Italian People Jokes
16 italian people jokes and hilarious italian people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about italian people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Italian People Short Jokes
Short italian people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The italian people humour may include short italian women jokes also.
- As an Italian, I am often confused when people have trouble addressing my dwarf father I mean, it's a little apparent.
- Some people I know are completely averse to eating Italian food. I think they said it was because they didn't want to support Big Parma .
- Do you know why so many Italian people are named Tony? Years ago they were shipping a bunch of them into America and they stamped on their foreheads To:NY.
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Italian People One Liners
Which italian people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with italian people? I can suggest the ones about italian man and italian food.
- Italians are the quietest people, Hands down.
Silly & Ridiculous Italian People Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about italian people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean italian irish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make italian people pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Five guys in an audi Quattro...
...arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customs officer stops them and says,
"It'sa i**... to p**... five people in a Quattro."
"What are you talking about?" the driver asked.
"Quattro meansa four, and you are five-a people."
"Quattro is just the name of the car."
"Don'ta think you can fool me! Quattro meansa four and you are five-a people, you are breakinga the law."
"You idiot! Call your supervisor, I need to speak with someone with more intelligence!"
"He can'ta come."
"Why not?"
"He'sa busy witha two guys in an Uno."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People say mario is "unrealistic"
but if an Italian man jumped on my head I would die and he would be entitled to any coins I have
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
Being a musician is great for travelling and meeting new people. Throughout my career I have met amazing humans.
Once I met this Italian opera singer, amazing gal. Some other time an irish theremine player. But the other day I met a polish sound engineer. And a czech one too. And a czech one too. And a czech one too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ever heard of an Irish bath?
An Irish bath is when you stand at the sink and just wash your armpits. Some people call it a Gypsy bath, or an Italian shower. A French bath is when you just douse yourself in cologne.
Whatever you call it, it's all just ethnic cleansing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian went to church to admit his sins.
When the father opened the confessional's window, man stated talking:
-Father, I have done sin. During ww2 in my neighborhood lived a very beautiful Jewish girl, who asked if I could hide her from the Germans.
Father answered:
-Well, that's bravery and not sin.
The man continued:
-But it wasn't just that. I started to collect "rent" in form of s**.... First once a week, but eded up to every day and twice on Sundays.
Father said:
-That time meny people surely did the same. Thus your sins are forgiven and you are free to go home.
The man still continued:
-Father, I still have one question. Should I tell the woman, that the war is over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do [Mexicans, Jews, Italians, b**..., Asians, Samoans, Indians, Jews again, etc.] stink?
So blind people can hate 'em too
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian soccer player walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar. He says: *Ouch* .
An Italian soccer player walks into a bar. He **SCREAMS IN PAIN, CLUTCHING HIMSELF IN AGONY YELLS AT PEOPLE NEARBY AT RANDOM TO CALL THE POLICE, CONTINUES SCREAMING FOR MINUTES ON END, UNTIL HE FINALLY FAINTS VIOLENTLY.**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my Italian American dad I got fired from my job because my boss found out I like to pee on people during s**....
Urophillia! He shouted
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Confession...
An elderly Italian man, who lived on the outskirts of Rimini Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the n**.... So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."
"There is more to tell, Father... she started to repay me with s**... favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."
And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
God sends an angel down from Heaven...
...To bring the commandments to the people of the world, first the angel visits the French and he says "I have these commandments for you, they'll make your lives better"
"Well, what are they?" asked the French
"Thou shalt not commit adultery" replied the angel
"Bah, we're not interested" the French scoffed, and he waved the angel away. Next the angel went to the Germans and offered them the commandments, "What are they?" the Germans asked.
"Thou shalt not kill" said the angel
"Thou shalt not kill?" said the Germans "I think not" And they waved the angel off
Next the angel went to the Italians and offered them the commandments, "What are they?" the Italians asked.
"Thou shalt not steal" said the angel
"Ah, go away" Said the Italians, and they waved the angel off
Then the angel went to the Jews and said "Look, I've got these commandments..."
"How much are they?" asked the Jews
"They're free"
"We'll take ten"