JokoJokes

It Blondes Like You Jokes

139 it blondes like you jokes and hilarious it blondes like you puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about it blondes like you that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest It Blondes Like You Short Jokes

Short it blondes like you jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The it blondes like you humour may include short working blondes jokes also.

  1. A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please. There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slice.
  2. If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you... Gingerly
  3. You seem to like blonde jokes around here. Here is my favorite: Why did the blonde have such a terribly bruised belly button? Her boyfriend was blond as well.
  4. Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror? To see how she looks like when sleeping.
  5. Why are blonde jokes always so short? So the people who like to tell them can remember them.
  6. I unexpectedly had a good time today. I was sitting next to a blonde on the train and as my station was coming up I said;
    "Please excuse me, I'd like to get off".
  7. So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar... Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke.
  8. Blonde Joke. A Blonde went for a pizza.
    The chef said, would you like it cut into four slices or eight?
    Blonde said, four please.
    There is no way I could possibly eat eight slices.
  9. Blonde on the phone Blonde: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to New York?
    Operator: Just a minute ma'am...
    Blonde: Thank you! (call ended)
  10. Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it can someone explain me like im two years old this joke?

Share These It Blondes Like You Jokes With Friends




It Blondes Like You One Liners

Which it blondes like you one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with it blondes like you? I can suggest the ones about mean blonde and blond haired.

  1. Why do blondes like BMW's over Chevrolet's? They can spell BMW.
  2. Why do blondes like moonroofs? More legroom...
  3. What does a blonde playing the drums sound like? Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick...
  4. What does a mediating blond girl sound like? "Ummmmmmmmmm...."
  5. Why is a blonde like a railway track? She gets laid all over the country.
  6. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? 
    A: She liked kids...
  7. Why do blondes like sunroofs? More leg room.
  8. How are dumb blondes like peanut butter? They spread for the bread
  9. A smart blonde is like Bigfoot. They might be out there, but I haven't seen any proof
  10. How is a blonde like a screen door? The more you slam it the looser it gets
  11. Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
    'Cause they make them feel famous!
  12. Why did the blonde like lightening? She thought someone was taking a picture of her.
  13. What's the same about a blonde and a car They both smell like used rubber
  14. A blonde is like a hammer Not the sharpest tool in the shed
  15. Why do blondes like tilt steering? More head room.

It Blondes Like You joke, Why do blondes like tilt steering?

Charming Humor It Blondes Like You Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about it blondes like you you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blond girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make it blondes like you pranks.

A man is sitting in a cafe. A blonde waitress approaches and asks for his order. “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream," he says. The blonde waitress replies, “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.


Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde b**...! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

What are a blonde's first words after graduating college? "

Would you like fries with that?"

A blonde motorist is pulled over by a blonde policewoman for speeding.

The female cop asks for the blonde's drivers licence. The blonde motorist asks 'Sorry officer, what does it look like?'
The policewoman replies 'It's a small rectangular thing with your picture on it'.
The blond gives the policewoman her make-up mirror.
The blonde cop responds with 'I think we can forget the speeding fine. I didn't realize you're a policewoman too.'

Blonde genies

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it.
Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux k**... outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead.
As the k**... are walking away, they remove their hoods.
It's the two blonde genies!
One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.
I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.
But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"

So..the wife and I were in town shopping....

..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.

So, This Blind Guy Walks Into a Bar...

And takes a seat in front of the bartender.
"Would you like to here a great blonde joke?" He asks.
The bartender leans in close and says,
"Well, the priest and rabbi to your right are blonde. The two cheerleaders to your left are blonde and, to top it all off, I'M blonde. You still want to tell that joke buddy?"
The blind guy takes a moment to think about it and says
"Nah. I'd rather not have to explain it five times."

Snow wife.

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.


A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!

Two old guys in a supermarket wandering about, looking lost...

One says to the other "Lost the other half?"
"Yup" he replies.
"Me too. Let's join forces to find them. What does yours look like?"
"She's 25, six foot blonde, 36 double-D, long boots and a short skirt".
"Good. We'll look for yours first".

Still the best blonde joke to date..

