Comedy Intoxication Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
A drunk is thrown in jail for public intoxication ...
... The next day he's brought into court and the judge says, "My good man, you've been brought here for drinking." He says, "Alright, judge, let's get started."
Two drunks are looking to get laid
After a hard night drinking so they make their way to a nearby brothel. The madam, noticing the extent of their intoxication, puts them up in two attic rooms with a couple of blow up dolls. When they meet again afterwards, one says to the other " I think my woman was dead beause she just did not move and was stone cold." The other one said " I think mine was a witch... as soon as I bit her nipple, shelets out a big fart and flies out of the window"
A man was arrested for public intoxication at the wine store
A man was arrested for public intoxication at the wine store.
At court he explains to the Judge that it was a case of a simple misunderstanding.
Judge: I don't see how this can be a misunderstanding. You were arrested for drinking straight out of the wine bottle at the register!
Man: I can explain that. I was exhausted that day after working 11 hours at the warehouse. I was zoning out and in hindsight, I should have known what the cashier meant when she said I could "start loading up now"...
in the U.S there are 50 states, and in Ireland, they only have one state
Intoxication
There is always a need for intoxication: China has opium, Islam has hashish, the West has woman.
How long does a carbon monoxide intoxication last?
Longer than you think.
