Invisible Man Jokes
84 invisible man jokes and hilarious invisible man puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about invisible man that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Invisible Man Short Jokes
Short invisible man jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The invisible man humour may include short invisible woman jokes also.
- My dad dressed up as The Invisible Man today He's had the costume on for the last 20 years
- A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ..."there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"
Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today." - Invisible man Invisible man goes to the doctor.
Doctor says "I can't see you right now."
-Christ Novacelic, Reading 1992 - How do you know that the Invisible Man doesn't have any children? Because he's not apparent.
- We tried to hire an invisible man. He didn't want the job because he couldn't see himself working here.
- I heard an invisible man has started an Instagram account modelling formal wear. I might follow suit.
- A man was sent to the hospital as he kept yelling that he is now invisible They shifted him to ICU
- An invisible man broke up with his invisible girlfriend... He didn't think they should see each other anymore.
- A doctors secretary walks into the doctors office and says " doctor there is an invisible man waiting for you" the doctor replies " awe not again tell him I can't see him"
- if the invisible man comes to the door Tell him I can't see him!
this was a joke my dad made ok dont judge me judge my dad
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Invisible Man One Liners
Which invisible man one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with invisible man? I can suggest the ones about blind man and tin man.
- As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero The Invisible Man
- Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman... The kids weren't much to look at!
- They made a book about my dad It's called The Invisible Man
- When a woman is dating the Invisible Man, can she really say she's seeing someone?
- What traffic sign does the Invisible Man always obey? "Keep clear."
- What happens when you take a photo of The Invisible Man? Nothing develops.
- The Invisible Man has a warrant out for his arrest. The charge is "Failure To Appear".
- I went to buy an Invisible Man comic yesterday. I couldn't see any.
- The invisible man heads to the ladies locker room... they didn't see him coming.
- Can anyone remember how to paint the Invisible Man? I've drawn a blank
- What's the invisible mans favorite drink? Evaporated milk.
- So what do you say to an invisible man? Stand Clear.
- My dad was so famous they wrote a book about him It's called The Invisible Man
- I often get confused with the invisible man Personally, I don't see the resemblance.
Invisible Man Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about invisible man you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iron man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make invisible man pranks.
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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The winner of the costume contest was the invisible man. He was invisible, and his wife wasn't much to look at either.
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The Invisible Man can f**... and pretend that he is not to blame.
What would you get if you crossed a athlete and the Invisible Man?… Sports like no one has ever seen.
A nurse walks into the doctors office and says "Doctor, there's an invisible man here to see you"
The doctor replied "Tell him I can't see him" [](/perfect)
Nurse walks into the doctors office and says: Doctor, there's a man here who says he's invisible.
Oh that's my pal Steve from the optics lab at DARPA. They're developing electromagnetic metamaterials to use in a cloaking device.
Tell him I can't see him now.
So a man finds a dirty lamp on the ground...
and he starts to clean it, because he thinks it may be valuable! After a while of rubbing it a genie comes out, and says "Hey! I'm a genie and normally i'd grant you 3 wishes but today i'm really tired, so I can only grant you one."
So after a while of thinking, the man says "Alright, I've always loved Hawaii. I want a bridge that goes from my backyard to there."
The genie snorts. "That's probably the dumbest wish I've ever heard! Make a different one."
So after another long while of thinking, the man says "I want to be able to know what any woman is thinking."
The genie then replies "So do you want this bridge to be invisible from other people or....
Why did the man use deodorant to fix a broken window?
He read that it was an invisible solid.
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An invisible man attacked me while he was m**....
He came out of nowhere.
Fantastic Fourplay
So I found a picture of the Invisible Woman performing suggestive acts on someone. I showed it to The Thing and he said he couldn't see her doing that. When I asked him if it was Mr. Fantastic she was with, Thing said he thought he was a stetch.
"What about the The Human Torch?" I proposed.
"Nah," he said. "When he's turned on, he's totally flaming."
"Well, is it you then??" I asked.
"No way man!" He exclaimed. "I can't even get my rocks off!"
Don't bother inviting the Invisible Man to your Halloween party.
What did the invisible man say to his dying friend?
I wanted to go as the invisible man for Halloween this year.
But my Girlfriend made me put my clothes back on.
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Did you hear? The invisible man and the invisible woman just had a son.
In all honesty, he's not much to look at
A man rushes into a psychiatrist's office and shouts "Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm invisible."
The shrink looks at his appointment schedule and says "I'm sorry, I can't see you right now."
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What did the Invisible Man's mom say after he came out as invisible?
"I can't even look at you anymore!"
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So the invisible man m**... the other day
No one saw him coming.
Secretary said..
Secretary: Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.
Doctor: Tell him I cant see him.
