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Iron Jokes

174 iron jokes and hilarious iron puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about iron that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you love funny low-iron jokes? This article has the best collection of puns and wordplay about all things iron-related, from pumpin' iron to a waffle iron to cast iron to a 1 iron – even a curling iron or a corrugated iron sheet. Whether you're an Avenger, an Ironman, or a fan of potassium-rich foods, you'll love these iron jokes!

Funniest Iron Short Jokes

Short iron jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The iron humour may include short steel jokes also.

  1. What weigh more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman? The woman. They always lie about their weight.
  2. The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
  3. So I heard that the hacker "Anonymous" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda... Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!
  4. So, Anonymous has declared war on ISIS ... ironic that 72 virgins are now attacking the terrorists
  5. It's ironic that Pistorius will wake up this morning and there really will be a burglar using his toilet.
  6. What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? The first is a super hero, the other is simply a command.
    PS: It's a joke, women are awesome.
  7. My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of irony... ...which was ironic because we were at a train station
  8. My friend told me I don't know what irony is... Which is ironic, because we were at a bus stop.
  9. The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is... If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
  10. A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.

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Iron One Liners

Which iron one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with iron? I can suggest the ones about metal and ferrous.

  1. The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.
  2. Iron Man is a very confusing character. I know he's a guy but he could've been Fe Male.
  3. Shouldn't Iron man be a woman? After all he is a Fe-Male.
  4. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
  5. Why can't two women play monopoly together? There's only one iron.
  6. What's black and screams Stevie wonder answering the iron
  7. Iron Man is technically a FEmale. I will downvote myself on the way out....
  8. I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor. Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
  9. Why is Communism one of the most ironic words? It's Capitalized
  10. If Iron Man and the silver Surfer Joined Forces They would become alloys
  11. Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA... Avengers... Assemble
  12. I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists I am conflicted
  13. What is the gender of Iron Man? Fe Male
  14. What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
  15. Why does everyone in the MCU wear wrinkled shirts? Because they lost their Iron, Man.

Iron Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny iron man jokes and even better iron man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command.
  • What's the difference between iron man and aluminum man" Iron man stops bad guys. Aluminum man foils their plans.
  • A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..." "That she was killed by a giant crab."
  • What is the difference between Aluminum-man and Iron man? Aluminum-man will try to foil your plans.
  • What do Iron man and Sarah Palin have in common? They both had a little Downey inside of them.
  • What's Iron Man's gender? FeMale
  • Most people don't realize that Iron Man.. Is a Fe-male.
  • What do you call Iron Man's transgender cousin? Fe-male
  • Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range... But it wasn't his strong suit
  • What do you call a man made out of iron A Fe-male

Cast Iron Jokes

Here is a list of funny cast iron jokes and even better cast iron puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I recently came out as pansexual. But I'm only attracted to cast iron.
    I've tried dating teflon, but it never sticks.
    I guess it's true what they say:
    "Once you go black, you never go back"
  • What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan? Cast Iron.
  • Rumor has it Marvel is gonna make a movie about Iron Woman The cast will have a FeMale.
  • We were talking about cast iron pans and my brain sprang into disfunction I like my women like my cast iron cookware.
    Black, thick and covered in oil.
  • What is a chefs favorite earth spell? Cast iron
  • I heard they were considering having Tony Hawk take over the role of Iron Man. Sounds like stunt casting to me, honestly.
  • What's a pan that likes to go fishing? A cast iron.
    (Pretty sure a million people have said this joke before but I suddenly thought of it the other day)
  • George foreman sells a grill, what does the iron shiek sell? Cast iron sheik skillets.
  • What's black and hard? Cast iron.
  • I s**... identify as a pansexual And I have a f**... for cast-iron
Iron joke, I s**... identify as a pansexual

Iron Deficiency Jokes

Here is a list of funny iron deficiency jokes and even better iron deficiency puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Every time someone comments on my wrinkly clothes I just tell them that I have an iron deficiency. Yep. I do that.
  • Imagine Iron Man having an iron deficiency That would be ironic.
  • An iron deficient... An iron deficient female is just a male.
  • What do you call Matthew Broderick after he takes his Iron deficiency pills? Ferrous Bueller
  • My doctor said I had an iron deficiency and I asked him how he could tell. He pointed at my crinkled shirt.
  • Iron deficiency gang please stand up >!not too fast though.!<
  • Iron Deficiency gang rise up! But not too fast...
  • What do you call a golfer who hasn't enough clubs? Iron deficient.
  • What do you call IronMan with an iron deficiency? An ironic situation.
  • My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I'm low on iron My buddy told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty other deficiency."

1 Iron Jokes

Here is a list of funny 1 iron jokes and even better 1 iron puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why should you use a 1 iron during a thunder storm Even god couldn't hit a one iron
  • Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just 1 alloy? What a steel!
  • Golfing in a Thunderstorm What should you do if it starts to thunder while you are playing golf?
    Get out your 1 iron and hold it up to the sky, because even god can't hit a 1 iron.
  • It's ironic that Russell Wilson and Ciara are dating ...to win the Super Bowl, all his team needed was 1 or 2 steps
  • There are 3 types of comments I hate. 1. Unrelated ones.
    2. Lists.
    3. Ironical.

Low Iron Jokes

Here is a list of funny low iron jokes and even better low iron puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The wife said she was feeling light-headed from a low iron level To help her, I've raised the ironing board to a more suitable height.
  • Low iron gang rise! But not too quickly
  • How did Superman turn into Iron man? The Man of Steel went on a low-carb diet.
  • What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school? Ferrous Bueller's Day Off
Iron joke, What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Iron Jokes

What funny jokes about iron you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean silver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make iron pranks.

The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Helen: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Helen: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Helen: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Helen: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Helen: "The third reason is that I am better at s**... than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Helen: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So, how much do you want?"

A plane is about to c**......

A plane is going down and about to c**... when a woman suddenly leaps from her seat and screams,"If I'm going to die, I want to feel like a woman before I do!" She rips all her clothes off and screams,"Who here is man enough to make me feel like a true woman?"
A man stands up and calmly says OK. He unbuttons his shirt, takes it off, hands it to her and says,"Here. Iron this."

Isn't it somewhat ironic that a woman who.

hasn't been clean for years managed to die in a bath?

2 "black" questions that aren't racist.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What's black and screaming? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

A plane above the ocean is crashing

A woman in this plane knew she was going to die so she got up and shouted "Before I die I want someone to make me feel like a woman"
A couple rows down a man got up, took off his shirt and said "Here iron this"

Can you think of something more ironic than being a gay chiropractor?

Choosing a career in which your job is to make people straight again.

As airplanes about to c**......

As an airplane is about to c**..., a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

A guy walks into work...

And both ears are bandaged.
The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss responds "we'll that explains one ear, but what happened to the other?"
And the guy responds "Well, I had to call the doctor!"

Why was the Berlin Wall torn down?

It didn't match with the Iron Curtains.

How ironic is it...

to die in the living room?

What do you call a coked-up Iron Man?

Steel Man.

How do hair stylists get in shape?

Curling Iron.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark n**....

If Silver Surfer and Iron man...

If Silver Surfer and Iron man began working together, they'd be alloys

A plane was going down....

A plane was going down and the captain said to the passengers "I'm sorry everyone we are going to c**... in a few minutes" The passengers looked at each other in fear. One woman got out of her seat and yelled "Before I die I want a man to make me feel like a real woman!" a man a few rows back got out of his seat and said "I will!" she smiled and ran up to him. He then took his shirt off and said "Here, iron this"

What do you call Dora the Explorer in an Iron Man suit?

FeDora
I'll see myself out.

Why do we need iron in our diets?

Because it's good ferrous.

Iron Man is a super hero...

Iron woman is a command.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO
Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up.

They'd be strong alloys.

Johnny burned both of his ears

Johnny burned both of his ears. So the doctor asked him at the hospital how it happened.
Johnny: I was ironing my shirt and the phone rang. So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear.
Doctor: How the heck did you burn the other ear?
Johnny: They called back.

