Jack Daniels Jokes
76 jack daniels jokes and hilarious jack daniels puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jack daniels that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jack Daniels Short Jokes
Short jack daniels jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jack daniels humour may include short jack and coke jokes also.
- What's the difference between Jack Daniels and John Wayne? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
- Our family surname is Daniels So rather hilariously we named our first child Jack.
She hates it. - Three old women sneak some Jack Daniels into a baseball game, taking shots after each half inning. What inning is it now? It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.
- Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam walk into a bar What is this, said the bartender, Alcoholics Eponymous?
- A guy walks into a bar.. ..and orders a Jack Daniels with coke. The bartender asks if Pepsi is okay. "Whatever, sure" says the guy. So, the bartender mixes a Pepsi with coke for him.
- What's the difference between Jack Daniels and Davy Crockett? Jack Daniels is still killing Natives.
- Whats the diffrence between General Custer and Jack Daniel's? Jack Daniel's is still killing indians.
- Whats the difference between amy winehouse and Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke.
- I made a drink called Hit The Road Jack It's Jack Daniels mixed with methanol.
(Blind jokes are the best kind) - The best thing about tea is you can drink it at work The best thing about Jack Daniels is it looks like tea!
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Jack Daniels One Liners
Which jack daniels one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jack daniels? I can suggest the ones about jacks and jack jill.
- Jack Daniels couldn't be here today, But he's here in spirit.
- What do you call it when you steal a bottle of Jack Daniel's? A Whiskey Move
- Who's killed more natives than General Custer? Jack Daniels
- I invented a new drink. Ginger beer and Jack Daniel's. I call it the Stormy Daniel's.
- If you enjoy Jack Daniels... Then try his sister Stormy!
- People often ask me if I'm team Edward or team Jacob I'm actually team Jack Daniels
- There Exists No Ugly Women. New Jack Daniels 700ml ad
- Why is jack left alone? Because Daniels is busy.
Unsubscribe? - Jack Daniels, George Dickel, Johnnie Walker and Jim Beam are at a bar. They get drunk.
- What is Mister Miyagi's favorite drink? Jack Daniels-san
- What do you have when you got a bag of w**... and a bottle of Jack Daniel's? Jackpot!
- My girlfriend gave me the nickname Jack Daniels Because she says I'm a hard l**...!
- I have a lesbian friend who I call Jack Daniels. Cause she's a hard l**....
Fun-Filled Jack Daniels Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about jack daniels you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jack and jill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jack daniels pranks.
Three blondes had boyfriends all named John and they kept getting confused.
They decided to name them after sodas. The first girl said, "I'll call mine 7 Up, because he's seven inches and he's always up." The next girl said, "I'll call mine Mountain Dew, because he mounts me and knows exactly what to do." The last girl goes, "I'll call mine Jack Daniels." The other girls yelled at her and said, "That's not a soda! That's a hard l**...!"
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
..
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
A guy goes fishing one morning but after a short time runs out of worms.
Just then he sees a cotton-mouth snake in the water with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite with the frog in his mouth, the guy grabs him right behind the head, takes the frog, and puts the snake in his bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, the guy snatches his bottle of Jack Daniels and pours a little whiskey in the snake's mouth. His eyes roll back and he goes limp. The guy releases him into the lake without incident and carries on fishing using the frog.
A little later, he feels nudge on his foot. It was that snake, with two more frogs.
Blonds and Blind Cowboys
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head
and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
An Unlikely Friendship
John is driving north on a highway after a sporting event when he comes to a single lane bridge. He checks the road and begins to cross the river, only to be hit head-on from the oncoming direction. The two cars are completely mangled, but the two drivers are completely fine. John notices that the man who hit him is wearing a jersey from a rival sports team.
The man who caused the accident said, "Hey man, sorry about your car... And even though we represent different teams, I think this is a sign that we should put our differences beside us."
John replies, "I think you're right." He goes and checks his trunk and remarkably pulls out an undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels. "Amazing! How about a drink to celebrate our new friendship?"
The driver agrees and takes a few swigs of the whiskey. He passes the bottle back to John who promptly throws the bottle over the bridge and into the river below. "Oi! What did you do that for? Weren't you going to have some for yourself? What about our new friendship?"
John smirks. "Tell that to the cops when they show up."
Blondes and Blind Cowboy
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
* The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
* The bouncer is a blonde girl.
* I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
* The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
* The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head
and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy...
One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."
The other two ladies agree.
The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"
The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives.
Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week."
Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives.
The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys were good, but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."
The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda pop... that's a hard liquor!"
The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"
I'm seeing a lot of blonde jokes, so here's mine.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were talking about their boyfriends and decided they wanted to give them nicknames.
The brunette says, "I'll name mine 7-Up because he is 7 inches and always up for me."
The redhead says, "I'll name mine Mountain Dew because he always wants to mount and dew me."
The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "I'll name my boyfriend Jack Daniels. He's a hard liquor."
A traditional Indian woman walks into a bar for the first time...
She sits down between two men.
She hears the first man says to the bartender "Johnny Walker, single."
Then second man says to the bartender "Jack Daniels, single."
The bartender turns to the Indian woman... She says "Pushpaben Patel, Married."
A man walks into a bar and puts a shoebox down on the table...
He says, "I'll have a beer and a shot of Jack Daniels for my friend in the box."
The bartender looks down and sees a small man playing the piano. He brings the drinks and then asks, "Where'd you get this little guy?"
The man at the bar replies, "I was walking on the beach when I found a bottle lying in the sand. I was dusting it off when a genie came out and this was my first wish."
The bartender is thinking that maybe he can trade something for this guys wish. Now, this guy is feeling pretty generous so he agrees to giving up his second wish in exchange for free food and drinks. The bartender grabs the bottle, rubs it, and exclaims, "I wish for a million bucks!"
Then, the door slams open and a million white ducks come marching into the bar.
The man at the bar says, "I think the genie is hard of hearing."
"What makes you say that?" asks the bartender.
"You think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"
Better Boyfriend （18+Dirty jokes）
Two girls were comparing boyfriends.
"Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!"
"Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard l**... there is!"
A blonde visited a bar...
A blonde visited a bar for the first time, sat at the table in front of the bartender.
A guy at her left ordered, "Jack Daniels, Single"
A guy at her right ordered, "Johnny Walker, Single "
The bartender looked at the lady, said ,"and what about you?"
Lady replied,"Amber Smith, Married"
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times............'
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler."
"Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters quietly "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls silent.
In a deep, husky voice, the woman to his left says,
"Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you can't see, that you should know five things...
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a billy club.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman next to me is a blonde professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde professional wrestler.
Now think about it, cowboy... You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The cowboy puts on a disappointed face, shakes his head and mutters,
"Nah... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Three women sitting in a bar having a drink.
Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie. One day they decide to name their boyfriends after softdrinks to tell the difference between them.
The first one says "I'll name mine 7-up because he's seven inches and always up."
The second one says "I'll name mine MOUNTAIN DEW because he likes to mount and do me."
And the third one says "I'll name mine Jack Daniels." The others say "Hey! That's not a softdrink that's a hard l**...!". She says "That's My Georgie!!"
Three old ladies are discussing their husbands while having tea.
Three old ladies are out for tea and discussing their husbands performance in the sack.
They decide to have some fun and describe their husbands as soda pops.
The first lady says "my husband is probably Mountain Dew. Because when im ready to mount. Hes ready to do"
The second lady says, still giggling, "My hudband is 7 up, cause when its seven hes always up"
The third lady says "My husband is defenitely Jack Daniels"
The other two ladies reply "But thats not a soda! Thats a hard liquor!"
The third lady shouts "Thats my Leroy!"
A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar
A doctor on his morning walk noticed an old lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar
So he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. '"Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."
'"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
The night before the wedding
The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.
"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.
"7-Up, because he's got seven inches and he can keep it up. What about you?"
"Mountain Dew. He knows how to mount and do me. And what about the future Mrs. Johnson? What kind of soda is Matt?"
"Jack Daniels," said the bride proudly.
"But that's not a soda! Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!" protested her friends.
The bride looked at them and said, "Girls, why do you think I'm marrying him?"
A lady from India visited the USA for the first time and visited a bar...
She sat in front of the bartender with two guys sitting on either side of her.
"Jack Daniels, single." Ordered the one on her left.
Johnny Walker, single." Ordered the one on the right.
The bartender then looked at the lady and asked, "And you, ma'am?"
"Sonia Patel, married." She replied.
Three women decide to compare their husbands to soft drinks.
Three women are out to brunch, and they're talking about who has the best husband. One of them decides they should compare their respective husbands to soft drinks (sodas).
First woman: "My husband is like 7UP, because he's 7 inches and he's always up."
Second woman: "Well my husband is like Mountain Dew, because when he's mountin' me, he knows what to do."
Third woman: "Well my husband is like Jack Daniels."
First woman: "That's not a soft drink!"
Third woman: "I know, but he's a hard l**...."
Why do black people prefer Hennessey to Jack Daniel's?
Hennessey isn't made in Lynchburg, Tennessee.
The morgue needed someone to identify the exact weapon used to kill Native Americans...
Apparently Jack Daniels still does.
A man is going fishing one day.
After awhile, he ran out of worms to use as bait. He noticed a cottonmouth with a frog hanging out of its mouth. Knowing frogs make good bait, he caught the snake. He picked it up by the back of the head since it couldn't bite him with a frog in its mouth. The man removes the frog and thinks "how do I let the snake go without being bit?". So, with his free hand, he reaches into his box and pulls out his bottle of Jack Daniels and pours some in the snake's mouth. The snake goes limp and the man is able to release it without getting bit. Hours later, he's done fishing and packing stuff up when he feels something on his foot. He looks down and it's the same snake, with two more frogs.
