Italian Food Jokes
53 italian food jokes and hilarious italian food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about italian food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Italian Food Short Jokes
Short italian food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The italian food humour may include short italian chef jokes also.
- IRISH EATS ITALIAN Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath. - I went to a fancy Italian restaurant but stormed out when I found bugs in my food. Turned out it was the anty pasto.
- A king, a clown and a little red haired girl walk into an Italian restaurant. Last thing they want is food poisoning.
- My friend works at an Italian restaurant. Today, he over-fried the food while trying to tell us a ghost story. Guess it's crispy-pasta now.
- If Italian food is made by Italians and Indian food by Indians,... who is making Dog food?
- An Italian cuisine delivery guy crashed on a highway while delivering food... He pasta way.
- I had to magic up some Italian food for an unexpected guest. I just mixed garlic, nuts, basil, cheese, and olive oil, and *Hey Pesto!*
- My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with Italian food. I wouldn't put it pasta.
- An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill myself."
- FOOD POISONING Haven't you heard about that famous Italian Chef that got food poisoning?
Sadly, he pasta-way last night.
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Italian Food One Liners
Which italian food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with italian food? I can suggest the ones about italian people and mexican food.
- I like to chat with others while eating Italian food. It helps to pasta time.
- Politics is like Italian food. You get the same pasta, but with a different sauce.
- What did the Italian Meat say after paying for everyone's food? 'salami
- What do you call a jamaican who has a fond taste for italian food A Pasta-man
- Why do Italians and Jews get along so well? Both cultures are based on food and guilt
- What's the key to making authentic Italian food? Switch sides halfway through
- What is an Italian Pirate's favourite food? SpARGHetti
- What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions? A pasta free.
- What super hero likes italian food? Ollive the gardiens
- why new yorkers love italian food raviyoli
- What's Jesus's favorite type of food? I don't know but it probably isn't Italian.
- what's a black Italian's favourite food? Spaghetto bolagnaise
- What's an Italian skateboarder's favorite food? Raviolly
- Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east? Allah Garden.
- What do you call a h**... that asks for payment in Italian food? A pasta-tute.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Italian Food Jokes
What funny jokes about italian food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean french food jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make italian food pranks.
An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat all the food on this plate, I'll kill myself."
Not Going to Like Thursday
It's a convicts first day in prison. He's a young convict and he's crying. An older convict comes over and sits down. He says look it's not so bad here. For instance, do you like movies? The new guy says, "Yeah I love movies." Every Monday we have movie night, first run movie. Do you like Italian food? The new guy says, "Yeah I like Italian food." On Tuesday in the cafeteria, it is all Italian food. Do you like baseball? The new guy says, "I love baseball." Every Wednesday we have a pick up game and everyone plays even the guards, it is really fun. The old guy says, "One more question, are you by any chance a homosexual?" The new guy says, "no I'm not." Ah, you're not going to like Thursday.
A young man was sent to prison,
Upon his arrival an older man welcomed him to make sure he was comfortable.
The older man asked "Do you like baseball?" the young man replied "of course, I loved playing it as a kid" the older man said "we'll that's great we play baseball all day Monday".
The older man asked "Do you like movies?" The young man replied, "yes, I love watching a good movie" the older man replied "that's great, Tuesday is movie night."
Next the old man asked "Do you like Italian food?" The young man replied "yes, that's actually my favorite". The old man replied "Wonderful, on Wednesdays its Italian food night in the cafeteria".
Lastly the old man ask "Son, are you a homosexual?" The young man replied "No sir, I have a wife on the outside. The older man replied "Well young man, you're not going to enjoy Thursday nights."
So a Greek, Frenchman and Italian strand on an island
So after a while being stuck they decide to search for food.
Suddenly a tribe comes out of nowhere and took them as captive.
The tribe decided to interrogate them.
So the tribe decides to interrogate the Greek as first, after 1 hour the Greek comes out without feet.
He told everything after they cut his feet off.
Then they decided to interrogate the Frenchman, after 2 hours the Frenchman comes back without an ear.
The Frenchman told the tribe everything after the tribe cut his ear off.
At last the tribe decides to interrogate the Italian, after 20 hours the Italian came back without telling the tribe anything.
Impressed, the Greek asked why the Italian did not tell the tribe anything, the Italian said:
"I wanted to but they cut off my hands"!
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
God enjoys a good laugh!!
(found on my FB newsfeed)
**There were three good arguments that Jesus was Black:**
* He called everyone brother;
* He liked Gospel;
* He didn't get a fair trial.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:**
* He went into His Father's business;
* He lived at home until he was 33;
* He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:**
* He talked with His hands;
* He had wine with His meals;
* He used olive oil.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:**
* He never cut His hair;
* He walked around barefoot all the time;
* He started a new religion.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:**
* He was at peace with nature;
* He ate a lot of fish;
* He talked about the Great Spirit.
**But then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:**
* He never got married;
* He was always telling stories;
* He loved green pastures.
**But the most compelling evidence of all - three proofs that Jesus was a woman:**
* He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food;
* He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it;
* And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
Can I get an AMEN!!
ITALIAN FOOD
WHAT IS AN ITALIAN l**... FAVORITE FOOD?
CUNNINGLINGUINI !
The U.N. initiates a poll...
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
What happened to the p**... who ate too much Italian food?
He got Pasta-t**....
New inmate at prison.
A new inmate arrives at prison and he is visibly scared and nervous when he is approached by a veteran inmate.
"Hey man, it's not so bad here. Let me ask you something, do you like movies?"
"Yeah, I like movies."
"Great! Every Monday we have a movie night. Let me ask you something else. Do you like baseball?"
"Yes, I like baseball."
"Great! Every Tuesday we go outside and play baseball in the yard. Let me ask you, do you like Italian food?"
"Yes, I do."
"That's fantastic! Every Wednesday we have a pasta night. Now let me ask you one more thing. You aren't by any chance a homosexual, are you?"
"No. No, I am not."
"Ohhh...well you're not going to like Thursdays."
What do you call Italian food made by a reptile?
**Turtl**ini.
What do you call a woman who trades s**... favors for Italian food?
A pasta-tute
Some people I know are completely averse to eating Italian food.
I think they said it was because they didn't want to support Big Parma .
What food do Italians eat during s**...? [n**...]
Fetishini
