invisible Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious invisible puns

As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero

The Invisible Man

👍🏼

My friend just asked me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"

I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat the shit out of him; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."

👍🏼

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

👍🏼

I sexually identify as an invisible dad.

I'm trans-parent.

👍🏼

Why is free Wi-Fi never seen in churches?

Because no church wants to be challenged by an invisible power that actually works.

👍🏼

Why don't churches have WiFi?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

👍🏼

My dad dressed up as The Invisible Man today

He's had the costume on for the last 20 years

👍🏼

What do you call an invisible mom that got a sex change?

Transparent

👍🏼

If I was invisible for a day...

I'd kick a mime artist to death.

👍🏼

Did you hear about the guy with the invisible penis?

He came out of nowhere.

👍🏼

Superman is flying over the ocean . . . NSFW

... And he spots Wonder Woman on an island lying spread-eagle naked on the beach.

He thinks, "Man, I've always wanted to fuck her."

So he flies down at super-sonic speed, drills her within seconds, and flies away chuckling.


Meanwhile, Wonder Woman says, "What the fuck was that?"

And the Invisible Man says, "I don't know . . . but my ass hurts like hell."

👍🏼

So the invisible man masturbated the other day

No one saw him coming.

👍🏼

I keep imagining I'm holding an invisible pack of cards

No one knows what I'm dealing with.

👍🏼

Invisible...

A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."

👍🏼

[NSFW] Wonder Woman is laying naked, face down, on a rooftop...

...when Superman flies by and sees her. Her naked body has him feeling all types of ways, so he starts to think, "You know, I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in and out of there before she even realizes what happened."

So, Superman flies in, does his business and takes off.

Wonder Woman says, "What was that?" The Invisible Man responds, "I don't know, but my fucking ass is killing me."

👍🏼

I told my therapist I feel like I'm invisible

My therapist replied, "who said that?"

👍🏼

Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

👍🏼

Superman is flying idly around, when he spots Wonder Woman naked, spread-eagled on a beach.

He thinks to himself, "I bet I could use my superhuman speed to have intercourse with her and fly away, without her even realizing what happened."

So he does.

A few seconds later, Wonder Woman says, "What in the HELL was THAT?"

The Invisible Man replies, "I have no idea, but my ass feels really sore."

👍🏼

Superman was flying above Metropolis

When he saw Wonder Woman sunbathing on the roof of the Justice League, totally naked. Superman thinks to himself, 'Hey, I'm Superman, I could fly down there really fast and fuck Wonder Woman, and she'd never know.' So Superman flies down and fucks Wonder Woman so fast she doesn't even see him. When he's done, Wonder Woman sits up and says "What the fuck was that?", To which the Invisible Man replies, "I dunno, but my asshole is killing me."

👍🏼

A nurse comes in and tells a doc...

..."there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

👍🏼

Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office.....

Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.'

Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'

👍🏼

An invisible man marries an invisible woman...

The kids weren't much to look at!

👍🏼

A man rushes into a psychiatrist's office and shouts "Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm invisible."

The shrink looks at his appointment schedule and says "I'm sorry, I can't see you right now."

👍🏼

What do you call an invisible black man?

Incog-negro

👍🏼

Invisible man

Invisible man goes to the doctor.

Doctor says "I can't see you right now."

-Christ Novacelic, Reading 1992

👍🏼

If I was invisible for a day...

I would find a mime artist and kick him to death

👍🏼

The invisible patient.

Nurse: Doc, there's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible. What should i tell him.?

Doc: Tell him i can't see him today!!

👍🏼

Invisible

My friend just said to me, "If you became invisible, what would you do first?"

I said, "I'd go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death; the round of applause he'd get would be astounding."

👍🏼

They made a book about my dad

It's called The Invisible Man

👍🏼

Receptionist: Doctor, your next patient claims to be invisible.

Doctor: Well tell him I can't see him right now.

👍🏼

Why did the blond girl became the Invisible Woman?

Because she has to be dense enough for light to bend around her

👍🏼

Barack Obama:

Most of the time, all he wanted was to be invisible.

"Now, let me be clear."

👍🏼

Wonderwoman was sunbathing naked on top of the justice league tower...

Superman was flying over and he had the idea that "hey I'm quick as lightning, I could go down there and have sex with her really quick then be out of there in a second." So he flies down, gets the job done and flies off. Wonderwoman jumps up and goes "what the hell was that?" Invisible man replies "I don't know but my ass really hurts."

👍🏼

An invisible man was in the waiting room.

"Your patient is here, doctor," the nurse said.

The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him right now."

👍🏼

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

👍🏼

What are the most funny Invisible jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Invisible? Well, here are the best Invisible dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Invisible pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes