The Best 18 Its So Hot Outside Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Its So Hot Outside jokes. There are some its so hot outside hotter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these its so hot outside freeze faster puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Its So Hot Outside Jokes and Puns

It's so hot outside that I almost called my ex.

So I could be around something shady.

I was at my GF's house hanging with her and her smoking hot younger sister

My girlfriend leaves the room leaving me alone with her sister. She's been gone for a while when her sister climbs up on top of me and says "we should have sex right this second, any way you want it, before my sister gets back". I immediately throw her off and start walking out. My girlfriend is waiting outside the room and kisses me, saying I won her trust.

Lesson learned: always keep condom in the car

Jar Full of $10 Bills

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"

"It's really hot outside," a husband tells his wife, staring out the front window.

"What do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn naked?" he asks jokingly.
The wife replies without looking up from the morning paper, "They'll probably think I married you for the money."

She's Naked.

A taxi driver spot a girl hailing for a cab outside a nightclub. She was completely naked. He stopped and she went into the taxi.

Throughout the drive, the girl noticed that the driver kept looking at her with the front mirror. "Hey man, never see a hot naked girl before huh? Why don't you keep your eyes on the road", she said.

Then, the driver stopped driving before turning around and stare at her intensely.

"Nah, I'm just wondering where you keep the money for my cab, Bitch!"


Two tapeworms are chilling wherever it is tapeworms chill at.

One of them says, "So I found this host the other day. Man, you should have seen him! Fat as a blimp, ate more food in one day than most people eat in a week. He was roomy and comfy and spent most of his time sitting or laying down, so I didn't even NOTICE the outside world!"

The other says, "Hot damn! Sounds like a paradise! Then why did you leave? Did he die or something?"

"Nope," answers the first. "But he reaaaaaaally loved Mexican food."

A drummer was standing outside of his car panicking because he accidentally locked his keys inside it.

It was a very hot sunny day and the bassist was still inside the car.

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

One hot summer day on Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie are sitting on the stoop outside their apartment.

Bert turns to Ernie and says, _"Want to go get some ice cream?"_

Ernie replies, _"Sure Bert."_

It's so hot outside

that I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.

It's really hot outside but fear not, my car has the deluxe 2fifty AC feature.

2 windows down, driving 50 miles per hour!

You can explore its so hot outside colder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean its so hot outside evaporate dad jokes. There are also its so hot outside puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two necrophiliacs talk during a hot summer day.

*Sweating*, it's way too hot outside!

Let's go in and crack open a cold one.

The breakdown of what to do in all seasons

Summer:too hot to go outside so you stay in playing video games
Winter:too cold to go outside so you stay in playing video games
Autumn:too much pollen outside so you stay in playing video games

Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "

Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."

Sometimes it gets so hot outside that I like to rub a cold can of Pabst Blue Ribbon across myself to cool down...

I call it a Pabst Smear.

Hey son, it's hot outside! Why don't we play catch?

Don't worry, you won't catch a cold.

My last girlfriend was a lot like a microwave burrito

Smoking hot on the outside

Ice cold on the inside

In Australia, there are only three types of weather:

Too hot, too cold, too wet or a combination.

^(alternate: Total Fire Ban, Totally Flooded and Totally not gonna look outside; mate.)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the its so hot outside spicy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working its so hot outside heat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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