Intrigued Jokes

81 intrigued jokes and hilarious intrigued puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about intrigued that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Intrigued Short Jokes

Short intrigued jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The intrigued humour may include short fascinated jokes also.

  1. A psychologist asked his client what was troubling him. "Well, doc, I think I can see into the future."
    "Into the future?" the doctor said, intrigued. "When did this start?"
    "Next Monday."
  2. I saw a sign that said "Tempura House Shelter" so I was intrigued and went inside. I asked why it was named so. They said it was for lightly battered women.
  3. I'm not gonna lie, my girlfriend is a cow. But there's something intriguing about her... She moos in mysterious ways

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Intrigued One Liners

Which intrigued one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with intrigued? I can suggest the ones about curious and attracted.

  1. A chameleon came into a new environment. He thought to himself, 'Colour me intrigued'.
  2. What does an Incubus fan ask when intrigued by something? HOW DO YOU DO IT!?
  3. Title that will get you intrigued 3-20 lines of the story.
  4. Intriguing set-up Funny punchline

Intrigued joke, Intriguing set-up

Playful Intrigued Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about intrigued you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean impressed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make intrigued pranks.

Telepathic Watch

A brash young man strolls into a bar and takes a seat next to a stunningly attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, 'Your date running late?'
'No, no...', he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I
was just testing it.'
The woman, intrigued, asks: 'Wow! A state-of-the-art watch? So, what's special about it?'
'Well, it uses ultrasonic waves to telepathically talk to me,' he explains.
' what's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any p**......'
The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then because I am wearing p**...!'
The man explains, 'Damn thing must be an hour fast!'

How to Tell the s**... of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies," he responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?", she asked.
"Hunting Flies" he responded.
"Oh, Killing any?" she asked.
"Yup. 3 males. 2 females" He responded.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on the beer can, and 2 were on the phone"

Conveyor Belt

A man was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
He unloaded his items on the conveyor belt to check out, and the cashier said "You must be single."
The young man was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but he was intrigued by the check-out girl's intuition, since he was indeed single. He looked at his six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the cashier.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he said "Well, you
know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The cashier replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Probably my favorite joke ever.

Two guys are walking through the woods when they stumble upon an old abandoned mine shaft so deep that they can't see the bottom. Intrigued, one of them throws a rock into it to see how deep it is. After listening for quite a while, they never hear it hit the bottom. The other one grabs a bigger rock and hefts it down. They still don't hear it hit bottom. Now they are really curious how deep it is. After a minute of searching, one of them finds a huge railroad tie and signals for his buddy to come help. It takes a bit of work, but they wrestle it to the edge of the hole and push it over. Out of nowhere, a goat comes running right between them, jumping into the mineshaft!
Amazed at what just happened, they start walking away when a park ranger walks up and asks them if they have seen a goat anywhere.
"Yeah, one just ran right between us and jumped into that old mineshaft over there!"
"No, that couldn't be my goat," said the ranger, "mine was tied to a railroad tie."

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,

"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.
The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes."
A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!"

"Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

"No," I said.
She gave me a s**... little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.
"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," I said.
She gave me another s**... little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?"
"No," I said, intrigued.
"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."

Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

A pedestrian is walking past an insane asylum, and in the distance hears a bunch of the asylum inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Intrigued, the pedestrian peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and, suddenly, a finger pops out jabbing him right in the eye.
He screams in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

2 hearses.

One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Dave then asked who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." "Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line." replied the man.

A middle aged woman walks into a grocery store…

She has been single for the past 5 years and is extremely lonely. She proceeds to collect a few things here and there from throughout the store. Lip balm, a gallon of milk, a few rolls of paper towels, chicken p**... pies, and laundry detergent.
When she finishes finding all of her items she proceeded to the checkout counter. Immediately after she got in line a man came up behind her and began to wait as well. He had a 12 pack with him and was obviously drunk. He was staring at her groceries then up at her, swaying back and forth trying to keep balance.
You must be single? he asked her.
Normally she would ignore a stranger talking to her, especially one this drunk, but she was for some reason slightly intrigued. She noticed he kept looking at her groceries and up at her. Maybe he thought she was single based off what she was purchasing. Maybe he could point out something that would help her find someone to love.
Yes, I am single , she said. But can you tell me something? How can you tell I'm single? she said as she looked down at the few things in her basket.
cause….. he struggled to stand up and looked her in the eye. cause you're ugly.

