Italy Jokes
123 italy jokes and hilarious italy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about italy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best england v italy jokes, venice italy jokes, spain italy jokes.
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Funniest Italy Short Jokes
Short italy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The italy humour may include short soccer jokes also.
- Too soon for COVID jokes? COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end. - If France and Italy go to war, who would win? None of them, France would surrender and Italy would switch sides.
- France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other France surrenders
Italy changes sides
Both lose - Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets? His name was Only One Cannoli.
- What is 5 feet tall, has 22 legs and feigns death if you approach it up to two meters? The Italy national football team.
- Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun) It was worth every Penne.
- Why Does Italy Have Such A Low Teen Pregnancy Rate? Because the kids learn in Italian history to always pull out
- What's the difference between a word that's spelled the same forwards and backwards and your friend in Italy? One's a palindrome and one's a pal in Rome
- I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars. I must have left on Data Roman.
- Elsa dolls outsell Anna dolls in every country in the world, except Italy because when Italians ask their kids which doll they want, they say You wanta Anna or Elsa!
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Italy One Liners
Which italy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with italy? I can suggest the ones about nation and .
- What do you call the bad part of Italy? The spaghetto.
- Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy? The mafia doesn't like witnesses.
- What is the proper way to explore Italy? You Rome.
- I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy. I guess you can call it a fascistnation.
- Why is the leaning tower of pisa in Italy? It's Italicized
- I met a girl in Italy Genoa?
- Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy? Because all the roads lead to Rome.
- Why is having a bbq not popular in Italy? Spaghetti keep falling through the grill
- I Identify as Italy in the 1600's Baroque
- What do you call a couple of ants sharing a slice of pizza in Italy? Romance
- A Canadian man went hitchhiking in Italy He wandered aboot for three weeks.
- Where do poor people live in Italy? In the spaghetto
- What did Dido say when Aeneas departed for Italy? Don't go. Aeneid you!
- I've got a map of Italy tattooed on my chest I've got really sore Naples though
- Why did everyone want to go to Italy during World War II? They were Fascistanating
Spain Italy Jokes
Here is a list of funny spain italy jokes and even better spain italy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was bowling with a friend and when it was his turn, I called out to him: "Germany, Italy, Spain, Norway!"
"What?" My friend said.
"Europe." - Soviet diplomats It would be great if in 1941 Italy, Romania, Finland and Spain, having shown solidarity with Germany, limited themselves to the expulsion of several Soviet diplomats.
- Spain, Greece, Italy, and Portugal walk into a bar. Who pays? Germoney.
Rib-Tickling Italy Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about italy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make italy pranks.
Bring me back a nice Italian girl
A man is dropping off his wife, who's being sent on a business trip to Italy, at the airport. Before saying his goodbyes, he quips "Now be sure to bring me back a nice Italian girl." A week later, he's back at the airport to pick her up. After kissing her hello, he says "So did you get me that nice Italian girl?" to which the wife responds "Well I did my best, but we're going to have to wait 9 months to find out if it's a girl."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was asked for his secret to a long lasting marriage...
**"Well, i took my wife to Italy on our honeymoon."** *"so what are you guys doing for your 20th wedding anniversary?"*
**"Im going back to get her."**
A joke from Italy
Pierino returns home from school and he is very happy. He tells his dad "Hey Dad! did you know that today me and my friends placed a bomb in the school?
"Are you Crazy?" his dad responds. "You will be in a lot of trouble when i tell the principal what you did and he expels you when you go back to school tomorrow!"
Pierino: "School? What school?"
What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy?
When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, "Merci!".
Come here
An Albanian guy goes for the summer to Italy. When he finally returns he won't stop bragging about all the things he did, all the places he saw, and all the things he learned.
His friend is getting annoyed with all his boasting and asks him, "How do you say 'come here' in Italian?"
"vieni qui."
"How about 'go there'?"
At this point the show-off pauses for a few seconds trying to remember.
He finally says, "I go over there and tell you 'vieni qui'."
My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."
Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.
So, I ran into my old Geography Teacher the other day...
and he invited me to his birthday party.
"It's a Geography themed fancy dress party." he said with a grin.
"How's that going to work?" I asked.
"Well, for instance, I'm going as a large Island off the coast of Italy."
"Don't be sicily" I replied...
I went to a military history exhibit at a museum in Little Italy.
I saw a cool old German submarine. I walked up to a guy and said, "Hey, is that a U-boat?"
He said, "No, it's-a the museum's!"
What are the rough parts of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Time flies in Italy....
...Everywhere you look, another d**...'s by.....
My dad got me with this one earlier.
"So, you know how ships from America are USS whatever, right? Well, that stands for United States Ship. In England, they use HMS. And that means Her Majesty's Ship. In Italy, though, they use AMB. Know what that means?"
"What?"
"ATTSA MY BOAT!"
Italy Never Lost WW2
They just switched sides when needed.
Why did the exterminator go to Italy?
To destroy romance.
Did you hear about that glacier off the coast of Italy?
It was a Romaine Iceberg
Rome wasn't built in a day...
But it was built in Italy!!
Of all the cars in Italy...
Mussolini's is the fascist.
What's the best selling soft drink in Italy?
