Irishman Bar Jokes
121 irishman bar jokes and hilarious irishman bar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about irishman bar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Irishman Bar Short Jokes
Short irishman bar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The irishman bar humour may include short irish pub jokes also.
- An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...
The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. - An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Northern Irishman walk into a bar The Englishman wants to leave, so they all have to.
- An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go.
- An Englishman walks into a bar... There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the rugby World Cup.
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and says... What is this, some kind of joke?
- A Greek, an Irishman and a portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German.
- An Irishman walks into a bar .... An Irishman walks into a bar full of Englishmen. Looks around, and then says:
"Right, this looks like a fair fight." - An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar When the Englishman wanted to leave everybody had to
- Here's a little joke that I remembered from a while back: So this Irishman walks out of a bar
- An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
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Irishman Bar One Liners
Which irishman bar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with irishman bar? I can suggest the ones about an irishman walks into a bar and irish man.
- I have an Irish joke to tell. An Irishman walks out of a bar
- I want to see if this Irish joke translates An Irishman walks out of a bar.
- An Irishman walks out of a bar Nah, just kidding
- An Irishman walks out of a bar Hey, it could happen...
- An Irishman walks out of a bar.... That's the joke
- An Irishman walked out of a bar. Seriously, it actually happened.
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk in to a bar... Those were the days.
- So this Irishman walks out of a bar... No seriously, it can happen
- An Irishman walks past the bar That's it.
- The Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman … …dont walk into a bar.
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar They missed the door.
- So an Irishman... ... walks out of a bar.
- A perfect St patty's day joke An Irishman leaves the bar
- An Irishman walks into a bar ...no surprises there.
- Why did the Irishman leave the bar? there was a better one across the street
Irishman Bar Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about irishman bar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean irish drink jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make irishman bar pranks.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...
...they each order a pint. The Englishman gets his beer, looks at it and sees a fly in it. He immediately pushes the drink aside and demands a fresh pint. The Scotsman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He calmly picks the fly out, flicks it aside and enjoys his drink. Finally, the Irishman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He pulls it out, holds it by the wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you thief!"
Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub
Australian, Englishman and Irishman man are sitting in a Pub with cold beers and all are relaxed.
Aussie says "Great, but back home there is a bar where the barman buys you your 5th beer once you've bought your fourth"
Well, says the Englishman, "back in Manchester my local has a buy 2 and get one for free policy".
Aah! says the Irishman, "in Dublin there's a bar where you get free drinks as soon as you walk in and they keep them coming all evening.Then they take you upstairs and you get non stop s**... all night".
"What, youve actually experienced this yourself"? asks the Aussie.
Well "no" says the Irishman "but me sister has"!
Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar
.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
The Irishman swore every word was true.
"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.
"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
Irish pubs are the best
As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in Cork at my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of these claims. The Irishman swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times
An Englishman, American and Irishman walk into a bar.
All three of them order a beer. The Englishman sees a fly floating in his beer and calls the bartender over and demands a new beer. The American also sees a fly floating in his beer and just flicks it away and drinks the beer. The Irishman sees a fly in his beer also and picks it up and screams "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Irishman in confession
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."
A group of people walk into a bar...
An Irishman, a rabbi, a Japanese man, a blind man and a boat captain walk into a bar. The bartender asks "is this some kind of a joke?"
A man walks into a bar......
An Irishman man walks into a bar in New York City. He orders three whiskeys. The bartender pours him one and says, "Lemme know when you want the next one." But the man says, "I think you've misunderstood me. I'd like all three at once." The bartender pours two more drinks. The man drinks down the three drinks, pays, and leaves.
This goes on almost every night for a couple of weeks. Finally the bartender asks the man why he orders three drinks at a time, since there's no real advantage to it. So the man tells him, "When I left the auld sod I promised my two brothers that whenever I sat down to take a taste of the creature, I'd order one for me and one for each of them. That's why I order three at once." It makes sense to the bartender, so he's satisfied.
The man keeps coming back almost every night for more than a year. He and the bartender get to know each other pretty well. Then one day, the man orders only two drinks. This goes on for a couple weeks, but the bartender is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the brothers. Finally, the man comes into the bar and only orders two drinks, again. The bartender figures he has to ask, and summons up the courage to say, "I noticed you've been ordering only two drinks for the last few weeks. Is everything allright with your brothers?" The man looks at the bartender, puzzled, then realizes what he is implying. He smiles and says, "Yes! My brothers are fine, but I've given up drinking for Lent."
An Irish man is sitting in a bar drinking
A flamboyantly gay man comes up to him and asks, "Can I give you a b**...?"
The Irishman stands up and punches the gay man.
The bar tender comes over and asks, "Why did you hit that guy?"
The Irish man replied, "He said somethin' about me gettin' a job"
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar...
... and each order a beer. As the beers are set down on the table three flies fly into the bar and land in the beer, one in each glass. The Englishman pushes his beer away and orders another. The Irishman blows the foam off the top of his beer along with the fly and drinks the beer. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and says "Alrright ya wee bastarrd, spit it out."
