Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Invented puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.
The English later improved it by removing the intestine from the sheep first
We invented it after all
Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
Plastic surgery.
[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]
There was no coffin at the funeral
Plagiarism.
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EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you.
Thanks for nothing.
plagiarism.
otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.
...RIP.
Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.
... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.
Greek: the Greeks invented sex centuries before the Italians!
Italians: maybe so but we improved on it by introducing it to women!
In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
In the 18th century the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
thanks for nothing
Me: "I invented a new car. It's powered by silence!"
My friend: "Wow, this is going to revolutionize the industry!"
Me: "Yeah, it goes without saying."
Why don't pirates like playing cards?
There's always someone walking across the deck.
Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, "six plus"
Hey this tree tastes way better than the last 10 trees I sucked!
They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.
if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
If was created anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush.
It never really took off.
They lowered the coffin into his grave.
Then they lifted it back out, turned it round, and lowered it back in again.
The Greek Says
"You know, we invented sex."
Then the Italian turn's and looks at him.
"Well we brought women into it."
a revolution
Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
I always wondered what my parents did to pass time before things like the internet and TVs were invented.
I asked my 26 siblings for advice.
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"
His name was Philippe Filoppe.
Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They're calling it 'Islam'.
Hello!
It was a flop.
They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.
Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.
Its called the Cosbypolitan
Because anywhere else it would've been called a teethbrush.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
Restaurant in piece.
They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first
He was an inventor. He invented the cold air balloon. Only problem was it never really took off.
I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
should get a no bell prize.
Surely fire is warm enough already?
It's called sonblock.
First joke on here. Came up with that while camping this past weekend.
... they are calling them "parallelograms".
...the whole cemetery disappeared.
I programmed it to make coins, but for some reason it keeps printing dollar bills....
It makes no cents.
Eau my God
It not only tells you the time, it reminds you what year it is, too.
It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
He was buried 6 down and 5 across.
But at least we invented the hamburger
The English improved on the invention by taking the intestines out of the sheep before using them.
Thanks for nothing
his funfair is next monkey
His funeral will be held in asymmetry.
I heard there will be no coffin at his funeral.
RIP
if it was invented anywhere else it would be the teethbrush
idk how this got a dirty label
and it was about time too!
He'll be cremated at 6.
As it turns out, Muslims in the middle east one day came up with the brilliant idea to use goat intestines as a suitable condom. It wasn't, however, until in 1827 when the British perfected the idea by taking the intestines *out* of the goat first.
Muslim's were the ones that invented the condom. This was well before plastics so they used goat intestines. Then the British came along and stole the idea from the Muslims and improved it by removing the intestines from the goat.
Whoever invented this should be crucified.
should burn in hello.
Ramen!
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Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.
...I've asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don't know either...
Anywhere else and it would be called a teeth brush.
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves, so they took it out to different countries for a test. In USA, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves,
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,
Spain in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves :
Nigeria in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves,
Uganda in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves,
Then they brought it to South Africa , in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
His funfair is next sundial.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
His body was found down the back of the sofa.
He's going to he'll
Did you know the condom was invented in a small village in wales in the 12th century. They thought it would be a good idea to use the lower intestine of a sheep to stop their wives becoming pregnant.
Of course, in the 1350's, the English improved on the idea. They took the lower intestine out of the sheep before they used it.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.