Invention Jokes

What are some Invention jokes?

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking,

but the invention of the broom swept the nation.

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.

That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

Inventor displays the first knife ever.

His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind"

The invention of sex

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"

What's the most remarkable invention?

A whiteboard

Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel...

Ground Breaking Stuff.

What was more important than the invention of the first telephone?

The second telephone.

Did you know the first condoms were invented by the Welsh out of sheep's intestines?

The English improved on the invention by taking the intestines out of the sheep before using them.

Have you heard about the invention of the white board

It's remarkable.

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.

It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.

'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'

'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.

He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.

Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.

'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'

But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..

My new invention has made me rich!!!

exploding prayer mats, prophets are going through the roof

During the annual cavemen conference ...

Greg : so I kept rubbing this rock against another rock until it became very thin and now I can cut vegetables,meat using this . I call this "The Knife" .

Chief Gogo : wow , I thought no-one can beat Gorg's invention of using wheat flour and water to create a new food called "bread" but yours is a worthy contender

Greg " that's not it ,chief "

And then places a piece of bread on the stone and takes the knife in his hand

" What I'm about to do will blow your mind " .

In honor of Mother's Day ... sort of

A woman goes into labor and her husband is her birthing coach. In the delivery room, a doctor shows the two a brand new invention that allows the father to share some of the labor pains, which takes some of the pressure off of the mother. The man agrees. He begins at 20%. "No problem," he tells the doctor, so they turn it up to 40%. The man says "I don't see what the big deal is! Crank it up!" Finally they put him at 80%. The mother has a much easier labor and a gives birth to a baby boy.

Later that day, the man gets a telephone call from one of his neighbors. "It's the damndest thing," the neighbor says. "The mailman just dropped dead on your front doorstep this morning."

Have you ever heard of the invention of the shovel?

It was ground breaking.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

NASA discovers 10 earth like planets.

Within a month of Trump taking office, NASA has discovered 10 earth like planets...

They say necessity is the mother of invention !!

The invention of the fan....

Blew people away

Did you hear about the invention of the wheel?

They say it started a revolution.

Which historical invention was the most revolutionary?

The wheel :)

Invention of the knife

"What is that?"

I call it the 'knife'.

"Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"

Greg, I am about to blow your mind.

A man goes along to the Patent Office...

A man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.

He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle, replies the inventor."

"A fottle? That's silly! Can't you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."

"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.

"A farton", replies the inventor.

"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"

"In that case," says the inventor, "you're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.

What's the latest invention to come out of the UA engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight.

How can you tell if someone's a UA graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose.

Why are criminals so hard to catch in Alabama? Everyone has the same DNA.

What does an Alabaman call a six-pack and a dead possum? A seven-course meal.

Since state jokes seem to be the thing today, and, well, I'm from Georgia...

I wanted to be the first person to invent a feline cloning machine...

But everybody said it was nothing but a copycat invention.

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.

Come to think of it the invention of the shovel was pretty important...

Some would even say it was groundbreaking

the invention of the shovel was ground breaking (short)

the invention of the shovel was ground breaking.
but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.

- Scratch Farrell

Say what you want about jackhammers...

but honestly, they are truly a groundbreaking invention.

I asked my secret crush if she wanted to invest in my new invention idea, chloroform kleenex.

She decided to sleep on my place.

Guess you can say that the invention of the broom really...

Swept the nation

A quote from the Father of Invention.

Hi Invention, I'm Dad.

The best invention ever are in fact window blinds

Otherwise, it would have been curtains for everyone.

Dear necessity, happy mothers day!


In 2 words describe the invention on a shovel

Ground Breaking

So what is your favorite groundbreaking invention?

Mine is the shovel......

Elon Musk's new tunnel boring machine is....

quite a ground breaking invention.

My friend tried telling me shovels are useless.

But I truly believe it was a ground breaking invention.

In the 1700s, Muslims invented the first condoms. They used goat intestines.

Then in the next century, Europeans took the invention to the next level. They took the intestines out of the goat.

Did you know that the invention of stairs...

Brought the world on a whole new level.

If necessity is the mother of invention...

If necessity is the mother of invention..the frustration is the father of masturbation.

Sparkling water is definitely a German invention

Who else would put gas in water?

Beer is mankind's best invention ever, but

the wheel is the most revolutionary.

Titles are really hard, but jokes are a bit easier.

A scientist invented a machine that could combine anything for form a hybrid of the objects.

He goes to a convention to present the machine.
For his presentations he decided to combine himself with two objects.

He stands in front of the crowd and brings out a xerox machine and kitten.

He walked into the invention and clicked the button to combine himself with the two objects.

As the smoke clears and the man walks out, not one is impressed.

It is understandable though, the man was a copy cat.

I got fired for naming my invention the Direct Interface for Long-Distance Observation.

The boss accused my team of pulling it out of an unauthorised Acronym Synthesis Service.

Thomas Edison was certainly one of history's greatest scientists.

If not for his invention, right now we would be using our computers by candlelight.

My friend asked me what my favorite tool was

I told him it was a jackhammer
He asked why
I said i liked it because it was a ground breaking invention

The invention of the broom may have swept the nation...

... but the invention of the Galaxy Note 7 really set the world on fire

The greatest invention

One day the teacher asked her 2nd grade class what the greatest invention was. Several kids responded with answers like "The light bulb" and "The gas-powered engine".

When it was Little Cedric's turn to answer, he proudly declared "The THERMOS."

The amused teacher asked Little Cedric to explain.

Little Cedric said "The THERMOS is the greatest invention ever because it keeps hot liquids *hot* and it also keeps cold liquids *cold*."

The teacher asked why that qualifies as *the* greatest invention of *all time*.

Little Cedric bellowed "HOW DOES IT *KNOW!?*"

This guy goes to the Patent Office with some...

...of his designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle."

"A fottle? That's a stupid name. Can you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."

"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk."

"A farton."

"That's ridiculous. Are you sure you want to call it that?"

"In that case," says the guy, "you're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

Has anyone heard of the invention of the wheel?

It was revolutionary

How to make Invention jokes?

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