Dr. Pepe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Chinatown Bok Choys soccer team say when they lost against the Little Italy Panettones just after eating lunch?
You Dim Sum, you lose some.
What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'?
River Derci. Sorry.
A joke from Italy
-Dad, have farts a weight?
-I don't think so
-So....well, I guess I pooped myself
Italy changes law to make all markets give unsold food to super needy
keep it going
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy...
...but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
It's raining in Italy
That's why it has the shape of a boot and not a flip flop.
What's the most popular occupation in Italy?
Pastatution.
Two friends are talking , "So what are you doing for summer vacation?"
The other one replies " I want to go to Italy again , like last year"---
"Wow you went to Italy last year?"-----------
" No, but I did want to go "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does time go by so fast in Italy?
Because every time you turn around you see a d**... by.
Why did italy cross the road?
To switch sides
Today I learned that Disney had to rename Moana in Italy because an Italian pornstar has the same name
AND NO ONE KNOOOOOOOOWS HOW DEEP SHE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOES.
I told my friend I was going to dress up as a small island off the coast of Italy for halloween
He said don't be Sicily
France and Italy declare war...
France surrenders and Italy switches sides. Both countries lose.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In Italy, they call me Olive Oil
Its because im extra v**.... :(
Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Florence?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Florence, Italy.
Son: I guess that's a nice way of naming your kids.
Dad: Yeah, Backseat, it is.
A man goes to the doctors and says "I feel like an island of the south coast of Italy"
The doctor replies "Don't be Sicily"
What do you call a fog in Italy?
A Bigamiste
French Presidential bodyguard accidentally discharges weapon whilst on duty...
France & Italy have both offer their immediate unconditional surrender.
Great dynasties of history
Egypt: Ayyubid
South Africa: Zulu
China: Ming
Greece: Helena
Italy: Medici
U.S.: Duck
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
A woman has to go to a conference in Italy, so her husband drives her.
"Thanks honey" she says, "what would you like me to bring you back?"
"Oh, um, an Italian girl!" The husband jokingly says.
"I'll see what I can do" the woman says as she walks into the airport waving goodbye.
3 days later the woman returns and her husband greets her at the airport.
"How was your trip? Did you remember to bring my gift?"
"What gift?"
"The Italian girl!"
"Oh, we'll have to wait 9 months to see if it's a boy or girl"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call two lovers who will not stop talking about their k**... s**... in Italy?
Two romantics going on about their Rome antics
3 spies from England, France and Italy were sent to the USSR.
After a week they were captured and put in jail. The Russians took the English spy, tied and tortured him and after 20 minutes he gave all the info.
Then the Russians took the French spy. They tied and tortured him, and after 20 minutes he too gave all the info.
Then they took the Italian spy and did the same to him, but he didnt give any info. They kept torturing him for 3 hours but with no luck. Eventually they gave up and put him back in the cell.
The 2 other spies asked him How did you do that? They tortured us like crazy! The Italian replied: I wanted to give all my info, but they tied my hands and so I couldn't speak.
Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.
Each person was assigned a country to report on.
Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!
Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.
With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the leftist eat on his holyday in Italy?
Antifapasti
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are Italy out of the World Cup?
They didn't pasta ball good enough.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni
What time do they eat dinner in Italy?
Half pasta six!
As a Englishman, I feel shame for my countries lack of a unique dish
I mean, look at Italy with their pasta and pizza. Portugal has Peri-Peri sauce, the French have omlettes and fancy bread. And I think we all know how the good the Germans are with ovens.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
I was walking in Little Italy yesterday
when I saw a man patiently standing by his car as he was being written a parking ticket. The officer finished, and the man thanked her and opened his car.
Confused as to why he seemed so unconcerned I approached him. "Sir! You just got a ticket! How are you so calm about this?"
He just shrugged and said, "It's a-fine."
Did you hear about the war between France and Italy?
Italy switched sides and France surrendered
Two men saw a stranger walking with a large knapsack across the plains of Italy in 500 C.E.
Man 1: Why is that man walking around aimlessly whilst carrying such a heavy load on his back?
Man 2: He is not from around here, he is a nomad
Man 1: How can you be so sure?
Man 2: Isn't it obvious? Just look at him, he has a purpose for walking. If was walking aimlessly, he'd just be Roman
From former prime minister of Italy : Have you heard about the survey? They asked women aged between 20 and 30 whether they'd make love to Berlusconi."
"....33 percent of them said 'yes' and 67 percent said 'again?'
A foreigner was walking around Italy
When suddenly a thief grabbed her purse and started running away
The woman shouted "Hey! It's my purse!"
The thief shouted back "It's my job!"
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
Genoa bout the bridge collapse in Italy?
Ah well, we won't go over it then.
Where do you get your prescription filled in Italy?
At the Pharmigian
Italy launched a hip new campaign to encourage young entrepreneurs: #GenerationItaly
Soon the youth couldn't stop talkin about Gen-Italia
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What part of Italy has the highest crime rate,
The spaghetto
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine
did i ever tell you about the time that i was contacted by a former partner who was working in italy via the money transfer service i was using?
I was not ready when my ex communicated by the paypal authority
