Jacket Jokes

144 jacket jokes and hilarious jacket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jacket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a range of hilarious jacket jokes! From the classic potato to a leather one, from a life jacket to an annoying yellow one and from a jean one to a straight jacket, we have all the funniest gags about jackets. Liven up your conversations with a joke about a puffer jacket, a high vis jacket or even pants, cardigans and trousers in the mix!

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Short Jacket Jokes
Jacket One Liners
Life Jacket Jokes
Leather Jacket Jokes
Straight Jacket Jokes
Denim Jacket Jokes
Jacket Potato Jokes
More Jacket Jokes

Funniest Jacket Short Jokes

Short jacket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jacket humour may include short trench coat jokes also.

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
Give a man a jacket He'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket he won't leave the house.
Give man a jacket and he'll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never go outside again.
Give a man a jacket, and he will be warm for the day. Teach a man to jacket, and he will never leave his house.
My uncle got shot by a stray bullet. By some miracle, he had a bible in his jacket pocket. So he had something to read as he bled to death.
I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.
He said he was outside before it was cool.
Why do men give their jackets to women when its cold? Because it hurts to get blown by chattering teeth
My buddy drowned the other day I placed a life jacket in his coffin
It's what he would've wanted
I threw a ball for my dog.... Extravagant, I know.
But he looks amazing in a dinner jacket.
Give a man a jacket.. and he'll be warm outside. Teach him to jacket and he won't ever leave the house

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Jacket One Liners

Which jacket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jacket? I can suggest the ones about coat and sweater.

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket You can hide but you can't run
How does a coat steal something? They jacket
What do you call a jacket that's on fire? A blazer.
What's the best way to make pants last? Make the jacket first.
How do you steal a coat joke You jacket
Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out
What do you get if you glue sequins to your life jacket? >!Flamboyancy!<
Leather jackets are great for sneaking up on people. They're made of hide.
Hey girl are you a cool autumn breeze Because you make me wanna jacket
Why do jalapeños wear jackets? They're just a little chile.
What does a king call his robe? His reign jacket
Why did the knight wear an octopus jacket? It was his coat of arms
What do you wear when it's raining homophobia? A straight jacket.
To the man in the camo jacket who stole my wheelchair, You can hide and I cannot run.
What's blue and white and can't climb trees? A fridge with a denim jacket on

Life Jacket Jokes

Here is a list of funny life jacket jokes and even better life jacket puns that will make you laugh with friends.

My friend drowned last week My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted.
-Milton Jones
What do you call a gay guy in a life jacket? Flambuoyant.
Give a man a jacket and he'll stay warm all winter Teach a man to jacket and he'll stay warm his whole life
A good friend of mine drowned the other day We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted.
UA new safety briefing Life jacket, seatbelt, mouth guard
Up to 3,000 migrants were rescued in boats fleeing African countries on Monday They were quickly given access to life jackets, emergency blankets, and Pokemon GO.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket ... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
Bob drowned... , so at his f**... we put a life jacket over his grave. It is what he would have wanted.
The kid drowned. All his mates showed up at his f**... with life jackets on. Because it's what he would've wanted.

Leather Jacket Jokes

Here is a list of funny leather jacket jokes and even better leather jacket puns that will make you laugh with friends.

How many Chinese kids does it take to make a leather jacket? Usually about 7, but maybe fewer if you fatten them up first.
"You give me one leather jacket and I invest it and give you two leather jackets" "I don't know man, that sounds like a Fonzie scheme to me."
How do you distress a leather jacket? By telling it punk is dead!
I blew all of my money on leather jackets and juke boxes... I'm worried that I may be caught in a Fonzey scheme.
Why is leather jacket good for camouflage? Because it is made of hide.
How many child laborers does it take to make a leather jacket? Just one of you don't mind short sleeves.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A: Married.
What wears a leather jacket, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? An elephant wearing a leather jacket!
A friend asked me for a cowboy hat, a leather jacket and a whip..... He wanted to be Indiana Jones.
What black & White and cool as f**k? A fridge with a leather jacket on.

Jacket joke, What black & White and cool as f**k?

Straight Jacket Jokes

Here is a list of funny straight jacket jokes and even better straight jacket puns that will make you laugh with friends.

