Isolation Jokes

31 isolation jokes and hilarious isolation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about isolation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Be sure to check out these hilarious isolation jokes that will make you stay in the best of spirits during self isolation. From jokes about social isolation to humor about being separated from the ones you love, these jokes are sure to make you laugh in spite of the additional challenges of being alone. Get ready to get your laugh on!

Funniest Isolation Short Jokes

Short isolation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The isolation humour may include short isolated jokes also.

  1. Coughy Filter Joke The barista at starbucks was wearing a face mask.
    Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
    She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.
  2. I think my math teacher works for the CIA... He always wants to put radicals in isolation.
  3. What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid Quentin Quarantino.
  4. If we isolated all the worlds criminals on an island for a hundred years what would they say if we met them again G'day mate
  5. I was going to post a joke here about self-isolation but then decided not to. It was kind of an inside joke.
  6. During isolation I have a lot of time to practice my bowling.. There's no rest for the wickets
  7. The Human Genome Project had a breakthrough and isolated the genes that make someone homosexual. They are skinny genes.
  8. After weeks of isolation, my wife said she is getting tired of my inappropriate catch phrases... I said That's COVID, baby .
  9. What did the gamer say when they were told they had to spend the next year inside their home, physically isolated from the rest of the world? What's the catch?
  10. I've spent my isolation reading the thesaurus. Because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

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Isolation One Liners

Which isolation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with isolation? I can suggest the ones about quarantine and secluded.

  1. The opposite of 'isolate' is... Usoearly. ._.
  2. What do you call an isolated, Religious, Islamic teenager? A Quran-teen
  3. What's the opposite of 'isolated? You so early.
  4. What's the opposite of isolate? Yousoearly
  5. Covid quarantines were so toxic. We isolated all the positive people.
  6. Scientists have finally isolated the gene... That makes scientists isolate genes
  7. Why are protein shakes such loners? They're whey isolate.
  8. With the new iPhone 7, apple wanted to... iSolate themselves from the other technology.
  9. What do you call an isolated mystical forest creature? Gnome alone.
  10. The sight of you makes me want an American Spirit I want to secede and isolate.

Isolation Covid Jokes

Here is a list of funny isolation covid jokes and even better isolation covid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've just had that dreaded call telling me I have to self isolate! Apparently my roommates cat has Covid 19!
    Don't ask Meow

Self Isolation Jokes

Here is a list of funny self isolation jokes and even better self isolation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm so introverted... That I was told to self-isolate for 14 days, and asked to make it an even 28.
  • What does a Reddit mod and a hipster have in common? Mods self-isolated before it was cool.
Isolation joke, What does a Reddit mod and a hipster have in common?

Isolation joke, What does a Reddit mod and a hipster have in common?

Cheeky Isolation Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about isolation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean independence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make isolation pranks.

Ellen jail joke

Ellen DeGeneres coronavirus jail joke - Today, I am filming this in my living room because all the other rooms in my house are filled with toilet paper !
One thing that I've learned from being in quarantine is that people this is like being in jail, is what it is !
It's mostly because I've been wearing the same clothes for 10 days and everyone in here is gay.

"You have a very rare and extremely contagious condition"

the doctor told his patient.
"We're going to have to put you in an isolation unit where you'll be on a diet of pancakes and pizza."
"Will the pancakes and pizza cure my condition?" asked the patient.
"No," replied the doctor.
"They're the only things we can slip under the door."

Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...

I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!
Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.

The mailman

A mailman gets a new route in a rural community. Walking up to a isolated little farmhouse, he sees a woman out back getting hammered by a goat.
He looks at the kid sitting on the porch, and asks him "Hey kid, doesn't it bother you, what your mom's doing back there?"
The kid looks at him and says "NAAAAAAA!"

A cruise ship passed a tiny, isolated island.

Everyone on board could see a bearded man on the island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?"
"I have no idea," said the Captain, "but every year when we pass by here, he goes nuts."

What is the difference between a man who lives in isolation and a man with a sidewalk f**...?

One is off the beaten path and the other is beating off the path

Seeking jokes for my grandmother who has dementia

My 90 year old grandma is in an assisted living home due to her dementia. She has been feeling isolated (no visits due to Covid).
I have decided to start calling her everyday with a "Joke Of The Day" but I need your help with grandma friendly jokes.
All submissions are greatly appreciated (and any tips for connecting remotely with someone who has dementia and is unable to work any technology). Thank you in advance!

Code red for storm Eunice in The Netherlands

A friend of mine is now on Texel, one of the Dutch Wadden Islands, off the coast of The Netherlands. Sadly, the weather conditions there are very, very bad. The perceived temperature is close to freezing, lots of heavy rain, and wind gusts of close to 100 mph (150 km/h). They are now completely isolated, they cannot leave. They're completely stuck. His mother-in-law does nothing but look through the kitchen window. He's thinking, if it continues like this, he'll have no choice but to let her in...

A farmer and his wife live isolated from other people, but the wife is pregnant and now the farmer has to call the town's doctor

Unfortunately the farm has no electricity so the doctor asks the farmer to light up the room with a lantern so he could see what's he's doing. One after another, 5 children are born. The farmer tries to run away, terrified.
-Come back here, I think there's another baby, but I can't see anything in here! says the doctor.
To which the farmer says:
-No doctor I'm outta here, I think the lantern attracts them!
*Enjoy a poorly translated Romanian joke

Darkened Room

A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm. After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate. However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled. "All I know for sure is that it was a partner -- I had to do all the work."

Isolation joke, Darkened Room