The Best 56 It Blondes Like You Jokes

Following is our collection of funny It Blondes Like You jokes. There are some it blondes like you dinner jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these it blondes like you coconuts puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest It Blondes Like You Jokes and Puns

A blonde motorist is pulled over by a blonde policewoman for speeding.

The female cop asks for the blonde's drivers licence. The blonde motorist asks 'Sorry officer, what does it look like?'
The policewoman replies 'It's a small rectangular thing with your picture on it'.
The blond gives the policewoman her make-up mirror.
The blonde cop responds with 'I think we can forget the speeding fine. I didn't realize you're a policewoman too.'

Blonde genies

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it.

Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods.

It's the two blonde genies!

One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.

I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.

But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"

So..the wife and I were in town shopping....

..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.

I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".

She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.

It Blondes Like You joke, So..the wife and I were in town shopping....

So, This Blind Guy Walks Into a Bar...

And takes a seat in front of the bartender.
"Would you like to here a great blonde joke?" He asks.
The bartender leans in close and says,
"Well, the priest and rabbi to your right are blonde. The two cheerleaders to your left are blonde and, to top it all off, I'M blonde. You still want to tell that joke buddy?"
The blind guy takes a moment to think about it and says
"Nah. I'd rather not have to explain it five times."

You seem to like blonde jokes around here. Here is my favorite: Why did the blonde have such a terribly bruised belly button?

Her boyfriend was blond as well.


Snow wife.

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.

Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.



A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

It Blondes Like You joke, Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!

Two old guys in a supermarket wandering about, looking lost...

One says to the other "Lost the other half?"

"Yup" he replies.

"Me too. Let's join forces to find them. What does yours look like?"

"She's 25, six foot blonde, 36 double-D, long boots and a short skirt".

"Good. We'll look for yours first".

Still the best blonde joke to date..

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"

The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket
away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.

"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"

"OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the
blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Only the blonde remains on top of the building. Again, the
firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me
that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."

A redneck family was visiting the city...

...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."

You can explore it blondes like you eat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean it blondes like you years dad jokes. There are also it blondes like you puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There are 11 blondes...

hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will crash. So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.

After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......

Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.

A man walks into a bar...

and glances at the menu.

* **Sandwiches, $2**

* **Hand jobs, $5**

He calls over to the waitress, a gorgeous young blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties.

"Hey, hi there. Are you the one doing the hand jobs?"

She smiles thinly, "Yes sir, I am."

"Well, wash your hands and put on some gloves. I'd like a sandwich."

A blonde goes to buy a TV.

A blonde goes out to buy a TV at a department store.

Blonde: I'd like that TV please.

Clerk: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.

So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair brown. She then goes back to the store.

Blonde: I'd like that TV please.

Clerk: I'm sorry but we don't sell to blondes.

Amazed she goes out and dyes her hair ginger. She later returns to the store.

Blonde: I'd like that TV please.

Clerk: I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes.

Blonde: How did you know I'm blonde?

Clerk: Because that's a Microwave.

Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A blonde goes into a library.

She walks up to the head librarian's desk and says, "Hi! I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries, and a medium-sized Coke, please."

The librarian stares at her. "Miss, do you realize that this is a library?"

"Oh!" says the blonde. She lowers her voice to a whisper. "*I'd like a cheeseburger, a small order of curly fries...*"

It Blondes Like You joke, A blonde goes into a library.

Dog names

A guy asked his blonde friend, What are the names of your dogs?

The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."

A blond and a brunette are sitting on a porch...

The brunette looks out and sees her husband approaching with flowers. The brunette says: "Oh look, flowers, looks like I'll be having my legs spread open all weekend long..." The blonde replies: "Why? Don't you have a vase?"

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.

The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"

The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."

The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"

The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her.
They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out.
They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.

When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question.
We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire.
Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"

The woman replies,
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and
expect it to be there when I return?"


logician joke (hard to get)

3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh,

'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?'

The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two.

The second logician says, 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the third one.

The third logician says, 'Well, looks like we are!' and orders four beers."

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend...

An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary. She wants to do something special for him that night, and decides that she wants to go down on him, but alas has no experience. She asks her friend for advice, who then hands her a banana and says "Here, practice with this."

Sure enough, the blonde girls peels the banana and goes to town on it like a deepthroat professional. Her friend says "See, you're doing great! Don't change a thing!"

The next day the blonde's friend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. "How did everything go?" She asks.

The blonde says "Pretty great. Didn't know there would be that much screaming and blood though."

"Blood?" Her friend asks, "Where did the blood come from?"

"The peeling."

Cutting Pizza - A blonde Joke

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.

How much for these shoes? – she asked the store manager.

$200″ – he replied.

That's too expensive! Can't you bring the price down? – the blonde.

The store manager said he couldn't, and got irratated when the blonde persisted.

Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, There's a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don't you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?! – he yelled.

