Jackpot Jokes
27 jackpot jokes and hilarious jackpot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jackpot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jackpot Short Jokes
Short jackpot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jackpot humour may include short lotto jokes also.
- A gambler hits the jackpot *What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?* - asks his wife.
"31 black" - If I won the $51 million powerball jackpot, I'd give a quarter to charity. Not sure what I would do with the other $50,999,999.75 though...
- Someone told me Im more likely to die from a lightning strike while on the way to buying a lottery ticket than actually winning the lottery. Either way I hit the jackpot.
- What are the odds that a Latino wins two $500,000 jackpots back to back? A million to Juan.
- Really, nobody in America won last night. The Mega Millions jackpot went up to $63 million.
- To the person who wins the 1.6 billion jackpot tomorrow: You touched me inappropriately 30 years ago!
- [Pickup Line] Well, I was going to play the lottery.... but I already hit the jackpot when I met you.
- Marriage is a lot like playing the slots... At first, you hit the jackpot, but the more money you pour into it, the more you wish you had quit while you were still ahead.
- What's worse than the Holocaust? Winning the jackpot in two separate lotteries at the same time.
- Did you hear about the man who won a lifetime supply of m**... Lotion. He hit the jackpot.
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Jackpot One Liners
Which jackpot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jackpot? I can suggest the ones about lottery win and jack jill.
- The first thing I will get if I win the $1B MegaMillions jackpot tonight A heart attack.
- A gambling addict walks into a bar... Bar... bar... JACKPOT!!
- Whoever wins the Mega Millions Jackpot.... … touched me inappropriately 30 years ago.
- What do you have when you got a bag of w**... and a bottle of Jack Daniel's? Jackpot!
- What do you call a ton of free w**...? Jackpot.
- I've been m**... into cookware It's my jackpot!
- What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot? Cha-c**...!
- A man named Jack just got high off of some w**.... What do you say? Jackpot!
Lottery Jackpot Jokes
Here is a list of funny lottery jackpot jokes and even better lottery jackpot puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A guy won the lottery and bought a lot of w**..., His name was Jack. He became known as Jack-p**....
Delightful Fun Jackpot Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about jackpot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blackjack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jackpot pranks.
A woman hits the jackpot...
A guys wife comes home and says, "Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"
The guy says, "Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"
She says, "I don't care, just get out!"
A couple move to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino
He rushes into his house and yells to his wife,
"Pack up your things. I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot!"
The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The husband responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon."
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and thinks he'**... the jackpot. He's the only man in a bar full of women. He sits down next to two good looking ladies and tries to start a conversation. They look at him and say Don't you realize where you are? We're l**.... He quickly responds Really? What's it like to live in Beirut?
s**...'s Party
I went to this swingers party and tossed my keys into a bowl.
I thought I had hit the jackpot when this hot big titted s**... blonde picked them out.
Never saw my BMW again.
So one time this chick is going down on me,
and I give her the "courtesy tap" because I'm about to blow. She just keeps on going and I'm like, "I hit the jackpot here!" So I finish, and she leans back and picks up a glass off the coffee table and spits in it.
I was like, "Wow, that was *hot*.
She says, "Well, I don't s**...."
I say, "Well, that'd be weird if you told me you were waitin' for it to cool off.."
Stole it from somebody way funnier than me.
A s**... bomber goes to Las Vegas to try his luck at the slot machines....
....he hit the jackpot, and now he's all over the place.
I won the jackpot!!
I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... o**....