My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person?
Make the trans' vest tight.
What do you think of wearing a straight jacket? I think I could pull it off
Why did the insane asylum stop accepting homosexual patients? They only had straight jackets.
I asked for soundproof walls my mom also got me a straight jacket
Why was a social justice warrior being held in solitude confinement in a mental institute? She attacked the guards when they tried to force her into a straight white male jacket.
What do you call a runner in a straight jacket? Insane Bolt
Some people think LGBT is a mental illness. So, it makes sense that they're called straight jackets.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
how do you help gay psychopaths? With a straight jacket .

Denim Jacket Jokes

Here is a list of funny denim jacket jokes and even better denim jacket puns that will make you laugh with friends.

"What's The Pink Panther's favourite type of jacket?" "No idea."
"Denim."
"Denim?"
"Denim denim denim denim denim..."
what's blue and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a fridge with a denim jacket on
What's white blue and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A refrigerator in a denim jacket
What's blue and white and swings through the jungle? A fridge in a denim jacket
What is white and blue and swings through the jungle? a refrigerator wearing a denim jacket
Whats rectangular, white and blue?.... A fridge with a denim jacket on.
HA!
What's blue and white and sits up a tree? A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Jacket Potato Jokes

Here is a list of funny jacket potato jokes and even better jacket potato puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What do call a potato that knows martial arts? Jacket Chan

Jacket joke, What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Charming Humor Jacket Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about jacket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jersey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jacket pranks.

In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket...

As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, still she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this, the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."

A doctor reaches in his jacket for a pen....

and pulls out a thermometer. "Oh great, some a**...'s got my pen!"

I lost my coat...

I hope somebody didn't jacket.

Heard this from my History Professor.

Ronald Reagan had such high regard for the office of President that his jacket was never off.
Bill Clinton had such high regard for the office of President that his pants were never on.

The secret to wealth

A young man once asked a rich older man how he made all his money.
The dapper old fellow smoothed his tailored jacket and said, "Well young man, it was 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression. I was down to the last penny I had."
"I took that penny and I went and bought an apple. I spent the whole day shining that apple until it gleamed like the sun, then I took that apple to the market and sold it for two cents."
"The next day I took those two cents and bought two apples. I shined those apples all day and night until they were perfect, then I sold them at the market for four cents the next day. I worked at it like this for a month, sometimes selling, sometimes not, and at the end of the month I'd amassed myself a fortune. Nearly eight whole dollars. I'd never been so proud of myself in my life."
"Then my wife's father died and left us 2 million bucks."

Why did the chihuahua put on a jacket?

Because it was a chili dog!

A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit.

He's wearing a paper hat, a paper shirt, vest, jacket and pants. He even had a paper holster for his six-shooter.
He wasn't in town 10 minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

I was looking into buying an invisible jacket.

So I tried one on in the shop and it fit me great, but after checking how I looked in the mirror I decided against it.
I just couldn't *really* see myself wearing it.

My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.

Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.

Two woman in an argument at a clothes store.

**1st Woman:** You should return that leather jacket you just bought.
**2nd Woman:** Why would I do that?
**1st Woman:** because it looked better on the first cow.

A Mothers Secret

A mom was teaching her 4 year old son to zip up his jacket.
The secret, she explained, is getting the little straight piece all the way into the little slot before you pull up the zipper.
Her son looked up at her and said, Mom, why does that have to be a secret?

A kid got in trouble for m**... in the coat room

All he did was jacket

A boat in the Atlantic ocean was starting to sink...

... The captain gathered everyone and said "OK everyone, it looks like we are going down, does anyone know how to pray?" One of the ships crew members sitting in the back raises his hand and Hays "yes captain I know how to pray." The captain responds "OK well you start praying and everyone else put a life jacket on, we're short one jacket."
Another joke from my 95 year old grandpa.

A few days ago i saw an amazing magician...

When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others.

A woman walks into a police station and says "Help, Ive bee r**... by a consultant"

The policeman on duty says "Consultant? thats pretty specific. Do you know him?"
The woman replies "No I dont know him"
The policeman asks "Then how do you know he's a consultant?"
The woman answers "Because he kept his jacket on and made me do all the work"

Give a man a jacket

Give a man a jacket and he can leave the house during winter.
Teach a man to jack it and he'll never leave the house.