Fine. I will. – the blonde replied.

After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her.

When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.

Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed Oh my gosh! This one doesn't have any shoes either!

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

Two blondes were driving along in a car...

...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.

One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".

A body builder takes off his shirt.

A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!"

He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!"

He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.

She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

A BLONDE'S THEFT

A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."
The librarian says to her coworkers, "So here's the person who took our phone book!"

A blonde woman was speeding

down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

BodyBuilder and a Blonde

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was

"Hey, you know where there's a theater around here?"

The man responds "Yeah, just around the corner and a block down. You plan on seeing a performance?"

The blonde answers "Yep, a friend told me about a comedic play called 'Puns', apparently is based around words, whatever that means."

"Wait, what exactly did your friend tell you?"

"That he really likes 'Puns': a funny play on words"

A blonde and her husband

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor's dog starts barking and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!'

She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?'

The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor's dog barking all night.'

A blonde woman walks into a shop

A blonde woman walks into a shop and says
"I'd like to buy that tv"
The man replies
"You cannot"
The woman replies
"Why not?"
The man says "because you're blonde"
So, the woman walks out and dyes her hair brown and returns later that day. She says to the man
"I'd like to buy that tv"
He replies
"You cant because you're blonde"
She says
"What?! How do you know??!"
He says
Because that's not a TV that's a microwave"

Two blondes are locked out of their car...

The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

A blonde girl gets pulled over by a blonde police officer for speeding...

The Police officer asks for a drivers license & the blonde starts going through her bag looking for it.

She's getting increasingly frustrated as she looks for the drivers license & asks the police officer for assistance.

The blonde asks: "I'm having trouble finding it... Can you please tell me what it is suppose to look like?"

The officer responds: "Sure, it's just a square that has your picture on it."

After a bit more rustling through her bag, she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the police officer.

The police officer looks at the mirror and says: "Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't realise you were a police officer! You can go"

If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you...

Gingerly

So this old guy is lying face down in the sand on a nude beach.



A hot blonde comes along and starts rhythmically smacking his buttocks like drums.

Then the geezer flips around, grins toothlessly at her and says, Why don't you play the flute instead of the bongos?

A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle.....

...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him what it looks like. The blonde says, Okay, well, the background is blue and there is a tiger on it. 
After a long pause her boyfriend sighs and says, Honey, put the cornflakes back in the box.

A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)

She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, without know its a lesbian bar, and says to the bartender:

"I have the world's best blonde joke. You wanna hear it?"

The bartender says "Hey, just so you know, I'm the world champion in wrestling. The girl next to you is the world champion in taekwondo and that girl over there is the world champion in kickboxing, and we're all blonde. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"

The guy replies "Haha, no thanks. I don't really feel like explaining the joke three times over."

A guy wanks into a bar.

He sees two stunningly beautiful blondes and says,

"Hey, barman, two beers for the ladies."

One of the ladies turns to the guy and asks.

"I think you're wasting your time, sir. We're lesbians."

"What's that?" asks the guy.

"It means we only like to have sex with women" the girl responds.

To which the guy retorts: "Hey barman, three beers for us lesbians."

Blonde in a field.

A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"

My one and only go-to joke, hope you like it.

A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. She begins panicking because the horse isn't slowing and shes nearing the ground. At the very last minute the Walmart greeter walks over and unplugs it.

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.

The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The officer replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the officer. "Here it is," she said.

The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Two Blondes leave a bar and realize they've locked their keys in the car.

After trying every door, attempting to call someone for help, and further debate, one blonde says to the other I bet I can unlock the doors with a coat hanger! I'll run inside and see if they have one!

The other blonde says Ok, well hurry because it looks like it's going to rain and the top is down!

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave."

...Blonde dog!

...Blonde lying in bed with her husband listening to next door neighbours' dog barking for hours and hours every night!
* **blonde:** "I've had enough of this," ....the blonde runs downstairs, finally returns back to bed.

* **husband:** "The dog is still barking. What have you done?"

* **blonde:** "I've put their dog in our yard, now we'll see how they like it!"

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A blonde walks into a library

The blonde walks up to the librarian's desk and says loudly, "I'll have a coffee and a bagel".

Everyone frowns along with the librarian and the librarian quietly replies, "This is a library!!".

The blonde replies with a whisper, "I would like a coffee and a bagel!".

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop…

A girl was visiting her blonde...

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.

Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look stupid. If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!

A Blonde and her girlfriend are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours. The Blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs then comes back up to bed and her girlfriend says.

"The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"The Blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how the neighbors like all the barking!"

A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"

"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"

"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"

The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"

She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"

She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"

The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"

"What is it!?"

"Your finger's broken"

Two blondes are driving to Disneyland...

Well, one's driving....

After what seems like ages they finally are in Anaheim, then they come to a sign that says

"Disneyland Left".

So they went back home.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the it blondes like you italia jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working it blondes like you seafood piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes