The Best 62 Iraq Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Iraq jokes. There are some iraq pakistan jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these iraq baghdad puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Iraq Jokes and Puns

Son In Iraq I killed 15 people.

Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic

Dad:Never said I was a good one

A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied,

"Thanks for the Baghdad"

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Did you know?

Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as "The Sims."

jokes about iraq

George W. Bush and Karl Rove are talking...

Karl Rove walks into the Oval Office and says "Mr. President, I have some bad news. Four Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq" The president buries his head in his hands, crying "no! No! No! That's awful, that's terrible...." He pauses, collects himself, and says "wait.... How many is a Brazilian?"


Brazillian

So it's 2004 and the War in Iraq is raging on.

President Bush calls Sec. Rumsfeld into the Oval Office to discuss the campaign.

Rumsfeld begins by saying, "Sir, there have been no American deaths today. But we do have word that 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."

Much Rumsfeld's surprise, President Bush begins crying and banging his hands on the desk in the office.

Rumsfeld says, "Sir, what's wrong?"

Bush replies under his heavy sobs, "Exactly how many is a Brazillian?"

So George W. Bush is in his office..

when his secretary of defense walks in, "we lost 2 Brazilians in Iraq today."
GW puts his head in his hands looks up very sullen and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Iraq joke, So George W. Bush is in his office..

LAPD Sent to Train Iraqi Police, Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Within 2 months of being in Iraq to help train Iraqi Police recruits the LAPD sent the following message up to Army command:

It's over. We have weapons of mass destruction, need guidance on who we are supposed to find them on.

Edit* changed were to are

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when...

...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.

He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."

Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.

The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.

Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"

George Bush was receiving his daily report from his Defense Secretary.

During the report, the secretary said; And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. George suddenly went pale, put his head in his hands and began to sweat profusely.

His staff was astounded. They had never seen the president react like this to such a small loss. Then, after he had recovered slightly, the president brought his head up and quietly asked the aide next to him, "Just how many in a brazilian?"

A man ordered two drinks at once every day...

The bartenders curiosity got the better of him, and he asked "Why not just get a double?"
The man answered "I'm drinking one for myself and one for my buddy that didn't make it back from Iraq."
After a couple of months, the man started ordering just one drink. The nosy bartender asked what's up.
"My doctor told me I have to quit drinking."

You can explore iraq kabul reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean iraq tehran dad jokes. There are also iraq puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


George Bush sits in his office during the Iraq War.

During a meeting with the cabinet, his aide walks up to him and says "Mr. President, we've just received word that twelve Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq."

George puts his head in his hands and is visibly shaken by the news.

He looks up at the shocked cabinet members and asks "How many is a brazillion?"

What did the little Iraqi girl tell her father after he bought her a new backpack?

Thanks for the Baghdad.

why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ?

the camel would get overworked

Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?

Because they're all Targets.

Three Muslim women are sitting talking...

The first one says, "I miss my eldest son Ahmed. He was martyred in Iraq last year."
"Oh I know," says the second women, "I miss little Hamza. He drove a car-bomb into a Syrian checkpoint six months ago."
The third woman nodded, "Me too. My Omar was a suicide bomber in Gaza, so sad."
The first woman shook her head sadly. "Kids these days. They blow up so fast."

Iraq joke, Three Muslim women are sitting talking...

In Iraq why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day?

The camel gets too tired.

Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is?

Because they've been living under Iraq.

I served 2 years in Iraq

Until they shut down the restaurant


How did I get out of Iraq?

I ran

"Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq."

"Oh my god... How many is a Brazilian?"

Apparently the US government has to choose between supporting ISIS and the al-Assad regime...

I think that's called getting caught between Iraq and a hard place.

In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders..

But in Iraq, no phobia.

The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq.

The first annual Allahpalooza is sure to go off with a bang.

I feel bad for the Kurds...

They're stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

An Iraqi father gave his daughter a new bag

... She said: "thanks for the Baghdad"

Iraq joke, An Iraqi father gave his daughter a new bag

What do you call sandpaper in Iraq?

A map.

How did I get out of Iran?

Iraq.

The new Call of Duty just got released in Iraq

They call it the Sims

Note: this technically a repost


You have to wonder about a country where the bombs

... are smarter than the high school graduates. At least the bombs can find Iraq on the maps.

(quote by
Alan Whitney Brown of SNL fame)

What do you get for calling a suicide hotline in Iraq?

A job offer

Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...

- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait

1. Israel

Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.

Each person was assigned a country to report on.

Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!

Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.

With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.

Do you know why there are no Wal-Marts in Iraq?

They're all Targets.


Saudi Arabian seems really behind on the times.

It's like they're living under Iraq or something.

A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a handbag

She said thanks for the baghdad

Where was Saddam Hussein found hiding?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

What did I do when I accidentally landed in Iraq?

Iran

I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. I told the operator that lately I've been having suicidal thoughts.

Operator: "Great! Can you drive a truck?"

What did Spider-Man say when he was deployed to the Middle East?

Iraq, no phobia

How I escaped Iraq

Q: How did you escaped Iraq?

A: Iran

Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"

Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"
USA: "Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why did you attack Syria now?"
USA: "Because we suspect they have Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why didn't you attack North Korea then?"
USA: "Are you out of your mind? They really have Weapons of Mass Destruction"

What did I do when Iraq was attacked?

Iran

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq

During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"

The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."

A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"

"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"

We should have sent the Opportunity rover to Iraq

since its original mission was supposed to be 3 months but then it kept going for 14 years for no good reason

A Iraqi guy gave his daughter a bag.

She replied saying, "Thanks for the Baghdad!".

What did I do to get out of Iraq?

Iran

In Iran, everyone is so very afraid of spiders.

But in Iraq no phobia.

So my dad served in Iraq

Dad: son in Iraq I killed 15 people

Me: dad you were a helicopter mechanic

Dad: I never said I was good one

(just for record my dad didn't serve in Iraq)

How did President Bush know that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction?

Well he kept the receipts.

Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?

They're all targets!

Teacher: Who is the President of Iraq?

Teacher: Who is the President of Iraq?
Johnny: I don't know miss

Teacher: You need to focus more on your studies
Johnny: Please miss, can I ask a question?

Teacher: Yes
Johnny: Do u know Angela?

Teacher: No, Why?
Johnny: You need to focus more on your husband!

You know how I escaped from Iraq?

Iran

George W. Bush couldn't decide what country to invade next...

He says, "It seems we're stuck between Iraq and a hard place.."

In Iran, everyone is terrified of spiders, but apparently..

In Iraq no phobia..

What do you call a dad from Iraq?

Baghdaddy

Want to know how I got out of iraq?

Iran

There is one manor difference between Iraq and Iran

In Iran, everyone's afraid of spiders.

Iraq: no phobia.

Got this one from my dad, so I don't know if it's legible lol. I just thought I'd put it here.

My father went to Iraq. I miss him so much.

Please come Baghdad.

Zelensky: Why did you invade Iraq?

United States: Because we "suspected" nuclear weapons.

Zelensky: So why not attack Russia now?

United States: Because we know that Russia has nuclear weapons.

My son came to pick me up for a road trip. He had a new luggage rack on top of his car.

He said, See this, it's Iraq. It's for your Baghdad.

I was so proud.

How did George Bush know there were WMDs in Iraq?

He got the receipt. lol

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the iraq iraqi jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working iraq syriasly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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