The Best 51 Invade Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Invade jokes. There are some invade poland jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these invade nato puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Invade Jokes and Puns

A teenager went to United Nations for help...

The UN judge asks, "Want are you afraid of?"

He replies,"My face is so oily, I'm afraid the US would invade me."

Did you hear Poland bought 5,000 septic tanks?

As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they'll invade Germany.

If I were to invade Djibouti...

Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]

Invade joke, If I were to invade Djibouti...

How do you make a Swiss Roll?

Push him down a hill.

BONUS: How do you make French Wine?


I just finished a straight 8.5 hour binge of Dan Carlin's Wrath of the Khans podcast. I know one thing for sure:

You can't invade Russia in the winter. But Genghis certainly Khan.

Putin decides to invade Poland

Putin decides to invade Poland. But first, he wants to check the future situation in his country by visiting a fortuneteller.

Putin: Hello! I'd like to ask how much would a 0,7l bottle of vodka in Moscow 2016 cost.

Fortuneteller: Hmmm... it seems about twenty.

Putin: Rubles?!?

Fortuneteller: No, PLN.

I want to open a gay bar in Germany called Pole-Land.

You know they'll invade the place.

Invade joke, I want to open a gay bar in Germany called Pole-Land.

If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind...

Do you think Greece would help?

My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy

Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary.

My face is so oily

The US wants to invade it.

Why did Hitler invade Hungary?

Because he can't resist a HungAryan :)

You can explore invade armies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean invade fascists dad jokes. There are also invade puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why us it not good to have an oily face?

The US might invade it.

A joke from WWII

A German soldier is talking to a Swiss soldier:

"How many soldiers could Switzerland mobilize if we were to invade?"

"Half a million within two days."

"And if we invade with a million troops?"

"We shoot twice and go home."

Regarding Canada

If they ever invade the States, I move we rename them the US-Eh

I figured out how to invade Russia

You destroy all of the vodka then they'll be to sober to shoot straight.

You know Stalin tried to invade Scandinavia

But he just couldn't finnish

Invade joke, You know Stalin tried to invade Scandinavia

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome? [OC]

Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

President Obama is doubling down on fighting global warming

He's already sent three battalions of Marines to invade the Sun.

Why did Turkey cross the road

To invade Byzantium of course, the Turks were vicious when it came to invasion.

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

My skin is so oily

that I'm afraid that one day America may invade it!

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying

The girl I'm dating is half Polish and half German.

I asked her if she ever got the urge to invade herself.

When the Mexicans finally invade and take over Los Angeles, what will the city be renamed to?

El Eyyyy

What will the Sith call the earth when they invade and take command?

The Force Reich

What did Invader Zim say to the bottle of Sodium Hydroxide that had "Bleach" written on it?


If the U.S. ever discovered Time Travel

It would go back in time and invade itself for oil.

Why did the Mexican . . .

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

- For Hispanic attacks

Why did the Mexican Army invade the Alamo with only 5,000 troops?

- Because they only had two vans

Why did the Mexican train driver kill all his passengers?

- No one knows! He must have had a locomotive

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

- Tequila

What spell does America cast every time they invade a country in the Middle East?

Expecto Petroleum

My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".

Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".

Why did the Persians invade ancient Greece?

They were looking for weapons of math destruction.

I'll see myself out.

Why does russia want to invade Ukraine

Because they want to make it an Ourkraine.

What do you call it when rodents invade a beaver colony?


Canadians are always viewed as nice and polite but so help me, if they invade the US...

They'll be sorry.

So Turkey wants to invade Syria from the rear,

Do you think Greece will help?

What did Hitler say to the driver when he got lost trying to invade France?

"take the third Reich"

How did the Nazis invade Poland so easily?

They marched in backwards and said they were leaving.

Russia really want to invade Finland so they can rest

As they would cross the Finnish line.

Why did the United States invade Panama?

Just cause.

I can't believe that in 2019 viruses and bacteria can still just invade my body whenever they want

It makes me sick

I can't believe all these viruses and bacteria invade my body without permission

Makes me sick

The French wanted more territory...

So they got ready to invade Spain

As the army crossed the border they were immediately ambushed and lost the battle.


Because nobody expects the Spanish in-position

Why did Germany invade Hungary in WW2

They were jealous of the Hung-Aryans

When I successfully invade Canada and they offer me lands in a peace treaty...

I'll take Nunavut.

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone!


Trump and McConnell are in a restaurant

They are discussing their plans to invade Iran. A man walks by their table, intrigued by their conversation and asks them what they are talking about.

Trump explains to the man, We're going to invade Iran and kill 10 million Iranians and one bicycle repairman.

The man exclaims, Why would you kill a bicycle repairman!

Trump turns back to McConnell and tells him, See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Iranians!

Aliens arrive to earth, "Let's invade that area first, humans called it Poland"

"Why that area first?"

"It seems a habit around here..."

People don't want kids being taught about gay relationships as they think that'll turn their child gay. I learnt about WW2, it doesn't mean I want to invade Poland.


Just the way America does it

If the United States saw what the United States is doing in the United States, the United States would invade the United States to liberate the United States from the tyranny of the United States

Increasing expectation among military analysts in recent days:

United States to invade United States to install democracy

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the invade trespass jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working invade overrun piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes