Jack And Jill Jokes

45 jack and jill jokes and hilarious jack and jill puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jack and jill that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Jack And Jill Short Jokes

Short jack and jill jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jack and jill humour may include short jack jill jokes also.

  1. Jack and Jill Jack and Jill went up the hill;
    each one had a quarter
    When they came down
    Jill had both,
    You think they went for water?
  2. Why are programmers so good at poetry? Well, all words rhyme in binary.
  3. My Favorite Nursery Rhyme. Jack and Jill went up the hill,
    both with a buck and a quarter,
    Jill came down with 2.50,
    and they didn't go up for water.
  4. Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.... Jill came down with two fifty.
  5. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water... ...Jill came down with half a crown but not for fetching water.
  6. Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water... ...however if you sponsor Jack and Jill for just $2 a month, we can build a well with clean water right in their village.
  7. Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water,
    Who knows what they did up there,
    They came down with a daughter.
  8. Jack & Jill Went In To Town..... To buy some chips and sweeties.
    Now Jack can't keep his heart rate down
    and Jill has Diabetes
  9. "Jill look out the window..." "...there's a horse in our yard."
    "No Jack, it's not a horse, it's a cow!"
    "I said look out the window, not in the mirror!"
  10. Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?"
    Jill: "Right there, ma'am.
    Teacher: "Correct. Now, Jack, tell me who found America."
    Jack: "Jill."

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Jack And Jill One Liners

Which jack and jill one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jack and jill? I can suggest the ones about jacks and jack and rose.

  1. Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone? because there was no jack.
  2. Whats the difference between Jack and Jill? I cant Jill off onto your face.
  3. Jack and Jill went up the hill.... And Jill came back with an IPhone 7
  4. How do all Jack and Jill satires end up? Downhill.
  5. What do you call an auxiliary jack with female connectors? an auxiliary jill
  6. Jack and Jill went up the hill with a dollar and a quarter Jill came down with $2.50
  7. How come guys j**... and girls jill off? Because you're Jack'n Jill

Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill Jokes

Here is a list of funny jack and jill went up the hill jokes and even better jack and jill went up the hill puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Jack and Jill went up a hill Jack and Jill went up a hill;
    to have a bit of fun.
    But s**... Jill forgot the pill;
    and now they have a son.
  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water... ...but what a joke, the c**... broke, and now they have a daughter.
  • Jack and Jill Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To smoke some m**...
    Jack got high
    Unzipped his fly
    And they had a little fun
    Jill forgot to take the pill
    And now they have a son

Laughable Jack And Jill Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about jack and jill you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jumping jack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jack and jill pranks.

The bro code

Jill didn't come home one night. When she got home the next morning, she said she'd slept over at a girl friend's house.
Jack called ten of her best friends, but none of them said she had been there.
A week later, Jack doesn't come home. The next day, he says he spent the night at a buddy's house after getting too drunk.
Jill called his ten best friends. 8 said he'd been there the night before, while 2 said he was still there.

The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…

Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or j**...."
Jill replies, "You'll have to j**... then, 'cause I've got a headache."

Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or j**...".
"j**...!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some m**....

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Use contraceptives kids.

My Aunt Jill was an English teacher who taught me so many important lessons like....

Always use very precise language or you could be misunderstood.
I remember it vividly because we were at their farm and I was helping my uncle j**... a horse as she was telling me that.

Another Jack and Jill joke

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some m**....
Jack got high, pulled down his fly and asked Jill "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said "Yes" Took off her dress and they had a little fun,
But s**... Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

No one digs a well at the top of a hill.

What the h**... were Jack and Jill really doing up there?

Jack and Jill...

Jack and Jill worked at the mill before the work did slack off.
The miller cried, "I can't decide whether to lay Jill or j**...."

The appointment.

Jack wakes up one morning next to Jill. He's feeling amorous and starts caressing her and tugging at her pyjama bottoms. She groans and says, "oh... not now, honey. You know I have a gynecologist appointment this morning...." Jack rolls over resignedly. After a few minutes he turns back toward her and says, "umm... you don't have a dentist appointment, do you?"

Jack came home in great excitement and said to his wife:

"Jill, love, you will never believe it, dear, but I have discovered an entirely new position for l**...".
"Really," she said, interested at once. "What is it?"
"Back to back," Jack replies
"But that is crazy. We cannot do anything back to back."
"Yes we can," he says. "I have persuaded another couple to help out!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some m**.

Jack and Jill slipped down the hill and asked Jill if she wanna.
She said "Yes" and dropped her dress and had a little fun.
Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.

I often wonder why we plug our earbuds into a "headphone jack"...

...when it should have been called a "headphone jill".

A manager has two great employees...

A manager has two great employees, Jack and Jill. Due to budget constraints, he knows he has to fire one of them. He decides to meet with each employee, be upfront with them, and then make his sad decision. Both of them are outside of his office, and he asks Jill to step inside. Less than 15 seconds later, Jill storms out of there and slams the door behind her.
Jack walks in and says "I guess you decided to let her go?"
Boss man has a bewildered look on his face and says "I never even got the chance to! All I said was 'I'm trying to decide whether to lay you or j**....'"

Four women were chatting in the locker room (n**...)

When one of them mentioned the fact that while there were numerous terms for male m**...: jerking off, w**..., spanking the monkey, and so on... there weren't any common terms for female m**....
"I've always called it 'jilling off'," said one of the women.
"But that's just a feminization of 'jacking off,'" said the second.
"You're right," said another. "We don't seem to have any slang terms of our own for it."
The fourth woman snorted. "After fourteen years of marriage, there's only one thing I call it."
"What's that?"
"Finishing the job."

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?"

Women should be first.

jokes about jack and jill