Itchiness Jokes
57 itchiness jokes and hilarious itchiness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about itchiness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Itchiness Short Jokes
Short itchiness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The itchiness humour may include short jokes also.
- My wife was wondering why she was so itchy I asked why she pronounced it with a silent "B"
- In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison... Poison I, II, III, would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However poison IV would make you really itchy. - My wife was complaining the other night. She said "I'm all itchy."
I told her "The B isn't silent."
Maybe she'll let me back in the house next week. - A Japanese man observes his son scratching his knee. He comments, "Itchy knee, son?"
The son replies, "I already know how to count, Dad!" - Whenever I ask my friend what the first number in Japanese is, his allergy acts up He always says, "It's itchy."
- What does Homer Simpson do all day as he recovers from monkeypox? He watches "The Itchy and Scratchy Show".
- Did you hear about the chiropodist who got bored and moved out of town? He got itchy feet!
I am so, so, sorry. - If you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells.. Imagine Edward Scissorhands with an itchy scalp.
- What do you get when you cross the president of Russia and an itchy dog- - Vladimir Scootin
- Why is there a holiday song about an itchy father? It's called "Fleas on my Dad", can't find any info on it.
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Itchiness One Liners
Which itchiness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with itchiness? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What does a cloud with an itchy rash do? Find the nearest skyscraper.
- How do Vikings treat itchy red eyes? Tyr drops
- What do you call a number that's red and itchy? rational.
- What would the Simpsons do... If their clothes were itchy and scratchy?
- I don't watch the croatian Football games.. I don't know..it just feels very itchy.
- I've got an itchy trigger finger! I should put some Benadryl on it.
- What do you get when you cook an itchy pig? Pork scratchings
- What do Asians have when their scalps are itchy. Rice
- Why did Tigger shoot Pooh? He had an itchy Tigger finger?
- What do you call it when the bottom of your pants are itchy and red? Hem-roids
- What ailment is most common among Japanese mathematicians Itchy Knee
- Do you what people say those who really want to barbeque? They have itchy traeger fingers
- My mom gave me Head... and Shoulders for my itchy scalp.
- What do you call a artist with a rash? Leonardo Da Itchy
- Why was Jon Snow itchy? He had aunts in his pants
Itchiness Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about itchiness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make itchiness pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A broke, lonely man.
A man who hadn't been with a woman in years was feeling lonely one night. He finally decided he wanted to hire an e**... to fix this problem, but, he was nearly broke.
After sifting through the phone-book he finds an ad for an extremely cheap e**..., only $5. He calls her up and hires her. A few hours later she appears at his house and they spend the night together in his bed.
The next day after she had left he noticed that he was really itchy. After checking the boys he realized he had c**...! Enraged, he called the e**... again and demanded a refund, to which she replied, "Well what did you expect for $5, lobsters?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The tale of two gnats
So a gnat is on a vacation and he sees another gnat but he looked beat up with bruises all over his body. He walks over and asks him why he looks the way he does.
"Well," says the beat up gnat, "My living conditions are terrible. I live in this biker's mustache, and if holding on while he's riding faster than everyone else, it's the bar brawls that'll nearly do you in. This is the first time I've gotten a chance to think about it and I need to move."
The other gnat pats him on the back and exclaims, "Well you're in luck, because I know how you can upgrade big time. Do you see that airport over there? Go over there and slip underneath one of the flight attendant's dresses and nestle in their p**... hair. It's warm, it's safe, if you aren't itchy she won't get rid of you, *and* you still get to see the world."
Enlightened, the beat up gnat thanks him and flies straight over to the airport.
One year later, the gnat goes on vacation to the same spot and sees the same gnat from before, beat up as like he was the first time. He flies over and asks him what happened.
"Well," the beat up gnat starts, "I did just as you said, and by golly you were right. For the longest time I felt like I truly had a good home. Then one day, it was suddenly bright, I feel crushed, I heard lots of screaming, and the next thing I knew I was in some biker's mustache."
Lancelot!
Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him.
"I want to be with the Queen, help me"
So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Queen starts to feel the effect. Arthur, desperate, calls Merlin to advise him on what to do.
"Your majesty, this is an enchantment which only the saliva of noble knight Lancelot can cure. He must apply it to the Queen for three hours"
The King concedes, and Lancelot has his wish granted. The next day, Merlin goes to Lancelot:
"I've kept my part. Pay me"
"What? I won't pay you for only three hours!"
This angers Merlin, who leaves, then puts itchy powder on the King's boxers. Arthur, in pain, calls out:
"Lancelot!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
why do women enjoy s**... more than men
why do women enjoy s**... more than men
A wise man said : "When you have an itchy ears , and then you put your finger in your ear and scartch
which one feel better your finger or your ear ?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know when it's time to manscape?
When your arm gets itchy from m**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men with itchy butts
Have smelly fingers
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Confucius says....
Man who sleep with itchy bottom, wake up with sticky finger
My conditioner says it normalizes dry itchy scalp...
My scalp still itches but now so do all my friend's.
John wanted to kiss a princess, so he asked Paul for help.
Paul agreed, as long as they split the profits. Paul then made an itching powder and put it in the breakfast of the princess. When her mouth itched, Paul declared to the King that John had saliva that possessed healing powers. The King paid John to heal the princess, and John French-kissed the princess whole night. The day after, John refused to split the profits with Paul. So Paul put itching powder in the King's underwear. The King then called for John to heal him of his extremely itchy bottom. You know what happened.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jon Snows going to feel itchy during the GOT season finale!
What else would you expect with aunts in your pants?
Itchy around her belly.
The kangaroo mother got incredibly itchy around her belly. She opened her pouch and yelled into it: How often have I told you not to eat the crunchy cookies in bed!
I ran through a field of grass and my skin got red and itchy...
Some may call me irrational.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you say when an arachnid with p**... and psoriasis gets s**... into a tornado out at sea?
♫ ♫ the itchy b**... spider went up the waterspout ♫ ♫
Yon, the rockstar, tells his dad he has a sore leg.
'At least your knee isn't itchy.' He replies.
'Why's that?'
'Then you'd have an itchy knee, son Yon. Go rock.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The sun is like a hot girl with a STD
It might be nice to be in it at first but later you might get itchy and regret it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A family was having dinner when the topic of s**... came up.
Teenage son: I know s**... feels good for both people but does it feel better for the man or woman?
Mom replies: What feels better, an itchy ear or your pinky finger?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an arachnid that constantly complains about its allergies?
Itchy b**... spider