A woman shopping at her local mart where....................

................................she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk
a carton of eggs
a quart of orange juice
a head of romaine lettuce
a 2 lb. can of coffee
a 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"

An 80 year old man and his 25 year old pregnant wife are in hospital.

The old man's young wife manages to give birth to a healthy baby. After the birth, the midwife goes up to the old man in private and says, "I know this is none of my business, but how can someone as old as you manage to have a baby with someone who is as young as your wife is?" The old man laughs and says "You've just got to keep the engine running, if you know what I mean!"
A year later, the same couple are back in the hospital to have another baby. The same midwife delivers the baby, and again, she asks the same question, even more intrigued. Again, the man gives the same answer: "You've just got to keep the engine running."
The very next year, the couple again are back in hospital to have yet another baby. This time, the midwife says to the old man, "This time, I want a proper answer: how could someone as old as you have a baby with someone so young?" The old man says, "I keep on telling you: you've just got to keep the engine running!" The midwife replies, "Well, looks like you've forgotten to oil your engine." "What do you mean?" asks the old man.
"Your baby is black."

Guy walks into a bar...

and sees a pirate with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. Intrigued, the man approaches and inquires "whats with the steering wheel?" to which the pirate responds, "Arrr, its drivin' me nuts!"

The intelligent dog

Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero's escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
Excuse me, she said, tapping Roxy's owner on the shoulder, that dog is extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it!
Yes, he's surprised me, too, said the owner. He hated the book.

Guy walks into a bar.

Guy walks into a bar.
The bar is empty except for a group of blonde women in the far corner chanting. "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks"
The guy asks the barman for a beer and also asks what's all that about in the corner.
Barman says "I have no idea. They've been meeting here every afternoon for the past 23 weeks. They sit silently leaning over the table and never say a word until today."
Intrigued, the man wanders over to the group of woman. They are now hugging each other and shaking each others hands and patting each other on the back. Still chanting "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks."
The asks them "what's all the celebrating about?"
One of the woman looks at him and says very proudly "everyone is always saying how blondes are so dumb. Well today we have just proven how intelligent we are."
The man says "well tell me, what have you done to prove blondes are intelligent?"
The woman says "well on the box of this jigsaw puzzle it says 3 years or up, and we just finished the whole puzzle in 23 weeks"

can someone explain this ancient Roman joke

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?' 'No, your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'

True Story

The Husband Store:
A new store that sells new husbands has opened in Toronto , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, however you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs...
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Like Children...
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Good Jobs, Love Children, and are Extremely Good Looking...
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Very Good Jobs, Love Children, are Extremely Good Looking and Help With Most Housework...
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Exceptional Jobs that pay them very well, they Love Children, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with all the Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak, and they are 100% Faithful.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 18,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Please Exit to the right to make room for more unreasonable shoppers.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. Similar instructions are posted at the entrance of this store as well.
The first floor has wives that love s**....
The second floor has wives that love s**... and have their own money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

A man walks into a bar

and at the end of the bar sits this huge jar filled to the brim with dollar bills. He goes to the bartender and asks "What's that Jar for?"
The bartender says "We have an on going contest where if you enter it you put a dollar in the jar and if you win you get the whole jar and its contents."
The guy is intrigued and asks what the contest is.
The bartender says "well first you need to drink a bottle of whisky and then go out back and drain the abscesses of two rottweillers. After that you need to go upstairs and have s**... with an 80 year old v**...."
The man says "That is easy." He puts a dollar in the jar and c**... a bottle of whisky. He then proceeds to go out back.
The inside of the bar then hears the dogs whining and whimpering for a few minutes until the man stumbles back in slurring "Now wheres the 80 year old with the abscesses?"

