team Jack Daniels
- What is Jacob Zuma's favourite office supply? Whiteout
- Jacob the coop chicken worker
- I know a guy with the same name as me. Yep, good ol' John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
- What do you call a musicl.ly star with tuberculosis? Jacob Sanatorius
- What's Jacob Sartorius' Favourite Anime? Bleach.
- John Jacob d**... Schmidt His STD is my STD too!
Hilarious Jacob Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about jacob you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fisher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jacob pranks.
A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn
A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland.
When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. Oh, and by the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oh, my," said the father. What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his old friend Jacob what to do.
Jake said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."
So they went to see the rabbi.
The rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people?
The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do.
Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven.
The Voice said, "Funny you should ask. I, too, sent my Son to Israel...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today is Jacob's birthday,
So his wife decided to surprise him, she took him to a s**...-Club House.
At the club -
DOORMAN: Hey Jacob! How are you?
WIFE: How does he know you?
Jacob: We play Golf together!
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jacob?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
Jacob: He's on the Bowling Team!
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jacob?
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jacob with her, into a taxi!
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jacob boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?
Jacob's f**... will be next Friday at 2pm prompt....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jacob's 5th birthday. He wants to be a doctor as his parents.
5th birthday of Jacob who wants to be a doctor as his parents.
His mom is a 'Ear Nose And t**...' doctor. His father is gynecologist. Guests approach Jacob with gifts asking if he want to be a 'Ear Nose And t**...' doctor as his mom or a gynecologist as his dad. Jacob thought about it a little then said: I want to be gynecologist. Why would you, they asked in astonishment. Cause I have no idea about ears and noses. Jacob replied.
I can't stand it when my friend plays Skyrim.
Personally I play a lawful good approach, trying to stay out of trouble, but when I invite Jacob Yu over he goes full-on thief! Always breaking into homes, stealing things, getting fined and thrown in jail. I ask him on occasion if he'd prefer a different playstyle, but he simply prefers this one. So every time he comes over, I know...
It's a fine day with Yu around.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Jacob Sartorious and h**...?
h**... knows when to kill himself.