Marriage joke

My husband and I couldn't decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.
If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, I said, what would you get?
A bulletproof one, he said. I'm married.

A joke from my three year old.

My wife removes the jacket from a book of my son's.
My three year old son yells out, "Don't take the jacket off."
My wife asks, "Why not?"
My son says, "Because the book will get cold."

Why is it prestigious to wear a c**...?

It's a members-only jacket.

Give a man a jacket...

And he'll be able to leave the house.
Teach a man to jacket, and he'll never leave the house.

If you're leaving the U.S. Embassy in Santiago, make sure to put on a jacket...

It's Chile outside.

Going through customs at a US airport

Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare today?
Me: *starts sweating* ummmmm no. *trips and falls. Hundred of Kinder eggs spill from my pockets, jacket and bag*
Customs agent: GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!
Me: But, I am -
*armed guards swarm around and pin me down*
Armed guards: WHAT'S IN THE EGGS!!!
Me: I don't know, it's a surprise!!
(Sorry if the formatting s**.... On mobile)

Just got back from a friends f**... who drowned last week.

I got a lot of a**... from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"

A doctor rushes out of the hospital to sign a contract at his lawyer's office. Reaching into his jacket pocket he pulls out a r**... thermometer...

"d**..., some a**...'s got my pen again!"

How do you peel a banana?

1. Get banana sunburned. Banana will soon begin to peel.
2. Scare banana. Grab skin when it jumps out of it.
3. Hypnotize banana. Tell banana it is a snake. Banana will shed skin.
4. Call banana yellow. Banana will want to fight. Will remove jacket.

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 200 hours of community service?"

With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.

Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?

Give a man a jacket, and he'll be warm for all winter

Teach a man to jack it, and he won't need to go outside!

The power of prayer

A ship is sinking, the captain turns to the people on the boat and asks, "does anyone here know how to pray?"
The priest on boards says he can pray.
Captain: "Ok priest, you pray. Everyone else will wear a life jacket. We are short of one."

A pirate captain is about to pillage a Royal Navy ship.

He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. Then, as soon as they are about to attack, a lookout yells, "Captain, we just realized that there are in fact 20 ships!" The captain suddenly goes very pale and calls, "Bring me my brown pants."

A developer finds a talking frog.

It says "Kiss me and I will become a princess". But he just puts she into his jacket and keeps on working.
During Lunch the frog jumps out of his jacket and says again "Kiss me and I will become your princess". But he just puts her back again.
In the evening he shows her to a friend and she asks "Why won't you kiss me?" - "I don't have time for a girlfriend but a talking frog is funny."

I just got home from a close friends f**..., he drowned last week......!

I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".

What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames?

A blazer

The super bowl is this weekend, don't forget to bring a jacket because it's supposed to get cold.

Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.

A man walks into a bar in New Orleans

He sits down next to a man in a jacket. Both of them are watching a preview of the upcoming nfc championship. They both start debating over who will win, and the debate turns into an argument. The man says 100 bucks my saints win! Your on replied the man as he unzipped his coat to reveal black and white stripes. Good luck I got a game to ref replies the ref.

A t**... is teaching a class

He carefully puts on a jacket loaded with explosives and, turning to his pupils, says:
"Now watch carefully, because I'm only going to do this once!"

To the man in a wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can't run.

What is the best way to steal a coat?

Jacket

Did you know that Spider-Man has a winter jacket made out of Mediterranean flatbread?

It's a pita parka.

How do you make suit pants last?

Make the jacket first.

My buddy takes his date's jacket to keep warm if it's cold...

And they say shivering is dead.

A French and British vampire walk into a bar

The French orders for a glass of champagne then mixes blood into it.
The British orders a cup of hot water, which makes the French surprised:
\- No tea?
\- Quite the contrary, my friend - The British replies - then pulls out a used t**... from his jacket

A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit. Paper hat, paper jacket, paper pants and chaps, everything he wore was made of paper.

He wasn't in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

It's cold outside.

Give a man a jacket and he will stay warm for a day.
Teach a man to jacket and he will never leave his house.

What do you call a French jacket?

Jacques-et

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas.

I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee

He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."

Bought a new jacket the other day and it burst into flames.

Well, it was a blazer.

To whoever stole my camouflage jacket