The Best 49 Investigation Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Investigation jokes. There are some investigation examination jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these investigation audit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Investigation Jokes and Puns

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

​

Sincerely,

​

The Internet Provider

Lover's Lane

A cop comes upon a car parked late one night on Lover's Lane. Upon further investigation he finds a male subject reading a book in the front seat and a female subject filing her nails in the back seat.

The cop asks the guy, "What are you doing up here?"

"I'm reading a book sir."

"Uh-huh. And what's she doing?" the cop inquires, motioning toward the back seat.

"Well clearly, sir, she is filing her nails."

With a puzzled look on his face, the cop says, "In the 13 years I've been a cop I've never seen anything like this on Lover's Lane. How old are you son?"

"I'm 20."

"And how old is she?"

The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in about 15 minutes she'll be 18."

FBI Investigation.

The phone rings at the FBI headquarters.
"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, Sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes the they bust open every piece of wood, but finds no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house.
"Hey Clifford, did the FBI come?"
"Yep"
"Did they chop the wood?"
"Yep"
"Great, now it's your turn to call. i need my garden plowed."

Investigation joke, FBI Investigation.

Silly Drunks.

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.

"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."

Air Crash Investigation...

Are set to release Malaysian airlines boxset.


An investigation was carried out by a foundry...

since somehow people were getting a hold of their new ingots before they started selling them publicly. They investigated the entire foundry and found out that the man in charge of working the furnace was selling the ingots illegally, under the table. This only proves that he who smelt it, dealt it.

(fyi I don't know anything about metalworks or smelting at all. If I used any of these terms incorrectly, sorry.)

Tom used to pick up scrap metal. Then the police started an investigation to find out why.

It turned out that he was a forger. Makes cents.

Investigation joke, Tom used to pick up scrap metal. Then the police started an investigation to find out why.

Police has arrested a charlatan

He was attempting to sell trusting elderly people some pills that were supposed to bring them their youth back.

After further investigation the police found out that the same man has been previously arrested for the same thing in years 1734, 1859 and 1926.

What kind of tea do the crime investigation team drink?

A "casual tea"

Two detectives are at a crime scene.

They locate a briefcase that is vital evidence to the investigation.

One of the detectives says to the other "It's an open-and-shut case".

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

You can explore investigation search reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean investigation investigator dad jokes. There are also investigation puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A group of detectives did an investigation into the iPhone 7

They didn't find jack.

So the FBI is reopening their investigation due to emails found on computers at Anthony Weiner's house.

If these emails bring Hillary down, it'll be the first time she's been screwed by a Weiner in years.

3 Texas men missing while duck hunting found dead.

The incident is under investigation, but officials do not expect fowl play.

Trump is ordering an investigation into his own claims of voter fraud

Can he start with the frauds they keep putting in front of the voters?

Investigation underway after all public toilets mysteriously disappear...

Police say they have nothing to go on.

Investigation joke, Investigation underway after all public toilets mysteriously disappear...

USPS releases a stamp with Trump's picture

The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.

Investigation finds rise in complaints regarding worker incompetence at Quiznos locations

> "Whoops, wrong sub"

Some days it just feels like the media is Putin me on

If they keep Russian to conclusions, next they'll say Trump is Stalin an investigation.


The US Postal service released a new stamp with a picture of Donald Trump on it, however the new stamp isn't sticking to envelopes. The POTUS got an investigation underway.

Investigation outcome:
There's nothing wrong with the stamp.
People are spitting on the wrong side.

I was an hour late for work

I told them that Russia hacked my alarm clock and now I still have a job for the next two years while my boss
appoints a special investigation to look into it :)

Cops have released a statement on the discovery of "Glory Hole" in the bathrooms of a hugely prestigious college sorority house.

Police are looking into it.

And are preparing a probing investigation.

Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation.

I did and we do.

People are saying Donald Trump is wearing dentures after he was slurring his speech yesterday.

I think this calls for a molar investigation.

Why is the Flynn investigation taking so long?

Because they're carefully Muelling it over.

Investigation of the murder found all the victims were deaf, dumb or blind.

These were senseless killings.

Police say their investigation into the shooting at the YouTube headquarters has been hampered...

...by having to sit through a 5 second advert before interviewing each witness...

Facebook: *is under investigation by the government*

Google+: Finally, my time has come!

Have you guys heard about the police investigation into the death of a chickpea?

It was a hummus-ide.

An illustrator was found dead in his house

The investigation found his death to be in sketchy circumstances.

The Investigation into Elon Musk's False Advertising Scandal Enters the Fifth Week.

Elongate is really drawn out.

The US postal service releases a stamp of Donald Trump

After sometime, reports start to come in that the stamp was not sticking. Infuriated that his own stamps were not working, Trump conducted a $1,300,000 investigation to find out what happened. After eliminating all of the possibilities, they observe the post office to see if the fault was on the consumers end. They soon found out that people were spitting on the wrong side.

I just bought an undiscovered Stradivarius and an original Rembrandt!

Unfortunately, on further investigation I was able to discover that Rembrandt made useless violins and Stradivarius painted like a pre-schooler.

What did the white police officer say to the black transvestite gay married bisexual autistic handicapped veteran?

We won't know until the internal investigation is completed.

There was a burglary last night at the Los Angeles Police Department headquarters.

The thief or thieves stole all of the toilets.

When asked about the investigation, and LAPD spokesman said they have nothing to go on.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

That's still under investigation, but 6 turned up dead in a dumpster this morning, and 7 is the prime suspect.

What do you call 33 lives ruined by an FBI investigation?

A good start.

An origami artist wanted for murder, has been sending tantalizing clues to police.

The investigation is unfolding.

The president opens his curtains on a snowy morning when he sees that someone had urinated the words "The president sucks" on the lawn.

Furious, the president orders the FBI to launch an investigation.

Two hours later, the head of the FBI calls the president. "Sir, we have bad news, and we have even worse news. The urine was the Vice Presidents".

The President responds, "What? What could be worse than this?"

The head of the FBI says,"The handwriting was the First Lady's".

Hunchbacks would make great detectives

They can start off every investigation saying, "Hmm, I have a hunch".

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton...

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.

Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.

This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.



After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.

* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

What did the doctor diagnose?

A man went to the doctor and said that he wanted to commit suicide.

The doctor, visibly surprised, asked, "why?"

The man said, "When I touch my finger to my body, it hurts. When I touch it to my head, it hurts. When I touch to my feet it hurts. What will I do living with so much pain?"

After a lot of investigation, the doctor diagnosed, that the man actually had a fractured finger.

Breaking News: Putin orders full investigation and promises severe punishment for whoever poisoned opposition politician Navalny...

insufficiently.

A man walks into a gym and kills everyone there brutally

After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded

Murder investigation Australia

When some one is killed by violence in Australia

the detectives have it easy, they just wait and see who the boomerang

comes back to.

TIL that the leaning tower of Pisa collapsed after 848 years.

After an official investigation it was discovered not enough tourists have been holding it up since the start of the pandemic.

Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week.

Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.

A worker was stopped by a cop at the gates of a winery

Cop: "Sorry the winery is closed today due to an ongoing investigation. Please go home."

Worker: "What happened?"

Cop: "One of your colleagues fell into a wine tank and ended up drowning."

Worker: "Oh my God. That is terrible."

Cop: "It appears he died doing what he loved doing."

Worker: "How can you say that! Everyone hates working here!"

Cop: "Well, the CCTV footage showed him getting out of the tank five times to take a piss."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the investigation examine jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working investigation federal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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