It Jokes
135 it jokes and hilarious it puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about it that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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It Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good it joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Are you a keyboard? Because you're my type!
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Are you a computer w**...? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware.
I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are.
If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
Google is definitely a woman, it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.
Every function without you will always be void of love.
Password looks at itself in the mirror:
"
Don't listen to Google. You are a strong, confident password."
What is the diffrent between a girl and a cellphone... You can put a selfone on silent.
I never ask my kids to call me, I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts.
Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
Why did the female snowman delete Tinder? She was getting too many snow cone pics.
I want our relationship to be like a Nintendo DS cartridge.
If we have any problems, take it out, blow on it, and put it back in.
I opened Outlook Calendar at work today. It looked like a bad game of Tetris.
My computer's got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
This must be the 8th castle because I just found my princess.
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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How Many Does It Take Jokes
Here is a list of funny how many does it take jokes and even better how many does it take puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up. - How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Trump says it's changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.
- How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They only *talk* about change.
- How many Alzheimer's patients does it take in to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side
- How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.
- How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
( - How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? Why must it be a group activity?
- How many trans women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, and you don't even need the lightbulb. Just tell her she's a lovely girl, and she'll brighten up the room instantly.
- How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It takes two, very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb.
- How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
It Pays To Be Yourself Jokes
Here is a list of funny it pays to be yourself jokes and even better it pays to be yourself puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Breaking News: bill gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.
- Word is Hollywood executives are mad about Elliot Page transitioning from a woman to a man... Now they'll have to pay him 20% more...
- Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.
- How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!
- I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
- a guy got an interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
Boss: welcome on board - Amber Heard's net worth is $2.5 million and she now has to pay Johnny Depp $15 million... Yeah, she's forever going to be in Depp!
- Mexico called. They are willing to pay for the wall now.
- Congratulations to me! I just made my last mortgage payment! I still owe like $262,000, but I'm just not going pay them any more.
- My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill... So, I sent him a 'Get well Soon' card.
How Cold Is It Jokes
Here is a list of funny how cold is it jokes and even better how cold is it puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Justice is a dish best served cold because... ...if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
- When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat Is a warm toilet seat
- It was so cold in D.C. today... that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
- What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one.
- LPT: If you ever get cold and don't have a sweater, stand in a corner for a few minutes; they're usually about 90 degrees. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- It's so cold outside I saw a politican with his hands in his own pockets.
- The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.
- I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something.
- 1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow. 1's hands got so cold that they went numb.
2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number. - Here's a great life hack! When you're cold stand in a corner. It's 90 degrees!
It Engineer Jokes
Here is a list of funny it engineer jokes and even better it engineer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Apple engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They no longer make that socket, you just buy a new house.
- I have a Polish friend who is an audio engineer and a Czech one too. Czech one too.
- I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex.
- A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
- As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. German engineering is flawless.
- As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.
- I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
- Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim. - What do British nuclear engineers eat? Fission chips.
- How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer? Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".