Investment Banker Jokes
16 investment banker jokes and hilarious investment banker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about investment banker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Investment Banker Short Jokes
Short investment banker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The investment banker humour may include short banker jokes also.
- Dracula says he doesn't want to become an investment banker.. He said he hates stakeholders.
- A banker tells his client that a £1,000,000 investment will turn into a ton of money! So the the client asks "How much is a ton of money"
The banker responds "Two Thousand Pounds" - How many investment bankers does it take to screw the economy? Just one if the bonus is big enough.
- So there's this guy going around dipping his t**... in glitter He's an investment banker at Goldman Sachs
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Investment Banker One Liners
Which investment banker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with investment banker? I can suggest the ones about bank employees and stock broker.
- Why did the investment bankers start dating? Compound interest
- Why did the banker like the TV show? Because he was invested in the story.
- What do you get when an Investment banker jumps off a cliff? A Con descending Altitude.
- Why did the investment banker leave her husband? She was losing interest.
- What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you? A stocker.
Hilarious Investment Banker Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about investment banker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bank cashier jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make investment banker pranks.
Return on investment
An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. Mr. Peterson, she begins, would you say you're honest?
Honest? replies the lawyer. Let me tell you something about honesty: My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.
Impressive, says the banker. And what sort of case was that?
My father sued me for the money.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a...
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a doctor because he'll treat her better.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a banker because he's a better long term investment.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a mechanic because he'll know how to service her undercarriage.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a UPS deliveryman because he'll have a bigger package
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a s**... because he'll always want to take her out.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a trucker because he's in for the long haul.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a town water inspector since he'll treat her well.
I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a midget because he under stands.