A man is going fishing one day...
After awhile, he runs out of bait. He sees a snake nearby with a frog in its mouth. Knowing that a frog will make good bait, he catches the snake. He removes the frog, and thinks to himself "How do I let the snake go without getting bit?". He ponders for a minute, then, with his free hand, reaches for his bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. He pops it open and pours some in the snake's mouth. The snake goes limp and the man tosses it away. Later, as he is getting ready to go home, he feels something on his foot. The man looks down to see the snake next to the whiskey, this time with two frogs in its mouth.
What's the difference between the g**... and Jack Daniels?
I'll actually look for the Jack Daniels.
My Last 3 Boyfriends gossip
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.
One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.
The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do.
The third I called Jack Daniels. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. Isn't Jack Daniels hard liquor?"
The girl smiles and says "Yes it is"
My wife says I have a problem with alcohol a**....
I politely told her I don't. I managed to stay calm and kiss her goodnight even though I was getting so angry.
When she went to bed I punched my bottle of Jack Daniels.
If my man were a soda...
Three married black women are talking about their love lives with their husbands. They decide to assign each of their men a soda that represents them. The first lady says, "I'd call my man seven-up. 'Cause he's got seven inches and they're always up, up, up."
The second says, "I'd call my man Mountain Dew. 'Cause he likes to go to the mountains and do, do, do."
The third says, "I'd call my man Jack Daniels."
The other two reply, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda. That's a hard liquor."
"THAT'S MY MAN!!!"
I went to a liquor store yesterday on my bicycle.
I bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. I tied it to my bicycle carrier.
I was about to leave. Then I realised that if I fell off the bike on the way home, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the JD before I rode back.
Finally it turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
An indian lady visited a bar for the first time
She was nervous but sat on one tall stool in front of the bartender.
The guy sitting on her left said: "Jack Daniels, Single"
The guy on her right side ordered: "Johnny Walker, Single"
Then the bartender looked at the lady & said: And you..?
The lady replied: "Parmjeet kaur, Married.
I like my women like I like my whisky
Twelve years old and named Jack Daniel's for some reason
A doctor, a nurse, and a mom walk into a bar
The doctor sits first and orders a shot of Jack Daniels
The nurse sits second and orders a shot of Jose Cuervo
The mom sits last and says I'm sorry, I don't do shots. then falls to the floor dead from measles.
I was fishing when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to s**... a frog and knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket...
Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit, so I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp.
I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
It was that snake, with two more frogs...
That's my Charlie!
Three women are sitting around talking about their husbands s**... life when one posed the question, "If you could name your husbands junk after any soft drink what would it be?"
The first lady says, "Well I'd name my husbands Mountain Dew, because it's as big as a mountain and all he wants to do!"
The second lady quips, "I'd name my husbands 7-Up, because it's 7 inches and it's always up!"
The third lady responds, "Well I'd name my husbands Jack Daniel's!"
The other ladies laughed and said, "That's not a soft drink! It's a hard liquor".
The third ladies replies, "That's my Charlie!"
A drunk orders a shot of Wild Turkey....
Sorry sir, we don't have Wild Turkey only a House bourbon? What can I get you?
I'll have a shot of Wild Turkey
I'm so sorry sir, we just ran out, how about a Jack Daniels
I'll have a shot of Wild Turkey
Okay sir, if you can spell Wild Turkey, I'll get you a shot
W-I-L-D T-U-R-K-E-Y, Wild Turkey
Sir you forgot the F
There's no F in Wild Turkey
That's what I've been trying to tell you,
A man walks into a bar sporting the worst haircut you've ever seen...
"Give me two shots of Jack Daniels," he says to the bartender. "One for me, and one for you."
"You know I don't drink on the job," the bartender says, pouring the man a shot.
Downing the drink, the man replies, "And that's why I like you better than my barber."
It was h**... Choo's first time in America, and he was excited to visit an American bar .
He quickly locates one and finds a seat by the counter, where two other men are already seated.
The surly bartender tilts his head at the first man, who says Jack Daniels, single.
The bartender nods and looks towards the second man, who says, Johnny Walker, single.
The bartender then turns to h**... Choo...
h**... Choo, married!
A wife is complaining about her husband spending all his time at the local tavern, so one night he takes her along with him.
"What'll ya have?" he asks.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you, I suppose," she replies.
So the husband orders a couple of Jack Daniels and gulps his down in one go.
His wife watches him, then takes a sip from her glass and immediately spits it out.
"Yuck! It tastes awful, worse than awful!" she splutters. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go!" cries the husband. "And you think I am out enjoying myself every night!"
A lad named Jack confronts his alcoholic father
You s**... old man, our last name is Inoff you did this on purpose!
His father replies Nah I named you after Jack Daniels. But that's pretty d**... funny too!
