Intolerant Jokes

Funniest Intolerant Short Jokes

Short intolerant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The intolerant humour may include short insensitive jokes also.

1. I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me. She was lack-toes intolerant.
2. I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can't take it, but he can dish it out.
3. My daughter painted her toenails black for winter formal tonight... I told her "I hope you don't run into anyone who's black-toes intolerant."
4. My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe Apparently she's lactose intolerant.
5. Why did dad divorce mom after hiking Mt. Everest? Mom got frostbite, and had toes amputated.
   Dad's lack-toes-intolerant.
6. The level of pollution in the world today is becoming intolerable. Only the other day I opened a can of sardines to find it was full of oil and all the fish were dead.
7. My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
8. Lost three toes in a wood-chopping accident and my girlfriend dumped me Said she's lack-toes intolerant
9. I had to break up with my girlfriend after I ran over her feet with a lawnmower... I'm lactose intolerant.
10. I started dating a guy, but then I found out he lost all of his toes in a freak work accident Unfortunately, I'm lack toes intolerant.
    (This joke inspired by an 8 year old)

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Intolerant One Liners

Which intolerant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with intolerant? I can suggest the ones about tolerance and resistant.

1. I dislike people who are missing toes… You could say I'm lack-toes-intolerant!
2. What do you call someone allergic to galaxies? Galactose intolerant.
3. Why did the dyslexic refuse to wear a polo shirt? Because he was Lacoste intolerant.
4. Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way? He was galactose intolerant.
5. What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant!? Non buy dairy.
6. I sure hope Pennywise isn't lactose intolerant... He seems to eat a lot of Derry
7. When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant
8. They say life is like a box of chocolates... And I'm lactose intolerant.
9. I can't wear preppy clothes... I'm Lacoste Intolerant.
10. I had a sip of the Milky Way galaxy. It turns out I'm galactose intolerant.
11. What do you call a person who gets mad when they don't have bread? Lack toast intolerant
12. I'm glad my wife is lactose intolerant. We don't have to pose for pictures.
13. What do you call a lactose intolerant music artist? Post Provolone
14. What do you have if you're intolerant to cheese? You have allercheese.
15. What do you call someone who can't eat burnt toast? Black toast intolerant.

Lactose Intolerant Jokes

Here is a list of funny lactose intolerant jokes and even better lactose intolerant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the lactose intolerant guy say after having a glass of milk? Please excuse my dairy air
• I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant. We broke up because she couldn't stomach my cheesy jokes.
• What do lactose intolerant people call a collection of meat and cheese? A shart tootery board
• Pickup line : hello, are you lactose intolerant? Just wanted to make sure, my pickup line is very chessy. .
  I used that once...she laughed...her husband laughed i walked away...true story btw
• I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite. I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant.
• I need to get a valentine's card for my lactose intolerant wife But they're all too cheesy
• I'm not doing anything cheesy for my girlfriend on valentines day... She's lactose intolerant.
• Spray Cheese When you're lactose intolerant all cheese is spray cheese
• What do they call the side effects of lactose intolerance in France? Smelly derriere (dairy air)
• I like my women like I like my milk That's the end of the joke, I'm lactose intolerant.

Dairy Intolerant Jokes

Here is a list of funny dairy intolerant jokes and even better dairy intolerant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The Outsiders: Why is Ponyboy lactose intolerant? He hates Dairy but likes Sodapop.
• Here in Wisconsin, we're known as the Dairy State Or for the lactose intolerant among us, the Diarrhea State
• Did you hear about the gay guy who was lactose intolerant? They call him the Non Dairy Queen
• A random stranger laughed at how I was lactose intolerant How dairy
• Everyone keeps talking about racial intolerance. It's time we address lactose intolerance. can't believe this is still a problem in 2018. Justice for dairy products
• I was gonna crack a joke about dairy products But everyone around here is laughtose intolerant
• I can't condone the consumption of dairy. I was raised lactose intolerant.
• Why do dairy farmers raise cows, but not cow snakes? They are "lack-toes" intolerant
• What do you call a lactose-intolerant camel? ....A dromedary with dairy drama
• What's the best way to announce that you're lactose-intolerant I'm allergic to
  Wait for it
  Dairy

Gluten Intolerant Jokes

Here is a list of funny gluten intolerant jokes and even better gluten intolerant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Vegan who is also gluten intolerant walks up to you. What is the first thing they say to you? "I crossfit"
• What do you call a gluten intolerant duck? Coeliquack
• What phrase freaks out a gluten intolerant Soviet the most? Gluten Tag.
• When I was a kid I was diagnosed as gluten intolerant. When I misbehaved my mom would make me eat a bunch of white bread. A gluten for punishment kind of thing.

Hilarious Intolerant Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about intolerant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stubborn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make intolerant pranks.