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.
The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen y**... the blanket
away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.
"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"
"OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen y**... the
blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Only the blonde remains on top of the building. Again, the
firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me
that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."

Three blondes and a brunette walk into a bar.

The blonde girls explain to the bartender that they've never ordered a shot before, and ask what he recommends. He decides on something exciting for their time with hard liquor, and pours them each a flaming shot. He then turns to the brunette, and asks what she'd like to drink.
"I'll just have a water, thanks."
"You their driver?"
"No, I'm not even with them. I just want to be able to remember this."

A r**... family was visiting the city...

...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."

Having s**... with a blonde is kinda like sitting down onto a warm toilet seat.

Having s**... with a blonde is kinda like sitting down onto a warm toilet seat. It feels nice, but you gotta wonder who was there before you.

Why don't the blondes like football?

A blonde went to the Super Bowl and someone asked her afterwards how she liked it. She said she enjoyed many aspects of the experience, but she didn't understand why all the players were fighting so hard over 25 cents. She was asked what she meant. She said, "Well, before the game, they flipped a quarter and one team started out with it. For the rest of the game, they kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back.' Hellooooo?! It's only 25 cents, people."

A blond cop pulls over a blond woman...

The cop asks for license and registration. The driver says she may not have her license, she doesn't know what it looks like. The cop says,"It's small, rectangular, and has a picture of your face on it."
The driver digs around for a minute and finally comes up with a handheld mirror. She hands it to the cop.
The cop says,"Oh, why didn't you tell me you were a police officer?! You're free to go!"

There are 11 blondes...

hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.

A man walks into a bar...

and glances at the menu.
* **Sandwiches, $2**
* **Hand jobs, $5**
He calls over to the waitress, a gorgeous young blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties.
"Hey, hi there. Are you the one doing the hand jobs?"
She smiles thinly, "Yes sir, I am."
"Well, wash your hands and put on some gloves. I'd like a sandwich."

A blonde goes to buy a TV.

A blonde goes out to buy a TV at a department store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair brown. She then goes back to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry but we don't sell to blondes.
Amazed she goes out and dyes her hair ginger. She later returns to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
Blonde: How did you know I'm blonde?
Clerk: Because that's a Microwave.

Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

Three blondes are on a hike...

When they suddenly come across some tracks. The first blonde looks at the tracks and says "I've seen tracks like these before. These are fox tracks."
The second blonde looks at them and says "No, these are definitely deer tracks."
The third blonde looks at them and says "You two are both wrong. These are bear tracks.
Then they all get hit by a train.

A blonde goes into a library.

She walks up to the head librarian's desk and says, "Hi! I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries, and a medium-sized Coke, please."
The librarian stares at her. "Miss, do you realize that this is a library?"
"Oh!" says the blonde. She lowers her voice to a whisper. "*I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries...*"

Dog names

A guy asked his blonde friend, What are the names of your dogs?
The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."

A blond and a brunette are sitting on a porch...

The brunette looks out and sees her husband approaching with flowers. The brunette says: "Oh look, flowers, looks like I'll be having my legs spread open all weekend long..." The blonde replies: "Why? Don't you have a vase?"

A father says to his blonde, teenage daughter one day "honey I thought I asked you to wash the car like 10 times today"...

She replies "I swear I was going to, but I called a hundred different places and nobody has this Elbow Grease that you told me to use !!"

Two lawyers are sitting in a bar...

... When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?" and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what?"

BLONDE AMBITION

Q: What is every blonde's ambition?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Two blondes were driving in a car

They observed another blonde rowing a boat out in the middle of a grassy field. They first blonde turned to the second and said "it's blondes like that that give us a bad name". "Yeah" said the second blonde, "and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her"

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.
The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"
The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."
The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"
The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her.
They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out.
They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.
When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question.
We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire.
Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"
The woman replies,
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and
expect it to be there when I return?"

logician joke (hard to get)

3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh,
'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?'
The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two.
The second logician says, 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the third one.
The third logician says, 'Well, looks like we are!' and orders four beers."

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend...

