The Best 49 Investigator Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Investigator jokes. There are some investigator detective jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these investigator investigative puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Investigator Jokes and Puns

Pedophile Clown

Inside of an Interrogation room
Investigator: Where were you on the 5th of March?
Clown: I was at a kids birthday party
Investigator: what were you doing at the party?
Clown: I was the Clown
Investigator: what were you doing as the clown?
Clown: Showing them my shoe size
Investigator: ...What do you mean?
Clown: I took them into the Closet
Investigator: Did you at least let them out?
Clown: Oh they definitely came out of the Closet when I was done

My 6 year old niece told me this one.

What do you call an alligator who likes to wear vests?


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(βŒβ– _β– )

An investigator

3 in 1 QA jokes

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Investigator joke, 3 in 1 QA jokes

I've got a friend who's a female private investigator.

Or gynecologist, as she likes to be called.

What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat?

An investigator.

Two men get into a car wreck...

Both men are all right and meet to exchange information. The older man offers the younger man a drink to calm his nerves while they wait for the insurance investigator to arrive.

"Thanks for that drink, sir," the younger man says, emptying the little bit left in the bottle. "That was pretty scary."

"Don't thank me," the older man replies, casually tossing the empty bottle into the woods. "I'm a lawyer."

How did the investigators discover that a serial killer had dandruff?

They found head & shoulders in his bathroom.

Investigator joke, How did the investigators discover that a serial killer had dandruff?


aka female private investigator

What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ?

An Investigator.

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

You can explore investigator forensic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean investigator gator dad jokes. There are also investigator puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job?

A Defective!

Private Investigator

"Mr. Johnson, I've been doing some digging, and your wife has been having sex with another man for about two weeks."

"What?! My wife died three weeks ago."

"Yeah. I SAID I've been doing some digging."


Credit to MrProsserDreamsOfWar

Prince's housekeeper of 30 years was offered a job as a crime scene investigator.

She was considered highly qualified due to her decades of experience dusting for Prince.

Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead?

The investiGATOR

I hired a private investigator but he spent two days staring at my hedges

Turned out he was a privet investigator.

Investigator joke, I hired a private investigator but he spent two days staring at my hedges

Why did the police hire Quasimodo as an investigator?

He always had a hunch.

What do you call a reptile detective ?

An investigator


An Investigator would also be a good name for a crocodile with tons of venture capital.

FYI, i know the difference between the two but it doesn't sound right with a word echo.

What do you call an alligator at the stock market?

An investigator.

I enrolled to online Private Investigator Course but they are not answering...

I'm not sure if they just ignoring me or this is my first case...

Computer Hacking Investigator Job Interview

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of "Computer Hacking Investigator"

The boss asked him:

So, what makes you suitable for this job?

Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?

An investigator.

I go to Church at least once a day, sometimes three or more times in a single day.

I am an SVU Investigator. I go where the calls are.

Private investigator

(At a fancy diner with wife and her friend)
Wife's friend: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a private investigator
Wife: Kieth, you're allowed to say gynecologist
Me: People are eating, Linda!

What do you call an Alligator that's good with money and even better at finding people?


What do you call a reptile that gives sound financial advice?

An Invest-i-Gator .

Courtesy of my 8-year old daughter. :)

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator.

Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski had his house broken into according to police report.

The investigator on the case told the media that he must have forgotten his Rob Gronkhousekey.

My friend always tells everyone that he's a private investigator,

but within our group of friends we know he's just a gynecologist.


An investiGATOR!

So there was a murder the other day...

A man by the name of Juan Gonzalez was killed, and there was almost no evidence left behind.

The local police called in the FBI because they couldn't find a single lead.

The FBI investigator comes to the crime scene and has the case solved almost immediately.

He was killed with a golf gun, he said.

Everyone looked around confused, because no one had ever heard of a golf gun.

He said, isn't it obvious? There's a hole in Juan!

A man is murdered in a dessert factory.

The defendant is clearly guilty, but the investigators struggle to find the murder weapon to properly incriminate him. Where could it possibly have been hidden? The lead investigator is at a loss, when one day he suddenly jumps from his desk as it comes to him.
The proof is in the pudding!

What's the difference between a hired detective and a Gynecologist?

Ones a Private Investigator, the others a Privates Investigator

What did investigators find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?

Head & Shouldersο»Ώ

What's the most observant reptile?

An investi-gator

What do you call an alligator that solves crimes and day trades on the side?

An Investigator

What do you call an aquatic reptile that solves crimes?

An investi-gator.

What do you call a curious sex worker?

Private Investigator.

What kind of reptile does PI work, and works in personal finance on the side?

An investigator

Investigator to trainee helicopter pilot: "So you survived the crash. How did it happen?" Pilot: "Flying too high. I was shivering. Too cold." "Then what?"

"Then (pointing to the rotor) I switched off the fan."

What do you call a stock broker that also works as a private eye?

An Invest-igator

What do you call a gator in a vest?



An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub.

The apparent cause of death was starvation. Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.

The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the relatives,

"Was he a programmer?"

"Yes, why?"

She wordlessly shows them a large shampoo bottle with an instruction: "1. Apply the shampoo. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat the procedure."

What do you get if you put a vest on an alligator?

an investigator.

What is another name for a gynocoloist ?

A private investigator.

That detective must be from Florida

Because he's an investi-gator

What do you call an alligator with an investment account?

An investigator

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the investigator knickknack jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working investigator investi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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