It Help Desk Jokes
23 it help desk jokes and hilarious it help desk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about it help desk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest It Help Desk Short Jokes
Short it help desk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The it help desk humour may include short help desk jokes also.
- A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, Sorry ma'am, I forgot what room I'm in, can you help me?
The receptionist replies, No problem, sir. This is the lobby. - A guy goes into a library abd asks the person at the desk, "can you show me where the self-help books are?" The librarian says, "no."
- Two back desk orchestral players go fishing And one falls out of the boat.
He screams: "help, I don't know how to swim!"
His partner replies: "just fake it!" - A customer calls Oracle's help desk Customer: "Oracle is not working today!"
Rep: Hangs up and goes home. - What is the most hated song of all the people working on the help desk? Eric Prydz - Call on me
- When you work in IT help desk and you bring work home with you... Have you tried plugging it in?
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Happy It Help Desk Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about it help desk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean customer support jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make it help desk pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Hotel guest calls the front desk
and the clerk answers, "May I help you?"
The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858.
You need to send someone to my room immediately.
I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."
The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter."
The man replies, "Listen you idiot.
The window won't open and that's a maintenance matter."
Show Off - A young businessman has just set up his own company.
A young businessman has just set up his own company. He rents an office downtown and buys some trendy furniture for it. Sitting behind his new desk, he suddenly sees a potential client come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picks up the phone and pretends that he's calling an important client. Offer them no more than $3 million! he shouts
down the phone. And tell them that if it isn't finished by next week, they won't get a penny! After hanging up , the man says to the visitor, "Hello? Can I help you?" And the visitor replies, Yes, I'm from the phone company. I've come to connect your phone line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A good, short oldie to end your Monday
A professor is working in his office during his open hours. It's only a week away from the final exam, so he thinks nothing when one his students comes in. That is, until he sees she's in a short skirt, a low cut top, and closes the door behind her.
She quickly takes a seat and leans over the desk, saying, "Professor, I *really* need to pass this class. If I pass this exam, I'll pass the class, so I really need your help. It's very important to me. I mean, I would do *anything* to pass this exam."
She reaches out and touches the professor's hand lightly. The professor raises an eyebrow and glances at the closed door. He clears his t**... and leans in.
"Anything?" he asks.
"Anything," she nods.
He takes in a deep breath and then asks, "Would you . . . study?"
A blonde calls the front desk of her hotel in a panic.
"Help! I'm trapped in my room!" she says. "How do I get out?"
The clerk at the front desk says, "just go out the door."
"I tried," she says "but one just leads to the bathroom, and the other has a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I first came to the US. I stayed at a hotel with a rodent problem. I tried to call front desk but I didn't know how to say mouse in English.
Hello sir how can I help you?
Do you know Tom and j**...?
Yes sir.
j**... is here.
Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day...
Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day behind the help desk when a black guy asks where the colored printers are.
I said, "it's MLK day 2018, you can use whichever printer you want!"
The wife & I were staying at a fancy high rise hotel when the argument started.
Things didnt get any better as the night went on. She started to threaten that she would jump out the window. In a panic I called the front desk. They asked how could they help? I said you better send body up here right away, the window wont open.
See the doctor
A psychiatrist was doing his book work, when his secretary came busting into his office, yelling, "Doctor! You have to help!"
"What's wrong?"he asked.
She said, "There's a man at my desk that says he is invisible"
The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him now."
Libraries have really expanded in terms of what they can help with - I just saw a man bring his laptop to the help desk asking how he can check the weather
The librarian had to show him how to use windows
An accountant goes to the doctor...
An accountant knocks on the door of his doctor's surgery and walks in.
"Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." With that he turns around and walks out.
----
30 seconds later he is back. "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me."
The Doctor looks up from his desk and says:
>"Mmm. I think you have a serious case of double entry."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A frantic husband calls down to the hotel's front desk. My wife is trying to commit s**...! Quick! Send help!
We will send a doctor right away!
- No, no, send a handyman, the window won't open!
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
Jesus walks in to an employment office
The man behind the desk, stunned says "hello Jesus, how can I help you?"
"I'm looking for work, my son" Jesus replies
"Can I ask what skills you have?"
"Well I'm a qualified carpenter"
The employment officer bashes his details in to the computer
"Well I have two carpentry jobs, Jesus, one is in Edinburgh, big job, and it pays about £2000 per month! The other one I have is in Jerusalem, and get this Jesus, it pays £10,000 per month"
Jesus mulls it over and says "I think I'll apply for the job in Edinburgh"
"But Jesus, the job in Jerusalem pays five times as much"
"But yes the last time I worked there I got nailed by tax"
A cop sees a drunk stumbling down the street
He says, "Hey, Buddy, you look a little drunk, you ok?."
The drunk says, "Man, I sure am glad to see you officer. See, somebody just stole my car."
The cop says, "Stole your car? Where was the car when you last saw it?"
The guy says, "Right on the end of this key."
The cop looks at the key and looks at the drunk and says, "Well, go two blocks down to the Station and report it to the desk sergeant."
The drunk says, "Thanks, officer. You been a big help."
As the drunk start stumbling towards the station, the cop looks down at the guys pants and says, "Hey buddy, before you go, you better zip up your fly."
The guy looks down at his pants and says, "Aw man, they got my girl too."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Soviet Doctor appointment
One day a man walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse that
he wants to see the eye/ear doctor. "There is no such doctor" she
tells him. "Perhaps he would like to see someone else?" No, I
need to see an eye/ear doctor he says. But there is no such doctor, she
replies. We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose
and t**..., but no eye/ear doctor. No help. He repeats, "I want to
see the eye/ear doctor." They go around like this for a few minutes and
then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye/ear doctor, but if there
were one, why would you want to see one? Because," he replies, "I keep
hearing one thing and seeing another."
Where Is God?
Two brothers are terrible trouble makers. They are always breaking things, stealing things, lying, and making all kinds of general trouble. The parents have tried everything to get the boys to change, to no avail. Finally, out of options, they ask their pastor if he can help. He says he will talk to the boys, but only one at a time. The parents drop off the youngest and go home, promising to return to get him soon. The boy sits in a chair across from the pastor's desk and they just look at each other. Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?" The boy just sits there and doesn't answer. The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?" The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer. The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal to converse and practically shouts "Where is God?" To the pastor's surprise, the little boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office. The boy leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door and pants, "We're in BIG TROUBLE. God's missing and they think we did it!"