Invasive Jokes
56 invasive jokes and hilarious invasive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about invasive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Invasive Short Jokes
Short invasive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The invasive humour may include short jokes also.
- Nobody was scared when the clown invasion started at the beach I mean, it's just one boat they said. How bad can it be? .
- Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains
- From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.
- Why was the entire world late to work today? Due to the invasion in Ukraine and widespread sanctions, everyone stopped Russian.
- Why did the Ukraine elect a comedian as president? They needed someone who could turn even a Russian invasion into a joke
- I think the Russian invasion of Ukraine was caused by a translation error. The Russian military invading Ukraine all have Z's, and the Ukrainians fighting back are the "Not Z's".
- What happens when two enemies put their differences aside and work together? The invasion of Poland.
- What was the weather forcast in poland on the day before the german invasion? 86% chance of heil
- What's the difference between a skillet and a person who asks celebrities invasive questions? One's a frying pan, the other is a prying fan
- The Caribbean is under attack from invasive plant life and other weeds The situation is dire, specifically the cuban Thistle Crisis
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Invasive One Liners
Which invasive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with invasive? I can suggest the ones about and .
- The USA condemns unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation.
- Biden to Putin: Stop planning the invasion of Ukraine. Putin: Crimea River.
- How do you stop an alien invasion? You build a wall.
- An alien invasion approaches. Why does the president dress up like a cow? Camooflage.
- NSW What's the definition of a kiss? It's the outer persuasion, for the inner invasion.
- What do you call an invasive species that happens to be a bird? i**... avian.
- What do you call a red neck invasion? An incestation
- Why did h**... delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*
- Alien Invasion Will an alien invasion affect my plans for world d**...?
Invasive Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about invasive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make invasive pranks.
The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.
In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.
Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.
His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon.
He told his Syrian guest, “Take anything you want – our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles.”
“No, no – you don’t understand!” the Syrian replied.
“Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What We Learn From the Movies:
It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking.
No one involved in a car chase, h**..., e**..., volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What would h**...'s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z's?
v**... Czech
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the old Frankish barbarians say to the Roman invasion?
[](/dumbfabric)"You don't have the *Gaul* to do it!"
Why did hitlers aircraft preform so badly after the invasion of russia?
because they were stalin'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Great Ovarian Revolution
One day all the eggs in a woman's body decide to fight off incoming s**.... Knowing the woman has s**... every Friday night then set up a blockade and wait till Friday. Once Friday night comes the eggs bravely get ready to stop the invasion. They wait all night but no s**... enter. The eggs stand confused until another egg comes rushing towards them out of breath. The other eggs start asking why he's out of breath. The egg catches his breath and says, "THEY CAME IN THE REAR!"
The neighbors just asked
if I was stealing their Wi-Fi. It felt like such an invasion of my piracy.
Brexit Vote goes down as one of the Brit's most shocking moments...
Jarvis Cocker stage invasion during Michael Jackson's 'Earth Song' falls to #2.
What type of surgery would a diamond get if it didn't want to leave a big scar?
Mineral-ly invasive.
Cable provider shut my internet down for illegally downloading movies
What an invasion of piracy
What do u get when an alien barges into your bathroom while you're taking a shower?
An invasion of privacy.
I had ordered a DIY, non-invasive, homeopathic fat reduction kit, and I was really excited that the package just arrived today!
But when I opened it up, it was just a pair of running shoes :(
What do you get when you cross a Martian tripod invasion with a piece of chocolate left in a car?
Hershey Common and the Heat Ray.
A lot of people say that Julius Caesar's invasion of France was "brave".
I have to agree, but it took a lot of Gaul.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday
So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.
In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy.
They were named the marine corpse
What do you call a British soap opera that's been re-named after a successful invasion by ISIS?
Middle East-Enders
Due to an increase of home invasions in Paris
The number of people sleeping with a white flag beside their bed has spiked drastically
I phoned the government, and asked what precautions they had taken against a Dalek invasion.
They told me steps had been put in place.
Why Germany's invasion of USSR failed during the WWII?
The winter kept Stalin the soilders.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Using Microsoft Word
**moves image 1mm to the right**
4 new pages appear.
Global warming.
Alien invasion.
Armageddon.
BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure.
Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.
My crush thinks I'm a bit too invasive even at school.
That's what she wrote in her diary at her house anyway.
Two aliens are sitting in their spaceship looking at the earth.
One of them has been researching whether an invasion would be viable. He reports back to his commander "the humans have somehow managed to harness the power of the atom to create some of the most powerful weapons I've ever seen".
The commander says "maybe it would be unwise for us to invade this planet then"
The researcher replied "I wouldn't worry too much, although they have the power, they don't have the intelligence to use them properly, they've got them pointing at themselves."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The military described the drone strike as "surgical"
This was accurate. It was b**..., it was invasive, and they washed their hands afterwards.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Chinese say to Genghis Khan before he launched his invasion?
"What are you doing, steppe bro!?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Russia assemble an army of female sheep and wading birds at the border?
They were preparing for a ewe-crane invasion.
Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.
Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.
They send a few truckloads of wheat with the note: "That's how many of us are coming!"
A few days later the trucks return full of flour with the note: "And this is how they will be sent back to you"