Irresistible Jokes
21 irresistible jokes and hilarious irresistible puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about irresistible that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Irresistible Short Jokes
Short irresistible jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The irresistible humour may include short attractive jokes also.
- Somebody must have roofied my drink last night. I woke up at 4:00 this morning with an irresistible urge to go hammer some shingles.
- I have have developed cat-like reflexes. By which I mean an irresistible urge to curl up and nap on any freshly made bed.
- You can't set out a bowl full of superconductors and expect people not to take them. They're irresistible.
- Life tip: To become irresistible to women all you gotta do is to borrow money from them.
Effects varies depending on the amount you borrow from them. More you borrow, more they become irresistible. - If a dog was president, our country would be extremely peaceful... Treaties would sound irresistible.
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Irresistible One Liners
Which irresistible one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with irresistible? I can suggest the ones about inevitable and adorable.
- How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass? Irresistible.
- Necrophilia The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.
- How do Australians find sheep in the long grass? Irresistible...
- Just read a Calvinist romance novel It's called Irresistible grace
- How would you describe Ohm's desk at his office? Irresistable
- Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
- Women find me irresistible... ...well actually that's what the court found
- Why do women find Channing Tatum irresistible? He's not just cute, he's fedorable.
- Women are like wet paint. Irresistible to touch,
Hard to get off your hands.
Comical Irresistible Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about irresistible you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unbearable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make irresistible pranks.
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie appeared.
The genie looked at the man and said, "And what will your third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish, when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."
"Funny," said the genie, "That was your first wish, too."
Man with half an orange for a head
A guy walks into a bar. Half of his head is a giant orange. The bartender goes, "OH MY GOD, YOUR HEAD IS A GIANT ORANGE!"
Out of his half-mouth, the guy says, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Pour me a shot and I'll explain."
Confused, the bartender pours the guy a shot. The guy downs it and asks for another, then begins his story:
"When I was a young man I travelled the world: Egypt, China, Arabia, everywhere. One day I found a magic lamp and a genie granted me 3 wishes.
'Really?' I said. 'Anything?'
'Anything,' said the genie.
'Okay,' I said. 'First wish... I wish I had a wallet that always had a thousand dollars in it.'
'Granted,' said the genie."
"Wait, wait," interrupts the bartender. "You don't expect me to believe that?"
"Are you kidding? My head's a fucking orange!" snaps the man with the orange head. But just to prove it, he pulls out a worn wallet and slaps ten $100 notes on the bar. The bartender shuts up and the guy with the orange head continues.
"For my second wish, I asked to be irresistible to women."
"Bullshit," says the bartender.
The guy looks across the bar at a beautiful woman he's never met and says, "Hey, baby, want to go home with me tonight?"
The woman squeals with delight, nods, rushes over, buys him a drink, and hangs off him lovingly. She doesn't even seem to notice that half of his head is a piece of fruit. Awed, the bartender pours another round, and asks in a hushed voice, "So... your face... your head... the third wish?"
The man nods and downs another shot of whiskey.
"What happened?" whispered the bartender, leaning forward.
"For my third wish..." whispers the man. "...I wished... that half of my head... were a giant orange."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm digging this extremely irresistible woman
They really do bury them six feet underground.
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp.
"This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.
"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now."
He gets his Coke and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish.
"I wish I'd never have to work again."
Instantly, he was back in his government office.