3 Wishes

A young couple are walking along the beach when the come across a man sitting atop a giant hill of money, surrounded by beautiful women fawning over him. Upon closer inspection they see that the man has a horrific looking giant melon shaped head.
The young man and his girlfriend are intrigued and approach the man and ask "Hey what's going on here?"
The man looks down at them and says, "I was walking along the beach and found a magic lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie came out and granted me three wishes." The couple look at each other and back at the man and ask "What were the wishes?" The man says "Well, first I asked for more wealth than I could ever spend" and he motions to the pile of money he's sitting atop. "Then, I wished to be surrounded by beautiful women who love me" he points at all the beautiful women surrounding him.
The couple look amazed. "And for your third wish?" The man looks at them and says "A GIANT MELON SHAPED HEAD."

Was wearing my Michigan shirt at the gym when an elderly man walked up to me...

A beautiful blonde woman visits the doctor for an annual checkup. The doctor looks her over from head to toe doing his routine tests on her. Standing there n**... still, the woman asks the doctor if she seems ok. The doctor looks at her and say, "Ma'am, you're perfectly healthy. The only thing I am concerned about is the giant "W" indented perfectly in the center of your chest."
The woman immediately responds, "Oh, my boyfriend is a college football player and he insists he wears his jersey during s**...."
The intrigued doctor asks, "Oh my, you're boyfriend plays for Wisconsin?!"
The blonde answers quickly, "No. Michigan."

An elderly man walked up to me today when I was wearing my Michigan sweatshirt. Without even saying hello, he started telling me...

A beautiful blonde woman visits the doctor for an annual checkup. The doctor looks her over from head to toe doing his routine tests on her. Standing there n**... still, the woman asks the doctor if she seems ok. The doctor looks at her and say, "Ma'am, you're perfectly healthy. The only thing I am concerned about is the giant "W" indented perfectly in the center of your chest."
The woman immediately responds, "Oh, my boyfriend is a college football player and he insists he wears his jersey during s**...."
The intrigued doctor asks, "Oh my, you're boyfriend plays for Wisconsin?!"
The blonde answers quickly, "No. Michigan."

A man goes to the dentist for a root canal

The dentist asked him if he wanted has or novocaine to numb it.
The man says "Neither. I've only said ouch twice in my life."
Intrigued, the dentist asks him about it.
"Well," days the man, "Once I was out hiking and nature called. So I stepped off the trail and squatted over a log to do my business and set my nuts square in the middle of a bear trap. That was the first time I ever said ouch."
"Sounds horrible," the dentist exclaimed. "When was the second time?"
"As soon as I reached the end of the chain."

A favorite joke of the Swiss (although any country combo will do)

A group of Austrians, embarrassed of the Swiss engineers, approach them with a request to build a bridge in the Sahara. "We want to build the most beautiful bridge, with perfect precision, workmanship, and quality to last a thousand years".
The Swiss Engineers, intrigued by the challenge, go to work. Six months later, they present the Austrians with their timeless bridge in all its glory!
"Hahaha, you dumb Swiss, there's no water in the Sahara, we made you build a useless bridge", teased the Austrians with great fervour. "Now tear it down"
Reply the Swiss engineers: "We would, but there's a group of Austrians fishing off it".

Wheel of Nostradamus

A man was at the fair when he heard a carnie shouting "Step right up and spin the Wheel of Nostradamus and win a prize!" Intrigued, the man approached and asked how much for one spin.
"Only five dollars per spin, sir."
Outraged, the man asked why it was so expensive. The carnie replied:
"I'm trying to turn a prophet here!"

Wild adventures

An old man keeps staring at a dude having streaks of blue, red, pink, yellow colored hair while waiting at a bus stop.
The intrigued dude asks "Hey oldie, haven't you done anything wild when you was young?"
To which the old man "Yea. I did a peacock back then, was wondering if you are my son"

A man is very worried about the future...

Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.
''Hold your hand out for me.''
The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''
''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''
(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)

A transgender walks into a bar

A man is sitting in his usual bar, enjoying a drink, when another man enters and takes a seat next to him. After a few uncertain glances, he realizes the man is actually a woman he used to know. He reintroduces himself, and they get to catching up. The man is quite intrigued with the concept of t**... procedures and they have a long, engaging conversation about how different life must now be for the transgender man. After nearly an hour, he bids his farewell, and leaves the cisgender man back to himself. At this point, the bartender mentions how nice it can be to run into old friends, and then asks if they had just disconnected or if he had been on a trip. The man replies, "something like that, he was a broad for a while"

If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...

A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."

Mind your own business...

Once I was walking down the road adjacent to a mental hospital. The hospital's compound had a tall fence separating it from the road. I could hear shouting coming from the other side, the patients were shouting, "13! 13! 13!" On and on and on.
I was intrigued. And then I saw a tiny hole in the fence. Even though it felt s**..., I decided to put my eye there and look inside.
And as soon as I did, some idiot poked my in the eye with a stick!
All the patients started shouting, "14! 14! 14!"
And that's how I learned to mind my own business.

A guy goes into a bar...

He sits and ask for 2 beers. After he finished them, he take something in his pocket, look at it, put it back and ask for 2 more beers. After he finished them, he did the same process and ask for 2 more beers.
After he did it 4 more times, the bartender intrigued ask the guy what's in his pocket.
- Ohh its just a picture of my wive! When i'm drunk enough to find her attractive I know it's time to go home.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a bar...

...and each take a seat and order a beer. When the Englishman gets his beer, he sees a fly floating in it, and politely asks for a different brew. The Scotsman, intrigued by this, looks into his beer and also notices a fly in it. He shrugs and picks it out. When the Irishman's beer arrives, also containing one fly, he's had enough. He picks up the fly, holds it very close to his mouth, and says...
"Spit it out, lad, spit it all out!"

h**..., Mussolini and Stalin are all sitting in a restaurant discussing their plans for World War 3.

A waitress approaches the table and listens to their talk. h**... opens by saying:
"Okay guys, I've got a great idea. I already talked to Stalin about it, but I figure I should get your input. He didn't believe me."
Mussolini responds "believe you about what?"
"Okay this time, the plan is to kill ten million jews and one mexican."
The waitress at this point is intrigued and confused, decides to chime in. "One Mexican? Why do you want to kill the mexican?"
h**... turns to Stalin and says "HA! I told you nobody would care about the jews!

Old Jewish joke.

A group of Ukrainian villagers are trying to get a cow to mate with a bull.
Try as they might, the cow refused to mate with any bull at all.
The villagers take the cow to the rabbi to ask for help.
The Rabbi inspects the cow then asks the villagers, "is the cow from Kiev?"
"Yes..." replied the villagers.
"Aha," exclaimed the Rabbi "that's why she won't mate with the bull."
"How do you know this?" asked the villagers, intrigued.
"My wife's from Kiev." replied the Rabbi.

Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter...

"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

A boy goes to the circus

and one of the sideshows is a tent that says "Man Who Remembers Everything." Intrigued, the boy goes inside and sees an old Native American man sitting on the ground. He approaches the man and asks, "If you remember everything, what did you have for breakfast exactly three weeks ago?"
Without hesitation, the man responds, "Eggs." The boy is sufficiently impressed and leaves to enjoy the rest of the circus.
Many years later, the boy has grown up, gotten married, and had children. One day he takes his family to the circus and is shocked to see the Man Who Remembers Everything is still there. He brings his family into the tent, and there is the same old man sitting on the ground.
Excited to see the old man again, he walks up and greets him, "How!"
The old man looks into his eyes and replies, "Scrambled."

A blonde boards a plane to Miami...