See the doctor
A psychiatrist was doing his book work, when his secretary came busting into his office, yelling, "Doctor! You have to help!"
"What's wrong?"he asked.
She said, "There's a man at my desk that says he is invisible"
The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him now."
The invisible man has retired.
He'll be a tough act to follow.
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What do you call an invisible black man?
Incog-n**...
I got my photo taken with the invisible man.
It cost me next to nothing.
(Psychiatrist's office) There's a man who thinks he's invisible.
Secretary: "Sir, there's a man outside who thinks that he's invisible."
Psychiatrist: "Tell him I can't see him right now."
What are the parents of the Invisible Man called?
The transparents
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Wonder Woman
Batman is talking to the Flash. "Hey, Flash, did you hear about Wonder Woman? She was lying on the roof of her building n**... moving her hips in a suggestive manner. Superman was flying by and saw her. He took off his clothes, flew down and landed right on top."
Flash says, "Boy, I bet Wonder Woman was surprised."
Batman answers, "Not nearly as surprised as the invisible man!"
A man who thinks he is invisible decides to get help. He walks into a psychiatrists office and tells the receptionist he would like to speak to a doctor, but has no insurance.
The receptionist looks up at him and says, "I'm sorry, the doctor can't see you right now."
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My wife was r**... by the invisible man...
She never saw him coming...
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I invited The Invisible Man to an o**......
but I didn't see whether or not he came.
Novel Character Dad
My dad is like a novel character. He's like an invisible man.
You come across three performing mimes. One is in an invisible box, one is cutting an invisible rope, and one is fighting an invisible man. Which one failed mime school?
The one who won't shut up about it.
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Three men meet a genie and are given a single wish.
The first man wishes to be invisible, p**...! he turns invisible but gets run over by a truck and drops down dead.
The second man wishes for 100 million dollars, p**...! he gets the money but is robbed and shot and drops down dead.
The third man sees this and figures out that the other men were selfish and that's what got them killed so he wishes for world peace, p**...! and 7.3 billion people drop down dead.
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Have you heard about the p**... who was blinded by the invisible man?
She never saw him coming
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It's sad you can't see the invisible man anymore?
Why? It because he committed s**... a week ago.
Three guys were in a bar
Three guys were in a bar, then a drunk walks in and say:
"Aww beautiful, the Fantastic Four"
"But man, we are only 3"
"Because the woman is invisible".
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Why wasn't the invisible man offered a job?
They just couldn't see him doing it! He's just like all of us: unseen, misunderstood, irrelevant.
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after the invisible man had kids he became a cross dresser. You could say he was a...
trans parent
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Superman was cruising the stratosphere
...when he spied Wonder Woman apparently sunbathing n**..., lying on her back on a remote beach. Admiring her stunning beauty, he thought to himself, "I bet I could fly down and with my super speed, have my way with her and be gone before she noticed a thing." So he flew down and 10 milliseconds later was gone. Wonder Woman opened her eyes, raised her head a little and said, "What the h**... was that?"
The Invisible Man said, "I don't know but it sure tore up my a**...."
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Why is the Invisible Man the worst lawyer?
He can never appear in court.
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Lonely superman
So one day superman is flying around lonely when he noticed wonder women n**... on the beach having what looks like a w**....
He figures if he can fly down at the speed of light and do his business she would never even notice. After a few minutes he finally builds the courage and boom he goes in for the kill.
Wonder women in shock screams at the top of her voice "What the h**... was that?!" The invisible man in agonizing pain tells her "I have no idea but my a**... is killing me"
An unintentional dad joke from my 5 yr old son…
Yesterday, my son found a set of Hotel Transylvania stuffed toys at a children's consignment event. He squealed and was jumping up and down, he was so excited. But then all of a sudden he got a dejected look on his face. One is missing, he said. I asked what he meant. I don't see the invisible man.
Even after we discussed it, he kept insisting they could have at least included the glasses.
Svengoolie
Q: How do you get a farm girl to like you?
A: >!A tractor!<
Q: What's the difference between Sven (the host) and a savings bond?
A.1: >!One's appreciated.!<
A.2: >!A savings bond matures.!<
Q: What part of the hospital is off-limits to The Invisible Man?
A: >!The ICU.!<
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Superman is flying around the city when he sees Wonder Woman lying n**... and spread eagle atop a skyscraper
He thinks to himself I can fly over there, have super sonic fast s**... with her, and fly away before she even notices…
He zips over, pumps away with a speed that induces time dilation in his nether region, and flies away before Wonder Woman can tell what happened.
Startled, Wonder Woman exclaims, What the h**... was that???
The Invisible Man replies, I have no idea but my a**... hurts like h**...!
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An invisible man married an invisible woman...
Their kids were nothing to look at
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What did the kid say when he saw the invisible man pee?
u**... visible!