Invention Jokes
132 invention jokes and hilarious invention puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about invention that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best of Irish invention with these hilarious invention jokes! Go through a showcase of ingenious contraptions that take the idea of a new invention to a whole new level of humour.
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Funniest Invention Short Jokes
Short invention jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The invention humour may include short inventor jokes also.
- I invented a new golf ball that'll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.
- Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
- Of all the inventions of the last 100 years... the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
- The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation.
- Did you know the magnifying glass was invented by a chinese guy? Yeah, his name was Tzu Minh
- What's the most common operation in a lego hospital? Plastic surgery.
[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke] - how many Indians does it take to fix a lightbulb? Two. One to do the task and other to explain how lightbulbs were actually invented in ancient India.
- I invented a new word. Plagiarism.
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EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you. - TIL that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia... otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.
- Condoms 1272AD - arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.
1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.
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Invention One Liners
Which invention one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with invention? I can suggest the ones about patent and gadget.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? I heard he made a mint.
- I don't understand why white people can't say the N word We invented it after all
- Whosoever invented "dentures" missed out on calling them ... "Substitooths".
- COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
- i invented a new word! its called plagiarism
- To the guy who invented zero, Thanks for nothing.
- I just invented a new word: plagiarism.
- The man who invented the "VELCRO" died today.... ...RIP.
- I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent... It goes without saying
- Guys I just invented a new word Guys I just invented a new word
Plagiarism - Dear the person who invented 0, thanks for nothing
- Before crowbars were invented...... ...most crows drank at home by themselves.
- The man who invented the umbrella was going to call it brella. When asked, he hesitated.
- The contact lens is mans greatest invention At least in my eyes
- What do you call a color that hasn't been invented yet? A pigment of your imagination.
New Invention Jokes
Here is a list of funny new invention jokes and even better new invention puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I invented a new type of car... Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"
My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"
Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying." - I invented a new golf ball for amateurs that will automatically go in the hole if you get it within four inches. Disclaimer: Do not carry it in your back pocket!
- Elon Musk and bill gates have decided to partner in a joint venture to invent a medication to overcome erectile dysfunction. They have decided to name the new drug 'Elongates'.
- Britain has invented a new missile It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
- My new invention has made me rich!!! exploding prayer mats, prophets are going through the roof
- Did you hear? They invented a new shovel! It's ground breaking!
- I invented a new word today. Plagarism.
- I heard they're inventing a new kind of bed... ...but most of the theories I've heard are bunk.
- Have you heard about the new broom they invented? Its sweeping the nation
- Heard a vintage 2011 today. The Navy Seals just invented a new drink, the "bin Laden". Two shots to the face and a splash of water.
Invention Telephone Jokes
Here is a list of funny invention telephone jokes and even better invention telephone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What was more important than the invention of the first telephone? The second telephone.
- What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke? My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris jokes When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
- Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.
- What was one of the greatest inventions of all time, yet was completely useless when it was first made? The telephone, who r u gonna call?
- Russian Ministry of Communication announces proof that Putin invented the telephone. Played recording of three messages on answering machine left by Alexander Graham Bell.
- What was a more important invention than the first telephone? The second one.
- Who invented the first telephone? Does it ring any bells?
- TIL that immediately after Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he learned that he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
- What's better than the invention of the telephone? The second one.
Credited Invention Jokes
Here is a list of funny credited invention jokes and even better credited invention puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It is I who invented the term, "plagiarism". However, Al Gore got credit for it.
- TIL The brothers credited for inventing the airplane had Chinese parents... Turns out two Wongs can make a Wright.
- Ancient China should be credited for inventing toilet paper. The inventor was Wai Ping.
- Who invented first point and click interface? Smith and wesson.
Credits to an amazing profesor. - I invented Taking credit for others work.
- I'm the guy who invented the sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop.
Credit to 'flaggon' from sikipedia - TIL: The first credit card was actually invented in during the s**... trade. It was called a Master Card.
Better Invention Jokes
Here is a list of funny better invention jokes and even better better invention puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It's a good thing the popular sports drink was invented at Florida instead of Florida State... Because Gatorade is a much better name than Seminole Fluid .
- Bill and Phil just invented Advertising Boards Bill asks Phil, "What should we call these advertising boards?"
Phil says, "Philboards!"