A blonde boards a plane to Miami and takes a seat in first class even though she has an economy ticket. A flight attendant tells her several times to move to economy class, but the blonde doesn't listen. Exasperated, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit. Seconds later the pilot steps out and whispers something in the blonde's ear. Immediately, she gets up from her seat and goes to economy class. Intrigued, the flight attendant asks the pilot how he managed to convince her to relinquish her seat.
"Easy" says the pilot, "I told her first class doesn't go to Miami"

An Artist, an Architect, and an Engineer...

...are discussing whether it is better to have a wife or a mistress.
The architect says, "A wife, of course. A good marriage is the foundation of a happy life."
The artist says, "No, a mistress. She will add intrigue and excitement to your life."
They turn to the engineer to ask his opinion. The engineer says, "I have both. The wife thinks I'm with the mistress. The mistress thinks I'm with the wife. And I can go down to the plant and get some work done."

Shazza walks into the kitchen and finds Bruce with a fly swatter.

"Waddaya doin?" She asked. 
"Huntin Flies" He responded. 
"Oh. Kill any?" She asked. 
"Yep, 3 blokes, 2 sheilas," he replied. 
Intrigued, she asked. "How'd ya know that?" 
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

A boy was b**... groceries at a supermarket.

One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.
Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.
Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."

I was intrigued by finding out all these students were having s**... with their teachers, so I decided to join the club.

It didn't occur to me until 3 weeks after I had s**... with my teacher that I'm home schooled.....

Three blondes are taking a walk through the woods

Suddenly, the blondes come across a set of tracks. They were intrigued.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think these might be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No way, these have to be deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
"Wait a minute.... These are—"
And then they were all hit by a train.

An Economist went to a l**... shop

to buy a bra for his wife. While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.
The smart Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra?"
Of course, our Economist was intrigued and he asked, "What are they?"
Salesgirl : "Sir, capitalistic suppresses the masses, socialistic uplifts the downtrodden and democratic makes mountains out of molehills."

I was watching a french man make a cake...

I admired his enthusiasm. He grabbed the flour, added it to the bowl, and started adding the wet ingredients. Intrigued about his recipe, I asked "hey man, how many eggs did you use for your cake?"
The French man replied, "un oeuf."

My wife asked what I was up to in the kitchen with the fly swatter.,

I said, killing flies
she replies, killed any?
Yes , I said, 3 males & 2 females
Intrigued she asks, how do you know the s**...?
Well, easy, 3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone

I went on a vacation to Taiwan...

I asked around for tourist attractions
A peculiar man came up to me, inquiring about some \*discount\* s**... shop
When in Taiwan, am I right? Needless to say I was intrigued.
He said to me, "go down to da beach,
aska bout da tongue twister packege
my friend will make you happy"
So I went to the beach, as the man had suggested. I asked about the tongue twister package. I was not disappointed. If you're ever in Taiwan, make sure to visit that guy at the beach.
He sells shemales at the seashore.


I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.
The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me!
Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree.
She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead.
Credit to u/Princess_Kookie

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks.

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. Intrigued, they go to investigate.
The first one says: I'm pretty sure those are bear tracks.
The second one says: No, I'm pretty sure they're wolf tracks.
The third one thinks for a while, then says Actually-
They were all hit by a passing train.

A crazy guy was taking the bus

There was this crazy guy that took the bus every data and always bought two tickets.
The bus driver intrigued one day decided to ask "why do you always buy two tickets" and the crazy guy says " well its simple I put one ticket in my left pocket and one in my right that way if i lose one I still have the other " and the driver asks " and what if you lose both tickets?" And he goes " oh don't worry i have a bus pass "

Fly Swatter

A woman arrives in the kitchen and sees her husband with a fly swatter and says "What are you doing?"
He replies: "I'm chasing the flies..."
She asks "Did you kill them?"
He says "As a matter of fact, yes, 3 males and 2 females
Intrigued, she asks him: "How do you make the difference between females and males?"
He answers: "3 were on the beer can, 2 on the phone."

I had a chance to meet with a man who had been on fire.

I just had to know what the experience had been like for him. Intrigued, I asked him about the feeling of being in an inferno.

It was a burning question of mine.

Influencers' life

A twenty-something walks into a shop with a parrot on her shoulder, and begins recording herself in the floral, with fabrics mugging with product.
The shopkeeper is intrigued, and asks her where did you get that?
The parrot says Instagram! There's millions of them there!

What do horses eat?

Hay of course.
What do gay horses eat?
What do mad horses eat?
*Disclaimer-I'm fairly certain I made the last line up, but have heard the previous two all through my childhood. It's much better told in person, especially if you really yell that last line. People think they already know the joke, the extra sentence gets them intrigued, then they're paying attention and super startled when you yell the final "hay".

A single lady goes to the convenience store a buys : 12 eggs, 1L of milk and a can of fried beans.

When she's about the pay, the clerk looks at her and guesses :
\- "You must be single, right?"
The lady, visibly amused and intrigued, asks back how could he pick that up.
The clerk replies :
\-"Because you are ugly as f\*c**...."

An ancient "your mom" joke, from Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD .

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'
"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"

A Canadian visits a small church while on holiday in Scotland.

The Canadian is intrigued by the intricately carved pulpit and, being something of a history buff, would like to know more about it so approaches the little old vicar.
"Excuse me sir, would you be so kind as to tell me what the pulpit is made of?"
"Aye. Wood."
"You would?"
"Nay yew, is oak."
"Oak? Eh?"
"Glad to have helped."

A waiter was serving someone when they dropped a spoon...

So the waiter pulled a spoon out of his top pocket. The man questioned why the waiter had a spoon in his pocket and started eating his dessert. The waiter replied we did a study and it showed that 70% of customers drop spoons so it saves us time having one with us. The customer looked intrigued and asked the waiter why is there a piece of string hanging out of your fly. The waiter replied when we go to the toilet it saves us from washing our hands as we can hold our bits with the string . Then the man asked and how do you put it back in . The waiter replied with a spoon of course.

Suppandi goes to the bus stop...

He asks a stranger, Sir, Which bus will take me to Durganagar?
Just take bus number 96 , the stranger replied hurriedly as he ran to catch his bus.
In the evening, the stranger gets down at the same bus stop and notices Suppandi is still there. Intrigued, he asks, Did you not take the bus?
Suppandi replies, So far 90 buses have gone. Only 5 more to go before my bus arrives

Trump and McConnell are in a restaurant

They are discussing their plans to invade Iran. A man walks by their table, intrigued by their conversation and asks them what they are talking about.
Trump explains to the man, We're going to invade Iran and kill 10 million Iranians and one bicycle repairman.
The man exclaims, Why would you kill a bicycle repairman!
Trump turns back to McConnell and tells him, See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Iranians!

Three nuns are talking.

The first nun says, you would never believe what i discovered.
Intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun.
oh that's nothing." said the second one, "i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one.
" what did u do with them?" said the first nun.
The second nun responds with pride ," I poked **holes** in all of them."
The third nun screams, oh s**......"

A man brings his kid with him to his office for take your kid to work day

The kid is intrigued, looking around at all the cubicles, seemingly looking for something

sfter about thirty minutes the kid begins breaking down and crying and running around, looking all over, the man comes over to comfort his kid, and asks him what's wrong

daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?!?

Two ex-cons talk to each other. The younger one says: "I was in for drugs. What did you do?"

The older man answers: "I was jailed for something I didn't do."
The young guy, intrigued, asks: "What was that? Did they set you up?"
The older shrugs: "Nah, I just didn't run fast enough."

The Russian president is on a visit to the USA.

So he is taken on a tour of various tech companies to show him their superiority.
"This," says Bob, "is the smartest computer in the world. Ask it any question, and it will answer you correctly."
The Russian president is intrigued. So he decides to trick the computer and asks: "Who will be the superpower 100 years from today?"
The computer goes silent for a minute, then prints out a paper which the Russian president takes.
"So?" asks Bob. "What does it say?"
"I have no idea," replied the Russian president. "It is written in Chinese"

43 days!

A group of blondes walks into a bar with a picture of Elmo. They set the picture on a table and order several bottles of champagne. As the waiter returns with their champagne, the blondes are chanting, " " Intrigued, the waiter asks them what is going on. One of the blondes explains, "The box said 3 to 5 years, but we put together this Elmo puzzle in just 43 days,."

A man walked up to the most beautiful woman in the supermarket and asked, "You know, I have lost my wife here in the supermarket?" "Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman is intrigued and asks him, "Why?"
The man replies, "Because every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere".

A n**... man was walking down the street with a woman on his back

A bloke on the other side of the road asked, "Where are you going?"
The n**... man replied, "To a fancy dress party."
"What as?" asked the bemused gentleman.
"A tortoise", said the n**... man.
"Well, who is the woman on your back?" said the intrigued gentleman.
"Oh, that's Michelle."
EDIT - I changed the first "gentleman" to "bloke." I hope it makes more sense that way.

God and the devil chat about music

The god and the devil were chating, as they usually do when the concept of music came up.
With a bit of intrigue God asked the devil how he'd managed to get into every genre of music, from rock & rap to hip hop & metal ect .
The devil chuckled no no no , music is too special, too human for me to infect. it requires a soul to create music .
The devil leans back, now the music-industry, that's some of my finer work

Two old ladies smoking

Two old ladies are outside smoking cigarettes when it starts to rain. One pulls out a c**..., cuts off the tip, slides it over her cigarette and keeps smoking.
The other old lady is surprised and asks about it. The first one explains that it's just a c**.... She buys them at the pharmacy and uses them to keep her cigarettes dry when it rains.
The second old lady is intrigued by the idea and the next day she heads to the pharmacy. She goes up to the counter and asks for a pack of condoms.
The pharmacist asks what size she needs and she says, Just whatever will fit a camel.

A 'your mom' joke, from around year zero, ancient Rome:

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.
"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'
"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"
(I recently found my purpose in life and now I need to learn all about comedy, I thought I should start with history, this joke was unearthed by a group of historians from the UK, thought I'd share it here).

Hot dog

(Half of this joke is translated from another language so i don't know if it's as good as the original when told in English)
Two foreigners come to United States for the first time.
They have very little knowledge about U.S. culture,
So they stop at a fast food place.
One sees hot dog on the menu and is shocked.
He tells his friend " look they eat dogs in U.S."
Intrigued he says he will try it
When his order arrives, he turns to his friend and says:
With my luck guess which part of the dog i got.

What is the Roman Empire?

In the heart of the bustling Roman Empire, there was a philosopher known for his wisdom, humor, and the ability to make light of the most complex issues. One day, a curious citizen confronted him, asking "What exactly is the Roman Empire?"
The philosopher paused for a moment before saying, "Imagine a man trying to wrestle a lion. The man is strong and well-prepared, but he is, after all, merely a man. The lion is wild, ferocious, and barely within his control. Yet, the man does not back down; he dives headfirst into the tangle, figuring out how to tackle it as he goes along. That, my friend, is the Roman Empire."
The citizen blinked and asked, "So, we're the man in this scenario, right? Struggling against the fierce lion that is the vast world?"
"No, not exactly," chuckled the philosopher. "You see, the man is the Roman Empire, always seeking to overcome, control, and rule, even when the odds seem overwhelming. The lion, rather, represents the infinite sea of cultures, lands, and people that the Empire constantly tangles with."
"But what if the lion eventually wins?" queried the citizen, now intrigued.
"Well," the philosopher answered with a mischievous glint in his eye, "Then the joke's on us, isn't it?"
The gathered crowd erupted into laughter, appreciating the wit and wisdom tied into the punchline. After all, understanding the Roman Empire didn't just involve historical facts and figures; sometimes, it was just about appreciating the irony!

Intrigued joke, What is the Roman Empire?

jokes about intrigued