Irritating Jokes
26 irritating jokes and hilarious irritating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about irritating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Irritating Short Jokes
Short irritating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The irritating humour may include short annoying jokes also.
- My grandpa tried to warn everyone The titanic was gonna sink. When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.
- Okay, I am getting really irritated This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that's had "insufficient funds"
- I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome... ... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'
- When I went to the toilet, I left the door open so I could keep watching the movie. The other passengers on the plane were slightly irritated.
- Today I met someone who never finishes his proverbs. It's very irritating to talk to him, but you know what they say,
- One girl just told me she has feelings for me As examples she mentioned irritation and vicarious embarrassment.
- I know eyelashes are meant to keep things out of your eyes, but it seems to me the only things that get in my eyes and irritate them are eyelashes... It's eye-ronic
- Why do people with irritable bowel syndrome have a hard time making decisions? They can't trust their gut
- My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician He never conducted himself positively at work
- Took my dog to the vet because he won't stop barking Turns out he's got irritable bow-wow syndrome
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Irritating One Liners
Which irritating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with irritating? I can suggest the ones about irritated and annoying people.
- Know why the letters a, e, i, o, and u are so angry? Irritable vowel syndrome.
- It irritates me that I never win the lottery Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets.
- I'm so irritated This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that has 'insufficient funds'.
- I don't use condoms. They irritate my sores.
- When was Cleopatra at her most irritable? When she was on her pyramid.
- Hereditary Irritable Bowel Syndrome Runs in the family.
- Why are peppers irritating? Because they're jalapeno business!
- I once met an irritating man who upheld his family name. He was Hanoi-Ying.
- I've never seen a cross dresser. But I've seen some very irritated credenzas,
- Irritable Bowel Syndrome is genetic. It runs in your jeans.
- The campaign to re-irritate our international allies is called: Make America Grate Again
- I don't wear condoms.... they irritate my sores.
- How do you irritate Lady Gaga? Poker face.
- What do you call an irritated nerd? A noyd.
- What kind of Raspberry dishes do you eat to irritate your bowel? Raspberry tart
Entertaining Irritating Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about irritating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean annoyed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make irritating pranks.
So I was at my bank today.
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me
who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"
I was at my bank today...
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange money for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollars, today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
A man walks into a fish & chip shop to order the evening meal.
He asks for two cod & chips.
Owner: Apologies, we don't have any cod.
Man: Ok… I'll have two cod & chips then.
Owner (slightly irritated): Sorry, we haven't got any cod, like I said.
Man: Sorry, sorry!… I'll just have two cod & chips then.
Owner (now irate): Look mate, we've got no cod! C-O-F-D COD!!
Man (confused): There is no F in cod.
Owner: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!
Exchange rate
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.
An elderly man suspected his wife was losing her hearing
So he decided to test his suspicions. He stood about 20 feet behind her and asked, Can you hear me, my love? But she didn't respond.
So he got about 10 feet away from her and asked her again, Can you hear me, sweetie?
When she didn't say anything, he got up to 5 feet from her and asked her again, Dear, can you hear me?
She still didn't say anything so finally he crept up right behind her and said in her ear, Do you hear me?!
His wife irritably turns to him and says, For the fourth time now, yes! I can hear you!
A young boy sees a tall black man
The boy says "wow you must be good at basketball!"
The black man irritably says "That's racist, just because I'm black doesn't mean I'm good at basketball."
The boy replies "I said you must be good at basketball because you are tall. If I judged you for being black, I wouldn't have said you were good at anything."
So a kid gets on a plane for the first time
and he is really excited about it. He is sitting inside the plane mid-flight when he finds out the plane's a Boeing. So he starts saying "Boeing.. Boeing.. Boeing.."
After a while when he doesn't stop the passengers start getting irritated, and the hostess comes along and tells the boy "Be Silent". So the boy starts "Oeing.. Oeing.. Oeing.. "
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. At one point in the discussion, the teacher remarked that it was physically impossible for a whale to s**... an entire human being because
…even though the whale was a very large mammal, its t**... was very small.
"But the whale swallowed Jonah," the little girl insisted.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not s**... a human. It was physically impossible, she said.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to h**...?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Mother of Six
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife Mother of Six in spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, Shall we go home Mother of Six?
His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back… Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!