What's Iron Man's favorite carnival ride?

The ferrous wheel.

My parents were in the iron and steel industry...

My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.

ilove my family...

For his birthday, I gave my son an iPhone.
My daughter received an iPod for hers.
For my birthday, I was pleased to receive an iPad.
My mother was given an iMac for her birthday.
Thinking along the same lines, I got my wife an iRon. And that's when the fight started…

What did Iron Man say when War Machine asked to come with him to the future?

Rhodes? Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes.

A guy walks into his office with both his ears bandaged up

A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, What happened to your ears?
He says, Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron.
The boss says, Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?
He says, Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!

I lost my dishwasher, washingmashine, dryer, iron, stove, and vacumcleaner today.

Her f**... will be this saturday.

A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital

She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.
"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.
"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'hello?'"
"But what happened to your other ear?"
"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?"

My whole family loves iron

It runs in our blood.

A plane was about to c**..., and a woman stood up, took off her top, and exclaimed "Before this plane goes down, is there a man on board who will make me feel like a woman before I die!?"

A man stood up, took off his shirt and threw it at her, and said
"Here, iron this!"

What is iron man without his suit?

Stark n**....

What do you call a line of iron cats?

A Feline...

Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers

throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?

I told Iron Man to break a leg, he tripped and broke his leg.

Oh the iron knee.
Note: I'm r**... and don't know 100% what irony is so this might make no sense.

An old blacksmith ...

... realised that soon he would not be able to work so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

A plane is about to c**...

A female passenger gets up and frantically announces, "if I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "here iron this."

It's quite ironic that "s**..."…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

What's black and loud?

Stevie Wonder answering an iron.

If Ironman and Silver Surfer teamed up

They would be alloys

"Do Not only strike while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking."-Oliver Cromwell

Tried this on my girlfriend, now I'm going to jail.

Isn't It Ironic?

My wife was trying to explain to me that I didn't know what irony meant, which was ironic because I had just taken a shower.

Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?

As an airplane is about to c**..., a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

John: Carl, why do you have a bandage on your ear?

Carl: I was ironing my shirts and my phone rang. I picked up the iron instead of the the phone and burned my ear.
John: I get that. But why do you have a bandage on the other ear?
Carl: Well, the phone rang again.

There is at least one great philosophy in each of Brad Bird's films

The Incredibles: "When everyone's special, nobody is."
Ratatouille: "Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere."
The Iron Giant: "Screw our country, I want to live."

The irony of the fat acceptance movement...

is the inheirant lack of movement.

What do you call a woman in an Iron Man suit?

Fe-Male

A man went into the doctors with both ears severely burned...

The doctor said 'Christ man, how did you manage that?!'
The man replied 'Well, I was doing the ironing when I suddenly heard the phone ring. I can't believe that I did this, but I accidentally pressed the iron to my ear instead of the phone!'
The doctor thought for a moment and said 'that explains one ear, but how did you burn the other one?'
The man replied 'Well, I burned that one trying to call an ambulance!'

[OC] What's the most ironic amusement park ride?

The ferrous wheel.

My husband cheated

I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.
Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.

What happened when tge Silver Surfer met Iron Man?

They became alloys!

What is Ironman underneath the suit?

Stark n**....

How can you potentially kill someone with some Potassium, Nickel & Iron

With a KNiFe

Ironically, w**... and Buzz ...

were also the names of Andy's Mum's toys.

It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom...

... unless they're flashing behind you.

Captain Marvel wasn't the first standalone female superhero...

Iron man was, because he's Fe-Male

It's ironic Whitney Houston did all those Pepsi endorsements

Then over dosed on Coke

Know what's ironic?

A computer asking me if I'm a robot.

My grandfather told me this one

Doctor: "so tell me, how did you burn your ear?"

Patient: "I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang, and instead of picking up the phone I put the iron to my ear"
Doctor: "so how did your other ear burn?"
Patient: "well I had to call an ambulance didn't I?"

Iron Man stands in front of his magic mirror one morning,

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ferrous of them all?"

Iron joke, Iron Man stands in front of his magic mirror one morning,

jokes about iron