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It Nerd Jokes

128 it nerd jokes and hilarious it nerd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about it nerd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest It Nerd Short Jokes

Short it nerd jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The it nerd humour may include short nerd jokes also.

  1. If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd.. I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
  2. What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common? They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.
  3. What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life? Alien versus Redditor.
  4. Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping.
  5. [Nerd joke] What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies? They both violate the rules of the premises.
  6. Two kinds of nerds: May the force be ____________
    a. equal to mass times acceleration.
    b. with you.
  7. Glasses wearers are less likely to get Covid-19... I guess you could say we have nerd immunity.
  8. Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider... It was full of nerds so they split.
  9. I can't eat whale blubber. I've tried it, I'm just not Inuit.
    -my beloved nerd of a husband
  10. Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class *
    Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
    * whole class laughs *
    Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
    * whole class is silent *

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It Nerd One Liners

Which it nerd one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with it nerd? I can suggest the ones about geek and computer nerd.

  1. Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
  2. What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common? They both do their essays.
  3. Why is it so warm in Linus Torvalds' office? Because he doesn't have Windows.
  4. I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, "1920x1080".
  5. What do you call a nerd after highschool? Boss
  6. What does a deaf math nerd speak? Sine language.
  7. Come over to the Nerd side... We have Pi.
  8. A nerd walked into bar He wasn't wearing his glasses
  9. what's a nerds favourite dessert? Raspberry pi
  10. [Nerd Joke Warning] What Tea makes you original? Novel-tea
  11. what do you call a pale, introvert nerd? Fair and square
  12. Come in our nerd group! We have pi
  13. Why did the nerd like to play chess? Coz that's the only time he gets to mate
  14. What did the nerd say to the cute girl? Are you an API because I want to call you?
  15. Knock knock Knock knock
    Who's there
    Doctor
    Doctor who?
    Nerd!

Comical It Nerd Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about it nerd you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math nerd jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make it nerd pranks.

How can I keep a major nerd in suspense for 24 hours? I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.

Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958

Me being a math nerd I was certain that my crush would reject me if I asked her out

But either way, I was 2² to ask her out

What do you call an irritated nerd?

A noyd.

A nerd was walking home from the comic book store and tripped over a green lantern.

He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. "Three wishes, kid. You know the drill." The kid thought about it for only a second and said, "I want to be just like Batman." "No sweat," said the genie, "I'll be back for your two other wishes after I'm finished with your parents."

Nerd Joke: What's the difference between UDP and an epileptic?

Only one of them shakes hands.
I guess if you're worried about offending epileptics, you can swap out "epileptic" with "well-trained dog." I came up with this after hearing another UDP joke: "I know a great UDP joke, but you might not get it."

Whatever you do, don't tell this joke to a math person; they will just make you upset

Bill is a giant nerd, and he knows that he isn't perceived as cool; in fact, lots of people call him a square. So, in an effort to be cool, he finds some cool guys and decides to go do everything he can with them.
They say, "Hey Bill, we're going to the bar. Want to come?"
He says, "Sure," and comes to the bar. They all order shots and beers. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he orders shots and beers, and they all have a great time.
Next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a club. Bill comes along with them. They all start grinding on women and ordering tons of booze. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he does the same and has a good time.
The next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a football game. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he comes along. The guys are all cheering for their team enthusiastically, but Bill just sits quietly in his seat. Finally one of the guys says, "Bill, this isn't like you. Everything else we've done, you've joined in happily. Why won't you root for the team with us?"
Bill replies, "Well, I don't want to be a square. And rooting? Rooting is for squares."

Jokes that nerds tell

I would tell you a NTP joke, but I don't have the time.
Got any more

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"Who are they? Who do they look up to?

And if they're so awkward with the opposite s**..., why are there so many of them

I see your nerd joke and raise you mine

A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down. He says to the bartender "How much?". Bartender replies, "For you no charge."

A nerd rides up to his friend on a new bike.

The friend asks "Wow! Where'd you get the cool bike?"
The guy replies "A beautiful blond woman rode up to me on it, then took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted!"
The friend says "Good call, dude! The clothes would never have fit!"

(For Star Wars nerds) What do baby Twi'leks wear when they eat fish?

A Bib Fortuna

Nerds Unite Comedy Show @ Nampa Karcher Mall Sat, Jan 24th 2:00pm

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

A nerd walked into my Bio class today sipping a full martini glass...

Me: Why did you decide to bring alcohol into class??
Nerd: I needed to prove that I was more of a daredevil than I get credit for.
Me: Well what's in the glass then?
Nerd: Ahh, its a little cocktail I call the "Jellyfish".
Me: Why do you call it that?
Nerd: Because its 98% water...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call 2 guys who like math?

One friend said Alge*bros*.
Another friend said "f***ing nerds".
They're both right.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How is using the Pirate Bay like hiring a p**...?