An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary. She wants to do something special for him that night, and decides that she wants to go down on him, but alas has no experience. She asks her friend for advice, who then hands her a banana and says "Here, practice with this."
Sure enough, the blonde girls peels the banana and goes to town on it like a d**... professional. Her friend says "See, you're doing great! Don't change a thing!"
The next day the blonde's friend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. "How did everything go?" She asks.
The blonde says "Pretty great. Didn't know there would be that much screaming and blood though."
"Blood?" Her friend asks, "Where did the blood come from?"
"The peeling."

Cutting Pizza - A blonde Joke

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.

How much for these shoes? – she asked the store manager.
$200″ – he replied.
That's too expensive! Can't you bring the price down? – the blonde.
The store manager said he couldn't, and got irratated when the blonde persisted.
Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, There's a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don't you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?! – he yelled.
Fine. I will. – the blonde replied.
After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her.
When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.
Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed Oh my gosh! This one doesn't have any shoes either!

A blonde is trying to put together a puzzle

She simply cannot figure out how to do it, so she calls her boyfriend.
He asks her: "What is the puzzle is supposed to look like when finished?" and she replies, " it's supposed to look like a tiger."
He drives to her house, and when he gets there, he begins laughing hysterically.
"Why are you laughing?" She asks.
"These are Frosted Flakes."

Two blondes were driving along in a car...

...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".

Two blondes are walking through a forrest...

They come across some tracks and the first blonde says." I think these are deer tracks". The second blonde says." No these look like rabbit tracks". They keep arguing untill an hour later they were hit by a train.

2 blondes

A blonde was driving home when she was pulled over by a female cop, also blonde.
"Can I see your ID?" says the cop.
The blonde starts rummaging through her purse and is getting flustered. "What's it look like again?"
"It's small, rectangular and looks just like you"
The woman hands the cop a small mirror. "Like this?"
"Oh," said the cop. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a cop too."

A body builder takes off his shirt.

A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!"

He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!"
He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.

She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

A BLONDE'S THEFT

A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."
The librarian says to her coworkers, "So here's the person who took our phone book!"

Furniture

A blonde walks into a department store and tells the salesman, "Hi, I'm looking to buy a s**... sofa."
The salesman, at first confused, suggests, "Oh, ma'am you must mean a *sectional* sofa, right?"
The blonde replies, "No I'm pretty sure it's a s**... sofa, my husband said he'd like an occasional piece in the living room."

A blonde woman was speeding

down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

BodyBuilder and a Blonde

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was

"Hey, you know where there's a theater around here?"

The man responds "Yeah, just around the corner and a block down. You plan on seeing a performance?"
The blonde answers "Yep, a friend told me about a comedic play called 'Puns', apparently is based around words, whatever that means."
"Wait, what exactly did your friend tell you?"
"That he really likes 'Puns': a funny play on words"

Three blonde women stumble across some tracks...

The first one spots them in a large clearing and beckons her friends over. "Look! I think I've found some deer tracks!"
The second woman snorts. "Nonsense," she exclaims, "those look like bear tracks to me."
"Well they can't be both," says the third blonde impatiently. "So what kind of tracks are they?"
And then the train hits them.

A blonde and her husband

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor's dog starts barking and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!'
She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?'
The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor's dog barking all night.'

A blonde woman walks into a shop

A blonde woman walks into a shop and says
"I'd like to buy that tv"
The man replies
"You cannot"
The woman replies
"Why not?"
The man says "because you're blonde"
So, the woman walks out and dyes her hair brown and returns later that day. She says to the man
"I'd like to buy that tv"
He replies
"You cant because you're blonde"
She says
"What?! How do you know??!"
He says
Because that's not a TV that's a microwave"

Two blondes are locked out of their car...

The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

A blonde girl gets pulled over by a blonde police officer for speeding...

The Police officer asks for a drivers license & the blonde starts going through her bag looking for it.
She's getting increasingly frustrated as she looks for the drivers license & asks the police officer for assistance.
The blonde asks: "I'm having trouble finding it... Can you please tell me what it is suppose to look like?"
The officer responds: "Sure, it's just a square that has your picture on it."
After a bit more rustling through her bag, she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the police officer.
The police officer looks at the mirror and says: "Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't realise you were a police officer! You can go"

A blonde, a brunette and a man with bad dandruff walk into an elevator.

