Ivy Jokes
38 ivy jokes and hilarious ivy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ivy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a good laugh! This article about ivy jokes has it all: from funny puns about poison ivy to lightbulb jokes about Ivy League. No matter if you're a transginger, meerkat, or robber, you'll find something funny here!
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Funniest Ivy Short Jokes
Short ivy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ivy humour may include short poison ivy jokes also.
- Deaf people aren't known to be very rational They have trouble making sound decisions.
- We wanted to bury our cat Ivy under our ivy but it was too thick to get through so we renamed it dumpster instead.
- There was an Irish botanist that was trying to cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy... He was hoping for a rash of good luck.
- Went hiking and got a little poison ivy on myself. When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication I had to make a rash decision.
- What do you get when Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, and Roosevelt fall in poison ivy? Mt. Rashmore.
- Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education? A Poison Ivy League College.
- Ivy Cube Question Today I got an Ivy Cube, and found out that many people faced the same problem as me. We can solve all but one corner will never orient correctly.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
- Back in school my friends almost convinced me to smoke poison ivy. Luckily, I didn't do anything rash.
- My doc prescibed me an RX for my poison ivy and oak allergies. I got 99 problems but an itch aint one.
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Ivy One Liners
Which ivy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ivy? I can suggest the ones about guard and college.
- How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy? Ointment.
- What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover? A rash of good luck
- What's in Poison Ivy's underpants? Tulips.
- What do Japanese call a rabbit with poison ivy? Ichiban
- On a whim, I decided to roll around in some poison ivy. It was a real rash decision.
- Where do evil scientists get their degree? The Poison Ivy League.
- I went to an ivy league school When I got there they told me deliveries in the rear.
- What do you call a plant with an STD? Poison H-Ivy
- Worst joke ever: why does Poison Ivy keep losing to batman? She is always thinking rash.
- Why do you cut an ivy? You do it for the vine
- Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
- What happens when Batman gets dehydrated? He gets hooked up to an I-VY
- I've learned I should never date a girl named Ivy.. She would be much too clingy.
- Why doesn't Batman date Poison Ivy? She's a little too bushy for him.
- Beyonce is having twins! I wonder if they will be Red ivy and Green ivy
Poison Ivy Jokes
Here is a list of funny poison ivy jokes and even better poison ivy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL Marcel Marceau got a bad case of poison ivy as a child. to stop the itching, his mom gave him some calamime lotion.
- A saying that works for avoiding poison ivy and certain people If you see white, danger is in sight.
Ivy League Jokes
Here is a list of funny ivy league jokes and even better ivy league puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my women like I like my Ivy League colleges. Very old and hard to get into.
Quirky and Hilarious Ivy Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about ivy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lily jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ivy pranks.
Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.
"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all t**... in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!
A Texan went to an ivy league party on the East coast...
...and there's this group of fancy ladies standing around.
"Howdy," he said. "Which school did y'all go to?"
"Oh... Yale," one of them replied daintily.
'WHICH SCHOOL DID Y'ALL GO TO?!"
Ivy League School Principal, Mr. Marquez, and Community College Principal, Mr. Davidson, were arguing that their respective students were the most fearless.
Ivy League school principal called his students and asked them to jump in sea full of sharks.
They jumped.
Principal said: See the guts…
Community College principal called his students and asked them to jump.
They said: "Have you completely lost your marbles, Mr. Davidson?"
Principal said: See the guts.
An intern proudly greets his boss as she walks in the office...
"I took the pleasure of getting here early and doing a few tasks to help your day go smoother. I even pruned the ivy hanging on your wall."
She glared at him and stormed into her office and sure enough, almost half of the plant's leaves were in the garbage leaving the poor ivy looking pathetic. "What have you done!?! This plant is plastic!"
The intern smiled and said, "I don't think so, I did the same thing a few months ago and it grew back nice and full!"
The boss yelled, "NO IT DIDN'T! I BOUGHT A NEW ONE!"
I just got fired for getting beauty tips online during my lunch break!
my Boss said " Madison Ivy gets a f**..." is not a video on beauty tips.
I accidently mixed some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...
I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...
The Southern Boy and the Ivy League Girl
A southern guy approaches a beautiful coed and tries to make conversation: "So, where d'yall go to skewl?" -He asks.
"Yale." -She answers
"WHERE D' YALL GO TO SKEWL?!"