Iraq Jokes

120 iraq jokes and hilarious iraq puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about iraq that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Iraq Short Jokes

Short iraq jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The iraq humour may include short veteran jokes also.

  1. Son In Iraq I killed 15 people. Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic
    Dad:Never said I was a good one
  2. A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied, "Thanks for the Baghdad"
  3. Zelensky: Why did you invade Iraq? United States: Because we "suspected" nuclear weapons.
    Zelensky: So why not attack Russia now?
    United States: Because we know that Russia has nuclear weapons.
  4. I told a Saudi friend my best joke and he didn't get the reference. It's like he's living under Iraq.
  5. "Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq." "Oh my god... How many is a Brazilian?"
  6. The new Call of Duty just got released in Iraq They call it the Sims
    Note: this technically a repost
  7. Saudi Arabian seems really behind on the times. It's like they're living under Iraq or something.
  8. George W. Bush couldn't decide what country to invade next... He says, "It seems we're stuck between Iraq and a hard place.."
  9. How did President Bush know that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction? Well he kept the receipts.
  10. We should have sent the Opportunity rover to Iraq since its original mission was supposed to be 3 months but then it kept going for 14 years for no good reason

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Iraq One Liners

Which iraq one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with iraq? I can suggest the ones about refugees and .

  1. Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they're all Targets.
  2. A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a handbag She said thanks for the baghdad
  3. How did I get out of Iran? Iraq.
  4. Did you know? Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as "The Sims."
  5. In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders.. But in Iraq, no phobia.
  6. You know how I escaped from Iraq? Iran
  7. How I escaped Iraq Q: How did you escaped Iraq?
    A: Iran
  8. Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is? Because they've been living under Iraq.
  9. In Iran, everyone is so very afraid of spiders. But in Iraq no phobia.
  10. Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? They're all targets!
  11. What do you call sandpaper in Iraq? A map.
  12. My father went to Iraq. I miss him so much. Please come Baghdad.
  13. I feel bad for the Kurds... They're stuck between Iraq and a hard place.
  14. What did Spider-Man say when he was deployed to the Middle East? Iraq, no phobia
  15. Where was Saddam Hussein found hiding? Between Iraq and a hard place.

Iran Iraq Jokes

Here is a list of funny iran iraq jokes and even better iran iraq puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did I do to get out of Iraq? Iran
  • What did I do when Iraq was attacked? Iran
  • What did I do when I accidentally landed in Iraq? Iran
  • In Iran, everyone is terrified of spiders, but apparently.. In Iraq no phobia..
  • People always ask me how l escaped Iraq and l always tell them the same thing... Iran
  • Want to know how I got out of iraq? Iran
  • In Iran, people are afraid of spiders... But in Iraq, no phobia
  • i got hit by iraq so iran
  • Do you know how I got from Iraq to Pakistan? Iran
  • Do you know how I got out of Iraq? Iran

Syria Iraq Jokes

Here is a list of funny syria iraq jokes and even better syria iraq puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • ISIS's New Candy Bar Line In order to shore up waning power in Syria and Iraq, ISIS put out a candy bar appealing to young Muslims. They call it the: Allahu Choklatbar! exclamation point
  • No one told him Syria borders Iraq Why did Obama provide weapons to Al-Qaeda in Syria
  • A texan r**... suddenly wants to travel to Iraq and Syria. He heard they are all yeeeehaaaw'd
Iraq joke, A texan r**... suddenly wants to travel to Iraq and Syria.

Afghanistan Iraq Jokes

Here is a list of funny afghanistan iraq jokes and even better afghanistan iraq puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan? Because there are already too many targets.
  • How did I travel from Iraq to Afghanistan?? Iran
  • How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran).
    Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.
  • I'm in the military. My friend bank home was impressed with how I traveled from Iraq to Afghanistan. I told him Iran.
  • I did two tours in Afghanistan and one in Iraq Thank you for the applause! Not enough people appreciate s**... tourists.
Iraq joke, I did two tours in Afghanistan and one in Iraq

Cheerful Iraq Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about iraq you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make iraq pranks.

I called a s**... hotline in Iraq..

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

George W. Bush and Karl Rove are talking...

Karl Rove walks into the Oval Office and says "Mr. President, I have some bad news. Four Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq" The president buries his head in his hands, crying "no! No! No! That's awful, that's terrible...." He pauses, collects himself, and says "wait.... How many is a Brazilian?"


So it's 2004 and the War in Iraq is r**... on.
President Bush calls Sec. Rumsfeld into the Oval Office to discuss the campaign.
Rumsfeld begins by saying, "Sir, there have been no American deaths today. But we do have word that 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."
Much Rumsfeld's surprise, President Bush begins crying and b**... his hands on the desk in the office.
Rumsfeld says, "Sir, what's wrong?"
Bush replies under his heavy sobs, "Exactly how many is a Brazillian?"

So George W. Bush is in his office..

when his secretary of defense walks in, "we lost 2 Brazilians in Iraq today."
GW puts his head in his hands looks up very sullen and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"

LAPD Sent to Train Iraqi Police, Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Within 2 months of being in Iraq to help train Iraqi Police recruits the LAPD sent the following message up to Army command:
It's over. We have weapons of mass destruction, need guidance on who we are supposed to find them on.
Edit* changed were to are

What do you call a person of mixed heritage from eastern Turkey/northern Iraq, and from Wisconsin?

A Cheese Kurd.

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when...

...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.
He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."
Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.
The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.
Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"

George Bush was receiving his daily report from his Defense Secretary.