A Jew, a mathematician and an Irishman enter a bar
Bartender says: "How did you all land up in the wrong joke?"
An Irishman walks into a bar, carrying a penguin under his right arm....
A crocodile on a leash in his left hand, and a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bartender and says "I'll have three pints of Guinness please".
The bartender looks at the Irishman.
Looks at the penguin.
Looks at the crocodile.
Looks at the parrot.
Looks back to the Irishman and says,
"What's all this supposed to be then? Some kind of joke?"
A doctor, an Englishman, a lawyer, an Irishman, a priest, a Scotsman, a cop, a midget, a fireman and a blonde walk into a bar....
The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
My friend from Turkey had never heard a blonde joke. This was his attempt at telling one.
A blonde walks into a bar and sits down next to an Englishman, Irishman, and German. They turn to her and say, "Are you new here?"
An Irishman and an Englishman are sitting in a bar.
The Irishman raises his shotglass and announces, "If it weren't for whisky, the Irish would rule all the world!"
The Englishman raises his glass and replies, "If it weren't for whisky, the Irish would rule all of Ireland."
Three guys walk into a bar
Three guys walk into a bar
A mexican
A Jew
and an Irishman
the irishman says something foolish i cant remember!
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a bar...
...and each take a seat and order a beer. When the Englishman gets his beer, he sees a fly floating in it, and politely asks for a different brew. The Scotsman, intrigued by this, looks into his beer and also notices a fly in it. He shrugs and picks it out. When the Irishman's beer arrives, also containing one fly, he's had enough. He picks up the fly, holds it very close to his mouth, and says...
"Spit it out, lad, spit it all out!"
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are drinking in a bar...
-You know - says the Englishman - I have 10 sons. That is almost a soccer team.
-That's nothing. - says the Irishman - I have 14 sons. That is almost a rugby team.
-Well - says the Scotsman - I have 17 daughters. That is almost a golf course.
what's the difference between an Irishman and a lawyer?
an Irishman would never pass the bar
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Welshman walk into a bar...
but none of them are xenophobic, so they all have a wonderful time.
A Scotsman walks into a bar..
..the Welshman, Northern Irishman and the Englishman were meant to tag along but they went to the Euros.
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
An Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew are sitting at a bar
What a fine example of an integrated community.
I found myself in a pub in Cork, Ireland.
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, "Hey y**..., is yer bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000 ."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
OK y**..., pay up." said the Irishman.
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
"Well sir", replied the Irishman, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it.
An Irishman's First Drink With His Son
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it - so I drank it.
Then I got him an Old Style. He didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .
I could hardly push his stroller back home.
A Scotsman walks into a bar..
Normally there is a Welshman, Irishman and Englishman, but they're all in Marseille at the Euro's.
A Scotsman walks into a bar
usually he is with an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman but they are all in France for the Euros.
Scotsman in a bar
A Scotsman walks in to a bar there would have been a Welshman, an Englishman and 2 Irishman but they all got into the Euros.
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
Then a few decades later they walk out again squabbling among themselves.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman all walk into a bar...
The Englishman needed to drink to forget the pain.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...
the Welshman's not there because he's still at the Euros.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Spaniard walk into a bar..
The Icelander couldn't come because he was still at the European Cup
A man walks out of a bar...
He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...
An Englishman, Scottishman, Irishman, Welshman, Frenchman, Russian, Spaniard, Mexican, American, Norweigan, Swede, Albanian, Italian, Indian, Moroccan, Dutchman, Brazilian, Kenyan, Australian and Belgian walk into a bar.
The barman says; "You can't come in here without a Thai."
A bar is burning to the ground, and a team of firefighters rush in to put it out.
A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in"
A Scotsman, an Irishman, and a Welshman enter a bar...
After a lot of fighting and harsh words 3 English-men walk out.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman...
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman meet by chance in a tavern. After a brief but vicious scuffle, they all agree to put their differences aside and work together...to beat up the Irishman tending the bar.
An American, an Irishman, and a Frenchman all go into a bar
They each order one beer from the barkeep, and shortly after he returns with their beers, a fly lands in each of their beers. The Frenchman cries out in disgust and demands a new beer. The American picks the fly out of his drink and starts to sip at his beer. The Irishman picks the fly out and starts to shout Spit it out!!"
An British man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar
The Irishman says 'Hey, is this some kind of joke?'
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman all walk into a bar
the barman looks up at them, shakes his head and says "is this some kind of a joke?"
Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar
As soon as they sit down the barman asks: "Is this a joke?"
A Frenchman, a German, and an Irishman walk into a bar
They order a round of whiskey.
However, when the drinks arrive, there are flies at the bottom of each of the glasses.
The Frenchman, clearly disgusted, asks for another drink.
The German is thirsty, and decides to drink it anyway.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pulls out the fly, and screams
"Spit it out. SPIT IT OUT!"
