Irate Jokes

36 irate jokes and hilarious irate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about irate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Irate Short Jokes

Short irate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The irate humour may include short riot jokes also.

  1. I have heard that a pirate's favorite letter is "R" or sometimes "C"... but when I took one's "P" away they became irate.
  2. Why do pirates leave the bathroom angry? Because after the Pee is gone, they're just Irate.
  3. What's a pirates favorite letter? *arrrrrrr?*
    you'd think that but it's actually P, because with out it they'd just be irate.
  4. What is a pirates favourite letter? 'P', because when they don't have one they become irate.
  5. Last night I slept with a married woman while her husband was black out drunk in the same room... I awoke to a pee-filled bed and one irate wife.
  6. What's the difference between the guy who had his stuff stolen and the guy who stole it? One was irate and the other was a pirate!
  7. Today an irate motorist at a stop light yelled at me saying, "YOU GOTTA GET BACK!" To which I screamed back at the top of my lungs, "BACK TO THE PAST, SAMURAI JACK!" and sped off onto the highway.
  8. Irate supporters of Donald Trump wanted to boycott the musical "Hamilton"... But they couldn't find any tickets not to buy for at least 10 months.
  9. What are a pirate's favorite letters? The first that comes to mind is R, but their first love be the C! They are also partial to the P, because without it they are irate.
  10. What do you call an angry pirate? P-irate

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Irate One Liners

Which irate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with irate? I can suggest the ones about ripper and crew.

  1. What's a pirates favourite letter? P, because without it they're irate
  2. What is a pirate's favorite letter? P
    Without a P, he is irate.
  3. Do pirates care when you take a pee? Yes, they become irate.
  4. Why do pirates get angry after going to the bathroom? Without their P they're irate
  5. Did you hear about the pirate who couldn't go to the bathroom? He was irate.
  6. If you are on a pirate ship, what happens if you take a pee? The captain becomes irate.
  7. Why do pirates always need the letter P Because without it they would be irate
  8. Why was the 'P' irate? Because his peg leg made him go 'R'
  9. An irate man was playing the fiddle He was playing a bunch of mad notes
  10. What letter of the alphabet do pirates hate the most? P, it makes them irate!
  11. What do you call an angry pirate? A Pirate (A mix between Pirate and Irate)
  12. What does a movie critic say when he's mad? Irate.
  13. What do you call an angry seafaring criminal? An irate pirate.
  14. Why's the pirate irate? He's gotta P.
  15. Why are pirates always angry when they go to the restroom? Because they p-irate.

Irate joke, Why are pirates always angry when they go to the restroom?

Cheeky Irate Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about irate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean raid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make irate pranks.

An irate woman bursts through the doors of a bar, angrily screaming, "All lawyers are a**...!" This enrages a patron at the end of the bar, who stands up and shouts, "Hey! I take offense to that!"

"Why?" she asks, sneering at him, "You a lawyer or something?"
"No," he retorts, "I'm an a**...!"

A man walks into a fish & chip shop to order the evening meal.

He asks for two cod & chips.
Owner: Apologies, we don't have any cod.
Man: Ok… I'll have two cod & chips then.
Owner (slightly irritated): Sorry, we haven't got any cod, like I said.
Man: Sorry, sorry!… I'll just have two cod & chips then.
Owner (now irate): Look mate, we've got no cod! C-O-F-D COD!!
Man (confused): There is no F in cod.
Owner: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Well, some people think its 'R', but that's just a hurtful stereotype.
Other people say that their true love is the 'C' which I can certainly understand...
But I find that it's actually the letter 'P', cause without it they're just irate.

A man walks up to a counter and says . . .

A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."

Dog at the bar

A man's sitting next to a dog at the bar
Woman walks in, "Is your dog friendly? I'm a dog lover, can I pet him?"
Man replies "sure"
Dog proceeds to bite woman
Irate woman to the man, "I thought you said your dog was friendly! "
Man replies, "That aint my dog"

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub...

... when an irate Irishman stands up: "You're making' out we're all dumb and s**.... I oughta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir, I..." "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Not, not "Argh." Too obvious.
Not the "C" either. Everyone has heard that one.
"Without a P he's irate hahahahaha!" Blah blah blah. Nope.
Give up?
A letter of marque. It makes his profession semi legitimate, provides for a legal way to store his wealth in his homeland, and allows him to attain social prestige far above his station if successful enough.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

A husband forgot his wedding anniversary..

His wife was irate. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to see a gift in the driveway that goes 0-100 in two seconds.. AND IT BETTER BE THERE"
The next morning when she woke up, she looked out the window to find a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it, and found a brand new pair of bathroom scales.

A guy is record shopping at a local music store…

and goes up to the clerk and says I'm looking for that classic 90s Seattle grunge sound on vinyl if you carry it. Clerk says reluctantly, I'm sorry the only styles we carry are children's, Christian, classical, or folk. The man looks puzzled and becomes a tad irate. He responds back saying, You mean to tell me that the only categories you carry here are children's, Christian, classical, or folk? The cashier looks at the guy and says, Well yeah, there's no alternative.

Irate woman to bus driver as she enters. 'what bus is this' driver 'its number 15 just like it says on the front'. irate woman 'but on the front it says 15, on the side 15a, and on the back 155' . Bus driver

'well I'm not driving backwards or sideways am i?'

Irate joke, Why do pirates always need the letter P