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Invade Jokes

73 invade jokes and hilarious invade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about invade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Invade Short Jokes

Short invade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The invade humour may include short invasion jokes also.

  1. Zelensky: Why did you invade Iraq? United States: Because we "suspected" nuclear weapons.
    Zelensky: So why not attack Russia now?
    United States: Because we know that Russia has nuclear weapons.
  2. One of my friends told me I make people uncomfortable by often invading people's personal space I found this really hurtful, it completely ruined our bath
  3. My friend said that I make people uncomfortable by invading their personal space. It was a very hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
  4. Whats kim kardashian and the Middle East got in common? Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.
  5. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate... And I can picture us invading that world because they'd never see it coming.
  6. George W. Bush couldn't decide what country to invade next... He says, "It seems we're stuck between iraq and a hard place.."
  7. How do you make a Swiss Roll? Push him down a hill.
    BONUS: How do you make French Wine?
    Invade.
  8. I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea... It'd be Seoul destroying
  9. What's the fastest way to become a Millionaire? Be a Billionaire and invade Ukraine.

    >NK Lukoil PAO
    >
    >6.96 USD
    >
    >\-84.96 (-92.43%)past month
  10. I think the Russian invasion of Ukraine was caused by a translation error. The Russian military invading Ukraine all have Z's, and the Ukrainians fighting back are the "Not Z's".

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Invade One Liners

Which invade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with invade? I can suggest the ones about conquered and invading poland.

  1. If Russia invaded turkey from the rear, Do you think Greece would help?
  2. If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear... Would Greece help?
  3. My face is so oily The US wants to invade it.
  4. What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading? Crimea River.
  5. Why did Germany invade Hungary in WW2 They were jealous of the Hung-Aryans
  6. If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind... Do you think Greece would help?
  7. My skin is so oily that I'm afraid that one day America may invade it!
  8. There are so many closet gay muslims, Isis just invaded Narnia.
  9. So Turkey wants to invade Syria from the rear, Do you think Greece will help?
  10. If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]
  11. My car leaks so much oil that the U.S Army just invaded my driveway.
  12. If two rights make a wrong, what about a third right? Invades Poland.
  13. What do you call an extremely clingy alien? A personal space invader.
  14. Why did the United States invade Panama? Just cause.
  15. How do Soviets invade a country? They Russian.

Plan Invade Jokes

Here is a list of funny plan invade jokes and even better plan invade puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When the Greeks invaded Troy, why did their plot use an equine model instead of a bovine one? Because if it was bovine, their plan would be in sham-bulls.
Invade joke, When the Greeks invaded Troy, why did their plot use an equine model instead of a bovine one?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about invade can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of invade puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Invade Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about invade you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean infested jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make invade prank.

A teenager went to United Nations for help...

The UN judge asks, "Want are you afraid of?"
He replies,"My face is so oily, I'm afraid the US would invade me."

Did you hear Poland bought 5,000 septic tanks?

As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they'll invade Germany.

I just finished a straight 8.5 hour binge of Dan Carlin's Wrath of the Khans podcast. I know one thing for sure:

You can't invade Russia in the winter. But Genghis certainly Khan.

Putin decides to invade Poland

Putin decides to invade Poland. But first, he wants to check the future situation in his country by visiting a fortuneteller.
Putin: Hello! I'd like to ask how much would a 0,7l bottle of v**... in Moscow 2016 cost.
Fortuneteller: Hmmm... it seems about twenty.
Putin: Rubles?!?
Fortuneteller: No, PLN.

I want to open a gay bar in Germany called Pole-Land.

You know they'll invade the place.

My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy

Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary.

Why did h**... invade Hungary?

Because he can't resist a HungAryan :)

Why us it not good to have an oily face?

The US might invade it.

A joke from WWII

A German soldier is talking to a Swiss soldier:
"How many soldiers could Switzerland mobilize if we were to invade?"
"Half a million within two days."
"And if we invade with a million troops?"
"We shoot twice and go home."

Regarding Canada

If they ever invade the States, I move we rename them the US-Eh

I figured out how to invade Russia

You destroy all of the v**... then they'll be to sober to shoot straight.

You know Stalin tried to invade Scandinavia

But he just couldn't finnish

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome? [OC]

Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

President Obama is doubling down on fighting global warming

He's already sent three battalions of Marines to invade the Sun.

Why did Turkey cross the road

To invade Byzantium of course, the Turks were vicious when it came to invasion.

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

The girl I'm dating is half Polish and half German.

I asked her if she ever got the urge to invade herself.

When the Mexicans finally invade and take over Los Angeles, what will the city be renamed to?

El Eyyyy

What will the Sith call the earth when they invade and take command?

The Force r**...

What did Invader Zim say to the bottle of Sodium Hydroxide that had "Bleach" written on it?

No, You Lye. YOU LYYYYYYYYYYYE!!!

If the U.S. ever discovered Time Travel

It would go back in time and invade itself for oil.

Why did the Mexican . . .

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
- For Hispanic attacks
Why did the Mexican Army invade the Alamo with only 5,000 troops?
- Because they only had two vans
Why did the Mexican train driver kill all his passengers?
- No one knows! He must have had a locomotive
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?
- Tequila

What spell does America cast every time they invade a country in the Middle East?

Expecto Petroleum

My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".

Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".

Why does russia want to invade Ukraine

Because they want to make it an Ourkraine.

What do you call it when rodents invade a b**... colony?

Hamsterdam

Canadians are always viewed as nice and polite but so help me, if they invade the US...

They'll be sorry.

What did h**... say to the driver when he got lost trying to invade France?

"take the third r**..."

How did the n**... invade Poland so easily?

They marched in backwards and said they were leaving.

Russia really want to invade Finland so they can rest

As they would cross the Finnish line.

I can't believe that in 2019 viruses and bacteria can still just invade my body whenever they want

It makes me sick

I can't believe all these viruses and bacteria invade my body without permission

Makes me sick

The French wanted more territory...

So they got ready to invade Spain
As the army crossed the border they were immediately ambushed and lost the battle.
Why?
Because nobody expects the Spanish in-position

When I successfully invade Canada and they offer me lands in a peace treaty...

I'll take Nunavut.

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone!

Eh?"

Trump and McConnell are in a restaurant

They are discussing their plans to invade Iran. A man walks by their table, intrigued by their conversation and asks them what they are talking about.
Trump explains to the man, We're going to invade Iran and kill 10 million Iranians and one bicycle repairman.
The man exclaims, Why would you kill a bicycle repairman!
Trump turns back to McConnell and tells him, See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Iranians!

Aliens arrive to earth, "Let's invade that area first, humans called it Poland"

"Why that area first?"

"It seems a habit around here..."

People don't want kids being taught about gay relationships as they think that'll turn their child gay. I learnt about WW2, it doesn't mean I want to invade Poland.

Yet.

Just the way America does it

If the United States saw what the United States is doing in the United States, the United States would invade the United States to liberate the United States from the tyranny of the United States

Increasing expectation among military analysts in recent days:

United States to invade United States to install democracy

If Russia and Germany would invade Poland again, who the Poles will shoot at first?

Germans. Business before pleasure.

Why is it a bad idea to invade Finland?

Because you'll be Finnished.

I heard Russia ordered 1,000 septic tanks from Belarus

Once they figure out how to drive them, they'll invade Moldova

Invade joke, I heard Russia ordered 1,000 septic tanks from Belarus

jokes about invade

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these invade jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.