A priest....
A priest, an Irishman, a horse, a gorilla, a twelve inch pianist and an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke?"
An Irishman walks into a bar.
An Irishman walks into a bar. The bartender says "Where you from?"
Irishman says "Dublin"
Bartender: "oh really?"
Irishman: "No, O'Reilly."
Any Irishman and a Scott have a duel at a bar...
The irishman exclaims, "You Scottish can't drink! We Irish are the best drinkers!"
Scott exclaims, "Ye don no wha ye takin boot! Any scott can drink any irishman under ye table!"
The two drink to the early morning. Who wins?
The bartender.
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott go to a bar..
Bartender: What is this? Some kinda joke?
A rabbi, an irishman, a travelling salesman, and a cowboy walk into a bar.
The bartender asks them "what is this, some kind of joke?"
Irishman and the fire
Firemen receive a call that the local bar is on fire. They rush over to the local bar and sure enough, the whole bar is aflame.
They sweep into the burning bar to check for survivors and find a man face down on the floor. They pull him from the flames, soot-ridden and unconscious, they slap him awake.
"What happened! How did the fire start?!" they ask him.
"How should I know?" says the Irishman. "It was already on fire when I went in.."
An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys.
The barman asks: "Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?"
The Irishman replies: "No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both."
The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.
The barman asks: "Did something happen one of your brothers?" "Oh no," replies the Irishman. "I just decided to quit drinking!"
An irish man frees a genie
and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes.
The Irishman thinks about it, and says "I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty."
So *p**...* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it back on the bar, it's filled up again.
"So, what would you like for your other two wishes, sir?"
"I want two more of these, then!"
An Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman enter a brand new bar.
The Englishman and Scotsman loved it, the Irishman was blown away.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
He immediately unleashes a vicious roundhouse kick, decapitating a rabbi, a priest, and a Buddhist in one blow. At the next table, he beard-punches a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, killing all three. Three bouncers, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Pollack, were dismembered in seconds.
Chuck Norris' has only 1 weakness: He can't tell a joke.
An italian, an Irishman, a German, a talking dog,
a lesbian, a cowboy, the pope, a gambling midget, the president, and a ten inch pianist all walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at all of them and says:
"What is this, a joke?"
An Irishman walks into a bar.....
Paudie goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one Guinness.
The barman lines up shots and goes to get the Guinness.
When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone.
The barman says: Wow! You sure drank those fast.
Paudie explains: "You would drink fast too if you had what I have.
The barman asks: What do you have?
The guy reaches into his pocket and says: Fifty cents!
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
A German, Italian, And Irishman are sitting at a bar...
when 3 flies fly into the room and into the 3 drinks.
The German puts down the drink, and says "i cant drink this!'
the Italian takes out the fly, and says "that's good enough for me" and continues drinking.
The Irishman starts vigorously shaking the fly, and yells "SPIT IT ALL OUT!!"
McPherson walked into a bar...
McPherson walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"Excuse me," said another bar patron, who was puzzled over what McPherson had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife sent me out for a jar of olives.
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a whale walk into a bar,
The Irishman says, "give me an Irish whiskey." The bartender gives him one and he sits down to drink it.
The Mexican says, "I'll have tequila." The bartender gives him a tequila and he sits down to drink it.
Then the whale says, "WAAOOAOOOO" because whales don't talk.
Two guys walk into a bar...
They look around, and see that at one table, there's a rabbi, a priest, and an imman. At another there's an Irishman, a Scottsman, and a Brit. At a third there's a blonde, a brunette, and a readhead. Up at the bar, sits a dog with a bandaged paw.
Guy looks to his friend and says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?'
I was once at a bar with an Irishman.
He told me that Irish beer is far better than other beer because it get him drunk the fastest.
Personally, I disagree, but he raises a good pint.
An English, Scot, Welsh and Irishman walk into a bar.
Then they all had to leave because the Englishman voted to.
An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar
The bartender says
"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"
A joke for St Patrick's Day. "An Irishman walks out of a bar."
Well, theoretically, it could happen...
The best beer in the world
An American, a Duchman and an Irishman walked into a bar. Ill have a Budweiser, the best beer in the world, said the American. Ill have a Heineken, said the Dutchman, the ONLY beer in the world. The Irishman yawned and said, Oh, I guess Ill just have a glass of water like these girls are having.
An Englishman, and Irishman...
, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Scot, a Mexican, an, African, a Portuguese, a Swede, a German, and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
I'm sorry, says the maître'D, But you can't come in here without a Thai.
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar...
Lucky b**...
An Englishman, Scotsman, and an Irishman cross over the road and go into a bar to change the lightbulb.
That's all I've got so far, but I think it shows potential.
An Irishman, a Frenchman, two conspiracy theorists, a priest, three cheerleaders, Elon Musk, an atheist and a rabbi walked into a bar.
Ah, the good old days.