ireland mates Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious ireland mates puns

Irish cream

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, So they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but no matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull. The people were very upset and decided to go to The Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. " The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this Before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland . "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ? The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland "

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Two men walk into a bar..

And after a few rounds the first man turned to the second and asked, "where you from?" The second man replied, "Ireland!" Excited, the first man said, "bloody hell, thats whers I'm from, lets have a toast to Ireland!" After a few more rounds, the first man turned to second and asked, "where in Ireland are ya from?" To which the second replied, "Dublin mate." Once again, the first man excitedly said, "bloody hell, that's where I'm from, lets have a toast to Dublin!" After a few more rounds the first man asked once more, "hey mate, where'd ya go to school?" To which the second man said, "St. Mary's." The first man raised his glass and said, "that's where I went, lets have a toast to St. Mary's!" The bartender turned to a now bewildered patron, and said, "jesus christ the O'Malleys are at it again!"

Heard this one from one of my irish cousins, happ st paddys day!

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There was this guy living in Ireland who wanted to have the operation to become Irish

He had lived in Ireland for about 10 years and loved the place and its people so he went to the doctor and said he wanted to have the operation to become Irish.

The doctor warned him saying This is very dangerous, I have to remove half your brain .

The guy was very adamant and said he wanted to do it.

Next week he goes for surgery. After 5 hours he wakes up. He can see the doctor standing over him looking very worried.

The doctor says I am really sorry, the surgery went terribly wrong, I ended up having to remove your entire brain

The guy looks at him and replies Crickey mate, no worries!


-- as an Ozzy I love telling this to my Irish mates as they get really offended halfway through

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What are the most funny Ireland Mates jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Ireland Mates? Well, here are the best Ireland Mates dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Ireland Mates pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes