The Best 54 Introduced Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Introduced jokes. There are some introduced introduce jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these introduced retiree puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Introduced Jokes and Puns

The local ice cream shop has introduced a new mixed fruit flavour of ice cream dedicated to the president of the United States

They call it the Im-peached orange.

They say it is good, perhaps the greatest in the history of mixed fruit ice creams.

My butcher introduced me to his wife the other day...

He brought her out and said,

"meet patty"

One of my buddies turned 90, so for a birthday surprise I sent a hooker to his apartment. When he opened the door, she introduced herself and informed him that she was there to give him super sex. His response...

I'll take the soup.

Introduced joke, One of my buddies turned 90, so for a birthday surprise I sent a hooker to his apartment. When he op

2 Irishmen, 2 Scotsmen, and 2 Englishmen

There were 2 Irishmen, 2 Scotsmen, and 2 Englishmen stuck on a deserted island. In one year, the two Irishmen made a still and was brewing beer, the two Scotsmen built a pub and were selling it. The two Englishmen still weren't talking to each other because they weren't properly introduced.

What's the difference between an orange and an erection?

... I don't have an orange.

My boyfriend's cousin introduced himself to me with this joke. Works best when whispered quietly into someone's ear at a noisy dinner party, FYI.


greeks

Thousands of years ago the Greeks invented sex, a few hundred years later, the French introduced it to women.

It's a real Challenger

When I was first introduced to the Kerbal Space Program, my spaceship kept blowing up. I looked at my friend and said "Wow, this game is a real Challenger!"

I am a bad person.

Introduced joke, It's a real Challenger

The first time I introduced a girlfriend to my grandpa.

"What's your name again?"

"Claudia."

"Oh *Claudia*. I'm sorry my dear, I won't forget it again. Claudia may I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you know the difference between sex and breakfast?"

"...Um, no.?"

"Would you like to have breakfast sometime?"

I got my priest to stop hitting on me.

I introduced him to my little brother.

My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents.

As if I've never met my own mum and dad before.

I introduced my girlfriend to my family today.

My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.

You can explore introduced claudia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean introduced told dad jokes. There are also introduced puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Discount Air Rides

Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'

While on vacation the desk clerk at the London hotel told me I'd only get the key to my room if I presented him with 250 pounds...

... so I introduced him to my wife.

Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car...

It's called the Volts Wagon.

The invention of sex

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"

I introduced my girlfriend to my family the other day.

My wife was so mad.

Introduced joke, I introduced my girlfriend to my family the other day.

I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...

It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.

I introduced my new boyfriend to my family last night

Everyone was totally fine with it except for my wife

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.

I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".

"Is that your real name?", she asked.

I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."


A hammer is introduced to the members of a new toolbox,

The Hammer sees his old friend and the Wrench giving the tour says:

You know the drill but do you know the screwdriver?

Long before the Turks invented condoms

The greeks invented sex.

And the italians thought it was so good, they introduced it to women

A guy I wrote into a joke asked me to tell him if I was ever introduced to his girlfriend.

I said sorry, I never meta.

So, I introduced my gf to my family today...

I still don't know why my wife hates her so much.

I hear they've introduced a new category to the grammies

The quietest album; and the award goes to:
Stephen Hawking... Unplugged

The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.

So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.

I had my first date in high school.

I'm happy home economics introduced me to such a delicious fruit.

The UK have just introduced a new law

Whenever you buy Mayonaise it's now compulsory that you buy Cabbage and Carrots with it. They're referring to it as Coles Law

My girlfriend told me she was really glad she finally met a nice guy, who was good in bed, with lots of money.

I should have never introduced her to my dad.

So i have this new coworker, her name is Andrea Morales. I went up to her today and said..

Hey Andrea, you didn't introduced yourself to me, but i figure out ur surname.. more or less..

My girlfriend introduced our new baby to my friends.

"Look at those chubby cheeks and bald head," they said.

I said, "Thanks, but we're here to talk about the baby."

Trophy Wife

My buddy introduced me to his trophy wife......

Apparently she didn't come in first place..

Cardi B's search on Spotify jumped by 750%

After Spotify introduced the 'Don't play this artist' option.