During the report, the secretary said; And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. George suddenly went pale, put his head in his hands and began to sweat profusely.
His staff was astounded. They had never seen the president react like this to such a small loss. Then, after he had recovered slightly, the president brought his head up and quietly asked the aide next to him, "Just how many in a brazilian?"

A man ordered two drinks at once every day...

The bartenders curiosity got the better of him, and he asked "Why not just get a double?"
The man answered "I'm drinking one for myself and one for my buddy that didn't make it back from Iraq."
After a couple of months, the man started ordering just one drink. The nosy bartender asked what's up.
"My doctor told me I have to quit drinking."

George Bush sits in his office during the Iraq War.

During a meeting with the cabinet, his aide walks up to him and says "Mr. President, we've just received word that twelve Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq."
George puts his head in his hands and is visibly shaken by the news.
He looks up at the shocked cabinet members and asks "How many is a brazillion?"

What did the little Iraqi girl tell her father after he bought her a new backpack?

Thanks for the Baghdad.

why are s**... ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ?

the camel would get overworked

I had to make a difficult decision when arrested at the border on the way to Mecca...

I was caught between Iraq and a Hajj place.

Three Muslim women are sitting talking...

The first one says, "I miss my eldest son Ahmed. He was martyred in Iraq last year."
"Oh I know," says the second women, "I miss little Hamza. He drove a car-bomb into a Syrian checkpoint six months ago."
The third woman nodded, "Me too. My Omar was a s**... bomber in Gaza, so sad."
The first woman shook her head sadly. "Kids these days. They blow up so fast."

In Iraq why don't they teach drivers ed and s**... ed on the same day?

The camel gets too tired.

I served 2 years in Iraq

Until they shut down the restaurant

How did I get out of Iraq?

I ran

Apparently the US government has to choose between supporting ISIS and the al-Assad regime...

I think that's called getting caught between Iraq and a hard place.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is getting released for the second time in Iraq.

They're renaming the game to The Sims 5.

The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq.

The first annual Allahpalooza is sure to go off with a bang.

An Iraqi father gave his daughter a new bag

... She said: "thanks for the Baghdad"

What did the Iraqi boy say to his father when he got home from school?

I forgot my Bagdad.

The weather in England is like the Muslims in Iraq.

It's either Sunni, or Shiite.

What's the weather like in Iraq ?

Sunni in the North Shiite in the South.

An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles...

He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm.

Why isn't there a Wal-Mart in Iraq?

....because there is a target in every corner.

I met a r**... on the bus today.

"What country are you from?" I asked.
"Iraq" he said.
"How did you escape?" I asked.

You have to wonder about a country where the bombs

... are smarter than the high school graduates. At least the bombs can find Iraq on the maps.
(quote by
Alan Whitney Brown of SNL fame)

I also called a s**... hotline in Iraq...

They told me to try calling back in a few days because they already had enough volunteers for the week.

What do you get for calling a s**... hotline in Iraq?

A job offer

What does Dora say in Iraq?

s**... no Sniping

Scotland is like Iraq

A little but Sunni, but an awful lot Shiite.

My friend said he didn't know there was a war going on in the middle east...

He must have been living under *Iraq*

What's the national bird of Iraq?


Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...

- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait
1. Israel

Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project.

Each person was assigned a country to report on.
Wow! Lucy said. I got Italy!
Interesting exclaimed Linus. I got Germany.
With dismay, Charlie Brown said, I got Iraq.

Do you know why there are no Wal-Marts in Iraq?

They're all Targets.

Why are Saudi Arabians out of the loop?

Because they live under Iraq!

An Afghan soldier called me earlier and told me he was in a r**... camp...

...but when he told it to me, he said he was caught between Iraq and a hard place.

You wanna hear a geography joke?

Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"
Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"
Bob : "Yemen I know"
Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."
Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("

A hermit in the middle east has not heard about any current events.

I guess you could say he lives under Iraq.

I called the s**... hotline in Iraq. I told the operator that lately I've been having suicidal thoughts.

Operator: "Great! Can you drive a truck?"

There were too many s**... bombings happening in Iraq.

I think it is fair to call it abomination.

Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"

Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"
USA: "Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why did you attack Syria now?"
USA: "Because we suspect they have Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why didn't you attack North Korea then?"
USA: "Are you out of your mind? They really have Weapons of Mass Destruction"

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq

During inspection, he notices a camel t**... outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"
The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."
A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has s**... with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"

I was going for a walk in the desert in Afghanistan.

Off in the distance I saw what I thought was a mirage but as I got closer I could see it's wasn't a mirage, Israel.
It was two men arguing, so I tried to calm the situation down but they turned against me. The one man threw Iraq, so Iran all the way home.
Agitated by the encounter I told my wife I wanted to get revenge for the assualt, but she calmed me down and assured me it Kuwait.

A Iraqi guy gave his daughter a bag.

She replied saying, "Thanks for the Baghdad!".

So my dad served in Iraq

Dad: son in Iraq I killed 15 people
Me: dad you were a helicopter mechanic
Dad: I never said I was good one
(just for record my dad didn't serve in Iraq)

Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force... Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

Teacher: Who is the President of Iraq?

Teacher: Who is the President of Iraq?
Johnny: I don't know miss
Teacher: You need to focus more on your studies
Johnny: Please miss, can I ask a question?
Teacher: Yes
Johnny: Do u know Angela?
Teacher: No, Why?
Johnny: You need to focus more on your husband!

What do you call a dad from Iraq?


There is one manor difference between Iraq and Iran

In Iran, everyone's afraid of spiders.
Iraq: no phobia.
Got this one from my dad, so I don't know if it's legible lol. I just thought I'd put it here.

Iraq joke, There is one manor difference between Iraq and Iran

jokes about iraq