Bill replies, "No wait! I have a better idea..." - What did God say when he invented cripples? I can do better.
- I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
- Indians are better with computers because they are the 1's who invented 0's
- A new and better nail clipper was invented today What a cutting-edge technology it is
- Imagine the guy who invented maple syrup... Hey this tree tastes way better than the last 10 trees I s**...!
Irish Invention Jokes
Here is a list of funny irish invention jokes and even better irish invention puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- No matter how improbable, there's a parallel universe with anything you can think of. Even one where the Irish invented rap. It's how the universe achieves Homie O'Stasis
- Who do you guys think invented dancing? It was a big Irish family with just one toilet.
- What's the latest Irish invention? A helicopter ejector seat
- How was the Irish j**... invented? To much beer and not enough bathrooms
Fun-Filled Invention Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about invention you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean discovery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make invention pranks.
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?
Because anywhere else it would've been called a teethbrush.
A little known fact...
Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama
if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented s**...." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.
That's Remarkable!
Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.
You guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south?
Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.
What happened after the wheel was invented
a revolution
Know how the iPhone 6+ was invented by men?
Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, "six plus"
Muslim scientists..
Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They're calling it 'Islam'.
A Greek and a Italian are having a beer.
The Greek Says
"You know, we invented s**...."
Then the Italian turn's and looks at him.
"Well we brought women into it."
An Italian and a Greek get in a fight over s**...
Greek: the Greeks invented s**... centuries before the Italians!
Italians: maybe so but we improved on it by introducing it to women!
Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.
Why did man invent curling?
To convince women sweeping was a sport.
The guy who invented t**... lozenges died last week.
There was no coffin at the f**...
The guy who invented the USB connector died...
They lowered the coffin into his grave.
Then they lifted it back out, turned it round, and lowered it back in again.
My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon
It never really took off.
Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth
... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.
In the 15th century the Arabs invented the c**..., using a goat's lower intestine.
In the 18th century the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
What happened at the f**... of the man who invented the USB?
They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.
The invention of s**...
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented s**..." The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"
Inventor displays the first knife ever.
His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind"
I invented a sandal for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
I wonder...
I always wondered what my parents did to pass time before things like the internet and TVs were invented.
I asked my 26 siblings for advice.
The c**... was first invented by a Welshman by using a sheep's intestine
The English later improved it by removing the intestine from the sheep first
Did you know that sandals were invented by a Frenchman?
His name was Philippe Filoppe.
I hope the guy who invented Autocorrect burns in
Hello!
If 2 wrongs DID make a right...
You'd need 4 wrongs to invent an airplane.
Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers?
They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?
If was created anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush.
The first joke I invented all on my own (age ~5-6)
Why don't pirates like playing cards?
There's always someone walking across the deck.
In 1272, the Muslims invented the c**..., using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Just invented a new drink. v**..., cranberry juice, lime, and rohypnol.
Its called the Cosbypolitan
God asked Adam to name the animals
Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig…
Then God said, You must name the sea animals, too
Adam was tired already, so he said, Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting p**....
My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak.
If only they could see me now...
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf h**... never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the no-bell prize.
When you think of it, invention of the shovel was groundbreaking
But it was the invention of the broom that swept the nation.
Karl Marx is a historically famous figure…
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter p**....
When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason!
So I've worked all my life to invent a time machine of my own, and I'm going back to when he was little and we'll see how he likes the taste of his own medicine.
I've just invented a telepathically controlled air freshener
Makes scents when you think about it.
I invented silent tennis...
It's like regular tennis but without the racket.
If Chuck Norris hadn't existed...
Chuck Norris would have invented him.
It wasn't easy for the guy who invented the microphone in the beginning.
He got some really bad feedback.
It's a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida…
If it was developed at Florida State University, Gatorade might have been called Seminole Fluid instead.
My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.
It was a flop.
I just invented a car that only moves when the driver is silent.
I mean, it goes without saying…
Who invented the circle?
Sir Cumfrence
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Indiana?
Because if it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.
(Hoosier here)
Everyone knows Al Pacino, the famous Hollywood icon.
No one talks about his brother Cap, who invented delicious Italian coffee.
The man who invented the remote control has died
They found him at home, between his couch cushions.
Why was the accordion invented? So the musician could both play and dance at the same time.