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Invasion Jokes

29 invasion jokes and hilarious invasion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about invasion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A day for jokes? Learn about the origin of Invasion Day humor, the history behind it, and the importance of jokes in the struggle against attack and oppression. Read on to discover how broadcast media has been used to bring attention to the experiences of nations across the world.

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Funniest Invasion Short Jokes

Short invasion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The invasion humour may include short invade jokes also.

  1. Nobody was scared when the clown invasion started at the beach I mean, it's just one boat they said. How bad can it be? .
  2. Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains
  3. From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.
  4. Why was the entire world late to work today? Due to the invasion in Ukraine and widespread sanctions, everyone stopped Russian.
  5. Why did the Ukraine elect a comedian as president? They needed someone who could turn even a Russian invasion into a joke
  6. I think the Russian invasion of Ukraine was caused by a translation error. The Russian military invading Ukraine all have Z's, and the Ukrainians fighting back are the "Not Z's".
  7. What happens when two enemies put their differences aside and work together? The invasion of Poland.
  8. What was the weather forcast in poland on the day before the german invasion? 86% chance of heil
  9. What's the difference between a skillet and a person who asks celebrities invasive questions? One's a frying pan, the other is a prying fan
  10. The Caribbean is under attack from invasive plant life and other weeds The situation is dire, specifically the cuban Thistle Crisis

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Invasion One Liners

Which invasion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with invasion? I can suggest the ones about infection and immigration.

  1. The USA condemns unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation.
  2. Biden to Putin: Stop planning the invasion of Ukraine. Putin: Crimea River.
  3. How do you stop an alien invasion? You build a wall.
  4. An alien invasion approaches. Why does the president dress up like a cow? Camooflage.
  5. NSW What's the definition of a kiss? It's the outer persuasion, for the inner invasion.
  6. What do you call an invasive species that happens to be a bird? i**... avian.
  7. What do you call a red neck invasion? An incestation
  8. Why did h**... delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*
  9. Alien Invasion Will an alien invasion affect my plans for world d**...?

Home Invasion Jokes

Here is a list of funny home invasion jokes and even better home invasion puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Due to an increase of home invasions in Paris The number of people sleeping with a white flag beside their bed has spiked drastically
Invasion joke, Due to an increase of home invasions in Paris

Cheeky Invasion Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about invasion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean uprising jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make invasion pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What would h**...'s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z's?

v**... Czech

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday

So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The military described the drone strike as "surgical"

This was accurate. It was b**..., it was invasive, and they washed their hands afterwards.

Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.

Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.
They send a few truckloads of wheat with the note: "That's how many of us are coming!"
A few days later the trucks return full of flour with the note: "And this is how they will be sent back to you"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What did the Chinese say to Genghis Khan before he launched his invasion?

"What are you doing, steppe bro!?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why did Russia assemble an army of female sheep and wading birds at the border?

They were preparing for a ewe-crane invasion.

Invasion joke, Why did Russia assemble an army of female sheep and wading birds at the border?