Item Scanned Jokes
8 item scanned jokes and hilarious item scanned puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about item scanned that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Fun Item Scanned Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What is a good item scanned joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A man walks into Target
He gets a cart and visits each aisle picking out various items that he's never bought before. He takes his overloaded buggie up to the checkout and calmly watches each item beginning scanned. When it's over and the cashier asks for payment, he says, "Oh I don't have any money. This was just Target practice."
A dinosaur goes to a supermarket
A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:
'So how are you paying today?'
The dinosaur replies:
'With tyrannosaurus checks.'
Self checkout.
Dear Walmart, I'm sorry I "forgot" to scan so many items the last time I went shopping. In my defense... You literally gave me zero training before promoting me to checker!
So an emo teenager went to grocery store.
He went up to the cashier and said, pointing to his scarred arm
"Hey, can you scan this?"
The cashier then scans the arm, only to say,
"I'm sorry sir, but this item is worthless"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady goes to the supermarket
She brings all her items to the cashier who looks at everything closely as he scans them: 6 eggs, two tomatoes, two cucumbers, one onion, and one carton of milk. After the last item he looks to her and says "you're single aren't you?"
She looks from her items back at him incredulously "Yes! How did you know?"
"Because you're ugly"
Fetty Wapp was fired from 3 cashier jobs before turning to rap music
No matter what items were scanned through, the total always came up to $17.38
I walked up to the really depressed cashier.
He scanned all my items. I said, "So, what's the damage?"
"£42.53," he muttered.
I said, "I was referring to you."
the old man
Some older guy was following me around at a small grocery store, always about 10 feet back. He kept looking at me and sighing. I thought he was some old gay pervert, but I was wrong. He got to the store's single checkout line just before I did. There he turned to me and told me something quite heart wrenching. He said he was sorry for staring, but I looked exactly like his son who had died fighting in Iraq ten years before. He asked if it would be too weird if he could give me a hug and say goodbye as some sort of closure. I though it harmless so agreed. He gave me a hug and said, good bye, son. And then he left the store with his groceries. As I had my few items scanned and went to pay, I was outraged at the total. It was much more than my few items warranted. I asked the cashier to explain the situation, and she said that my father said I was covering his groceries too.
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