A Japanese man flew to Amerika to be with the girl of his dreams that he had met online.

He arrived at her parents house and rang the doorbell. When her father opened the door, the Japanese man bowed and introduced himself.

"My name is Hieto Sazukawaskawa and I am here to sleep with your daughter."

The fathers eyes grew wide and he asked in disbelieve.

"You are here to WHAT?"

"Sazukawaskawa"

What do you say when you're introduced to a vegan?

Nice to meat you.

The dollar sign ($) was introduced in 1788

It was a simpler time back then. Everyone had common cents

Greeks invented sex

And then Romans introduced women

My Native American friend from work invites me home to meet his wife.

When we arrived at his house his wife appeared in full traditional dress, she looked stunning. My friend introduced me and said * I'd like you to meet my wife, five horses. * I commented what a beautiful name that was and asked what the significance was?

* Quite simple * really he replied, * Nag nag nag nag nag... *

Putin just introduced Russia's new COVID-19 vaccine. The good news is that it's 100% effective.

The bad news is that it's Novichok.

I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. They were upset for no reason.

Especially my wife.

First Night in Prison

I was introduced to my cell mate and he said.......
You touch my stuff and I will kill you.......
I catch you staring at me and I will kill you.......
You touch me and I will kill you........
I thought to myself.......Great, just got here and I am
already married

An alien drops by the White House and exclaims: "take me to your leader". The alien is introduced to Donald Trump, who ushers it into the oval office to chat. 30 seconds later, the alien exits the room and walks back towards his ship.....

"Where are you going?! Our worlds have so much to discuss and learn from one another!" calls a Senator.
"You are right!" responds the alien.
"See you on Thursday!"

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!

Unless it's a repressed memory, I made this puppy up myself...

A woman walked into Dr Smith's office and introduced herself.

Hi, I'm Dr Yvette Tan, I've just become an accredited psychiatrist and would love to work as part of your medical practice .

Despite some misgivings, Dr Tan assured him she'd be needed eventually, and once he'd checked all her papers, he set her up in an empty office down the hall.

The next morning a man came in to see him and yelled out Doctor! I feel like I'm a dog!

Ah yes, the doctor replies, I think you'll need to see Yvette

Introduced my girlfriend to the family over the weekend, everyone was shocked...

Specially the wife .

An 60 guy introduced his friend to his new trophy wife

When they alone without the wife they asked him : "how did you got such a hot wife? "

He said: " i lied about my age"

"did you tell her that you are fifty?" asked one of his friends

"no i told her i am eighty" replied the man

I was out on the street, minding my own business...

when this guy Norman came up to me out of nowhere. I know his name because he immediately introduced himself without bothering to see if I was interested. I did not respond, yet he continued on, trying to strike up a conversation with me. I had things to do, so I pretended not to notice him.

Yet he still persisted. I know it's generally expected to be polite to people, but I guess I just prefer to ignore social Norms.

(Note: this is gentler than my joke about violating social Norms.)

So turns out my wife Is racist

So I met a beautiful black woman but when I introduced her to my wife all she said was "pack your shit and leave"

Got introduced to a doctor and I asked what field he was in. He said, Urology . I didn't know how to respond…

So I said, No shit?

I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family.

My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

I Introduced my 20 years younger gf to my family and everyone hated her...

Maybe my wifes birthdayparty was not the right time afterall

A guy took his small daughter with him to work one day...

After he introduced all the other employees to her she began to cry. He asked her what the matter was and she said, "You told Mom that you work with a bunch of clowns. Where are they?"

I was introduced to my cell mate and he said,

"You touch my stuff and I will kill you. I catch you staring at me and I will kill you. You touch me and I will kill you."

I thought to myself, "Just got here and I'm already married."

In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs…

American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the Escort in 1980.

*still working on this one

An Italian and a Greek are hanging out

An Italian and a Greek are having an argument. Each is trying to one up the other.

Greek: Greeks do everything better than Italians. Did you know that Hawaiian pizza was invented by a Greek.

Italian: Sex too was invented by Greeks, but it was Italians that introduced women to it!

After many years of fighting crime as batman

Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the introduced reunion jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working introduced desi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes