Investors Jokes

Funniest Investors Short Jokes

Short investors jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The investors humour may include short investment jokes also.

1. The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store. But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new star. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
2. To the game stop hedge fund investors: I know you spent 70 billion. But the best I can offer you is $4 in credit.
3. The owners of a 'Happy Days' themed restaurant are being investigated for fraud for paying existing investors with new investors money. Experts are referring to it as the world first Fonzie Scheme.
4. Why did the brothel run out of money? Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.
5. I am looking for investors for my new mind controlled air freshener. When you think about it, it makes scents.
6. I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze. But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
7. The ISDS (Investor-State Dispute Settlement) clause of TTIP sounds so crazy that I begin to wonder: ISDS the real life? Or ISDS just fantasy?
8. In the stock market today.... Northern Tissue touched a new bottom, and millions of investors were wiped clean.
9. A Star Wars fan, a bitcoin investor and an anti-Trumper walk into a bar... Which one tells you about it first?
10. My fellow investors mocked me for buying shares in Nitrous Oxide. It's the laughing stock.

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Investors One Liners

Which investors one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with investors? I can suggest the ones about researchers and voters.

1. Did you hear about that brilliant Irish investor? His money just keeps Dublin
2. PETA is a successful investor in the laughing stock market.
3. Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo? Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat
4. What do cryptocurrency investors do for fun They YODL
5. Why did the tent company get no investors? It was tough to pitch.
6. What do you call an investor who procrastinates research? A specu-later
7. What's a cryptocurrency investor's favorite music? Baroque
8. What did the bitcoin investor say to the man who wanted some bitcoin? MINE!
9. I lost 12 pounds in a week. Good thing I'm not a big investor.
10. What did the stock say to the investor? Stop stocking me.
11. Why does Elon Musk want to go to Mars? So he can escape from his investors.
12. Why did the investor invest in exercise equipment? Because it was worth the weight!
13. My favourite weather phenomenon was in 1929 When it started raining investors.
14. What do you call an Arab investor? The Profit Mohammad
15. Why are 13,000 investors angry at Bernie? He Made Off with their money!!

Uproarious Investors Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about investors you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean investment banker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make investors pranks.