Only nerds brag about doing it

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

you know what really turns on a nerd?

unprotected wifi

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How did the Machine Learning professor pick which of his undergrads to have s**... with?

He used a Naive Babe Classifier.
... Sorry for the nerd joke; I'll show myself out.

You Are What Your Eat

I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is the difference between a Nerd and a Troll.

Trolls were once Nerds too before they went over to the Dork side.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Q: How many geeks does it take to ruin a joke?

A: You mean nerd, not geek. And not joke, but riddle. Proceed.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Classroom Nerd

(In a high school class room)
Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a p**...

Help, I need nerd jokes the average high school student can understand.

Something along these lines,
Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything.

What do geeks and nerds love but cant have?

80085

What is a nerd's favorite drug?

Mathamphetamin

What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem.

A Big Fat Geek Wetting.

The functions were throwing a party

Sinus, cosinus and tangens were dancing like crazy. Only e^x was all alone in the corner of the room, so sinus walked to it and asked "Hey, exponential! How are you doing? Why don't you try to integrate yourself?" "I'm trying!!! But nothing happens..."
ha. ah. ah. \*cough\* _i'm a nerd :'(_

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Computer nerd dirty talk

I'm going to stick my D: disk into your V: drive.

When a South African tells me they really love math

I can't work out if they're a nerd or an addict

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I was a bit of a nerd in high school. Instead of chasing girls I was studying philosophy

My friends always said that I put Descartes before the w**....

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you get when you cross a s**... with a halo nerd?

Masterchief

If nerds play RPGs, what do Geeks play?

RBGs.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call two Australian math nerds having s**...?

A square root.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the difference between a nerd and a s**...?

One gets high scores, while the other gets high on scores.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call two nerds dry h**... on the couch?

Science friction.

For you science nerds, Have you heard of Cole's Law?

It goes good with a hamburger.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What joke will annoy a math nerd?

What do you read at a mathematician's f**...?
[A Eulergy](#s)

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you say to a nerd that broke their arm?

Wow, ***algebraic*** it?

A nerd was invited to compete in the Trigonometry Mathletic Competition...

he said:
"Sine me up!"

What Asian meal is the most popular in the Apple-nerd community?

iPad Thai.

you should make sure chrome doesn't save your password on lab computers

i logged you out
prequel nerd

Why didn't the client tip the server?

Because they didn't have enough cache!
(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My computer nerd friend had a failed s**... attempt today...

He wrote CTRL-X on both of his wrists

Why did the chemist wear gloves to brush his teeth?

His mouth was 4 molar
Post your favorite nerd chem jokes!

If grammar nerds had a convention...

...it would be called Lexicon.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call having s**... after anime?

Nerd-flix and chill

What do nerds eat for breakfast?

Terabytes

Why was the computer nerd sad that there weren't any barbecues with wifi?

Because there aren't any grills on the internet.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do nerds relieve their s**... frustration?

They maths debate.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What do you call a female nerd?

A ner.
Because she's a nerd with no D.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A nerd walks up to a hot girl

"Girl you must not have been indexed by Google, because I haven't found anyone like you"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"There's no escape..."

...says a nerd in front of a broken keyboard.

What kind of dog likes to go to the library?

A Labradork.
Reading is for nerds!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's a k**... nerd into?

USBDSM

Got stuck on the highway when the engine blew on the way to Comic Con.

It was a nerd bus breakdown.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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**INFINITY WAR SPOILERS**

Ok now that all the nerds are gone, there's a party going on at my place this Saturday. hmu if you're interested.

Nerds buy Bitcoin currency because it reminds them of their girlfriend

Completely virtual.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Comic shop employees are like bartenders for nerds

The h**... nerds will take One DC, one Marvel, and one Indie

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"

Ummm, "150 points?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What did the Angry Video Game Nerd do at the San Diego Zoo after playing Rocky on the Sega Master System?

he took a bath in elephant f**...!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What did the nerd say to the dirty energy drink stained window that he was cleaning?

Die Red-Bull s**...!

What did the nerd say to his girlfriend?

Nice 5318008.

What do you call a computer nerd

Um it's pronounced 'jif'

What does a nerd call a duplicate Christmas present?

Packet replay

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

An art student showing off their fanart at a Comicon...

An art student showing off their fanart at a Comicon is discussing their work with a customer, and comments: "I know I overuse red and blue, but I can't help it, it's my favorite color pair!"
A passerby asks: "Oh, is it?", and is then brutally executed by the surrounding nerds.

An unpopular math nerd in school never really interacted with anyone.

Some girls decided to play a prank by giving him a piece of paper saying "i <3 u".
Unfortunately, the nerd did not understand and just responded, "Assuming solving for u, u > i/3".

jokes about it nerd