The mans dandruff is real bad, like caked on his shoulders bad. Once he gets off the brunette says to the blonde "He really needs some head and shoulders". The blonde says "How do I give shoulders?".

So this old guy is lying face down in the sand on a n**... beach.


A hot blonde comes along and starts rhythmically smacking his buttocks like drums.
Then the g**... flips around, grins toothlessly at her and says, Why don't you play the flute instead of the bongos?

A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle.....

...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him what it looks like. The blonde says, Okay, well, the background is blue and there is a tiger on it. 
After a long pause her boyfriend sighs and says, Honey, put the cornflakes back in the box.

A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)

She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, without know its a lesbian bar, and says to the bartender:
"I have the world's best blonde joke. You wanna hear it?"
The bartender says "Hey, just so you know, I'm the world champion in wrestling. The girl next to you is the world champion in taekwondo and that girl over there is the world champion in kickboxing, and we're all blonde. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"
The guy replies "Haha, no thanks. I don't really feel like explaining the joke three times over."

My boyfriend and I used to argue over the duvet.

I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish and he liked to sleep with a blonde lady called Leanne.

A guy wanks into a bar.

He sees two stunningly beautiful blondes and says,
"Hey, barman, two beers for the ladies."
One of the ladies turns to the guy and asks.
"I think you're wasting your time, sir. We're l**...."
"What's that?" asks the guy.
"It means we only like to have s**... with women" the girl responds.
To which the guy retorts: "Hey barman, three beers for us l**...."

Blonde in a field.

A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"

My one and only go-to joke, hope you like it.

A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. She begins panicking because the horse isn't slowing and shes nearing the ground. At the very last minute the Walmart greeter walks over and unplugs it.

A man walks into a bar and a b**... blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

The man looks up at the menu above the bar and sees that it says, "Hot dog $2, Cheese burger $5, h**... $10".
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She winks and replies, "Why yes I am".
The man says, "Well in that case, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger".

A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.

Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.
"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.
"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for s**...", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in your profile about being a unique".
"Um... I'm a e**..."

Two blondes were driving out in the country side

One looked out the window and saw another blonde in the middle of a field sitting in a rowboat, working the oars.
She pointed her out and said, "Its idiots like that that give us all a bad name."
"You're right," said her companion, "let's go drown her."

Three blondes walking through the woods...

One of them stops and points at the ground in excitement saying, "Oh my gosh look. Those are like, bunny tracks!"
"Those are so not bunny tracks. They're deer tracks." The second blonde says in a matter-of-fact tone.
The third blonde, with hands on her hips, says "Your both wrong. They're not bunny tracks and they're not deer tracks. They're-"
A train suddenly hits them.

Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?

Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The officer replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the officer. "Here it is," she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Two Blondes leave a bar and realize they've locked their keys in the car.

After trying every door, attempting to call someone for help, and further debate, one blonde says to the other I bet I can unlock the doors with a coat hanger! I'll run inside and see if they have one!
The other blonde says Ok, well hurry because it looks like it's going to rain and the top is down!

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave."

...Blonde dog!

...Blonde lying in bed with her husband listening to next door neighbours' dog barking for hours and hours every night!
* **blonde:** "I've had enough of this," ....the blonde runs downstairs, finally returns back to bed.
* **husband:** "The dog is still barking. What have you done?"
* **blonde:** "I've put their dog in our yard, now we'll see how they like it!"

The Blonde in the Boat

A blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a corn field. Being miffed by the ridiculousness of this situation, she pulled her car over and proceeded to yell at the other blonde, You know, it's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and beat you!

40 blondes decided to tour London in a double Decker bus

The ones up on the top were terrified while the ones on the bottom were singing and partying. Finally the tour guide went up to the top to ask why they weren't happy like the others. One of the blondes said, "that's easy for you to say, you have a driver!"

It Blondes Like You joke, 40 blondes decided to tour London in a double Decker bus

jokes about it blondes like you