The Best 78 Is Your Dad Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Is Your Dad jokes. There are some is your dad sucks jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these is your dad omar puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Is Your Dad Jokes and Puns

My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said; maybe they'll marry each other.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?

No son, have you seen my dad glasses?

Is Your Dad joke,  Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?

Dads are like boomerangs.

I hope.

Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."

Mom: *Stares at Dad*

Dad: *Clenches fist*

Mom: "Don't!"

Dad: *Sweats Profusely*

Mom: "..."

Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"


I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?

Me: Two. You have two, son.

Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.

As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said

Y'know, one would have been enough.

Is Your Dad joke, As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said

Son In Iraq I killed 15 people.

Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic

Dad:Never said I was a good one

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

The son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?"

So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."

The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."

Wife: I'm pregnant.

Me: Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad.

Wife: No you're not.

You can explore is your dad amine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean is your dad kiss dad jokes. There are also is your dad puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero

The Invisible Man

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"

"Thanks dad !"

"No problem Alan"

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

"No, just leave it in the carton! "

P. S. thanks for the 4 people who sort by new. appreciate it.

Is Your Dad joke, Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan

But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution

Wife was breastfeeding

Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

Me: yeah he is really milking it

My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him


Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"

Father: "Ask your sister.

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?



We've updated our privacy policy

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

Isn't it weird when sometimes you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear?

Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating

My dad first talked to me about sex when I was going to college.


He said, "Son, in college you're going to be surrounded by beautiful girls, so I got you something from the chemist."

"Dad," I said, "I have condoms."

And he said, "You won't need condoms, I got you some anti-depressants."

A boy and his dad are talking.

"Hey Dad."

"Yes son?"

"Did you ever get shot in the army?"

He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;

"No, but I was shot in the leggy."

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

"Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted," my dad told me.

"Are you kidding? Really?" I shouted.

"Yup, get ready," he said. "They'll be picking you up in about an hour."

"Dad I want to be a feminist when I grow up"

"Well, pick one honey, you can't do both"

My teenage daughter came home in a rage.

"I've just had sex education in school today, Dad!

You lied to me!

You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday my boyfriend will die!"

I put down my paper: "Oh, he will sweetheart, he will.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere

Tried to explain my sexuality to my dad..

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.

Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: or a female partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: And that means you're bi.

Me: Yep

Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Did you just...

My dad always told me he never made the same mistake twice

Must be why I'm an only child

I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!!

Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
No, but he always wanted to be.

Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"?

Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."

What rock group has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.ο»Ώ

Actually, the past tense is "hanged", as in "he hanged himself"

Sorry about your Dad, though

Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

Do you know any jokes?

**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"

**Me:** "No."

**Her:** "I'll teach you one."


"Knock! Knock!"

**Me:** "Who's there?"

**Her:** "Ash."


"Now ask, Ash: who?"

**Me:** "Ash: who?"

**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."

**Me: rekt**

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean?

Father: It means 'to be happy'.

Son: Are you gay?

Father: No, son. I have a wife.

How much does Santa's sleigh cost?

$0, it's on the house.

Dad: What's a lion and a witch doing in your wardrobe

Me: it's Narnia Business....

A man is washing his car with his son...

...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?

I love dad jokes

WIFE: I have a couple of important announcements... First: I'm pregnant.

HUSBAND: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad

WIFE: Second: No you're not

"Dad. Are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes, we arson."

Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity...

Should've called it "the Father-figure"

Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.

When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.

Just a Dad Joke

Wife:Hey Honey, I'm Pregnant

Husband:Hey Pregnant, I'm Dad

Wife:No you're not

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

I heard he made a mint.

A child asks his father what "gay" means

The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".

I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired!

Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg

What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future.

The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition?
The guy tells him - Since next Monday.

What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face?

Too close for comfort food!

What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?

European.

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire!

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it!

A cheese factory exploded in France.

Da brie is everywhere!

Why did the old man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well!

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory!

I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.

I told him, - Mark, my words!

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

I'm starting a new dating service in Prague.

It's called Czech-Mate.

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good thymes.

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?

Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.

Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is

No sun

R.I.P. dad

My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:

"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."

___________________

A girl tells her mom she's dating the guy next door

The mom's like you can't date him he could be your dad

And the daughter is like so there's an age difference who cares

I think you misunderstood me

My dad says we shouldn't reward people with trophies for participation, because it's like a reward for losing.

So I took his Vietnam Veteran hat

My seven year old figured out Easter this year

He said The Easter Bunny isn't real dad. It's really a man dressed as a bunny that hides eggs in your house

Dad cooks dinner.

He gives his kids deer meat, but doesn't tell them but gives them a clue.

Dad: What kind of meat is this, it's something mom calls me every day.

Sarah: OMG Billy, It's an asshole don't eat it.

Dad -- Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.

Daughter -- What's that got to do with anything?

Dad -- That means it's pasture bed time.

A little boy walked up to the farmer watching over cows in his field.

Boy:wow! Would you look at that bunch of cows!

Farmer: Herd

Boy: Heard of what?

Farmer: Herd of cows

Boy: Of course I've heard of cows

Farmer: No, a cow herd

Boy: what do I care what a cow heard? I got no secrets from a cow.

(No punchline but my dad used to say it every time we passed cows on road trips and it still makes me smile)

My dad handed down to me a hereditary disease that causes diarrhea all the time.

It runs in the jeans.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the is your dad yas jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working is your dad abu piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes