Intimidating Jokes
27 intimidating jokes and hilarious intimidating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about intimidating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Intimidating Short Jokes
Short intimidating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The intimidating humour may include short frightening jokes also.
- How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb? Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness
- When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left. I don't want to intimidate her with the competition right away
- The large Chinese army would be a lot more intimidating.... ....if their weapons weren't made in China.
(I really didn't know whether this belonged here or in shower thoughts) - Today I learned how to read Braille. It might look intimidating at first, but once you get a feel for it it's pretty easy.
- A man goes to prison and decides to intimidate his cell mate... 'So, you wanna know why they call me mitochondria?'
- What do people who bite their fingers say to intimidate people? I'm not scared of you, I eat nails for breakfast every day!
- A group of youths are smoking outside my house. It's a bit intimidating. Perhaps I'll call the police. Or just move my cardboard box to somewhere else.
- I hate people that try to be intimidating over the Internet If you don't agree with me I'll stab you
- These guys at the pub said my wife looked like Cruella de Vil. So I walked over to them and said, "How dare you compare that skinny, intimidating witch with Cruella de Vil."
- If someone ever intimidates you just remember that they're 70% water. *Are you afraid of water...?* Well you should be 300,000 people drown every year.
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Intimidating One Liners
Which intimidating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with intimidating? I can suggest the ones about threatening and impressive.
- My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers So I just stared at him until he apologized.
- How to stop being intimidated by dates Just think of them as big raisins.
- My boss says I intimidate my coworkers I just stared at him until he said he was sorry.
- What do you call an intimidating sheep? Baahdass
- Why is 6 afraid of 7? (In a deep, intimidating voice)
Because 7 is bigger - Working with a hammer can be intimidating. They nail it every time.
- Geraldine went on a blind date with a really creepy guy It was intimiDating
- My inflatable basketball player might look intimidating, but... He's a big softy.
- I'm scared of Santa Claus I'm intimidated by his presents.
- In a democracy one's voice is intimated. When you require 'id' it's intimidated.
- What was the scary guy on Tinder doing? Intimidating others.
- What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach? Cheez It!
- The act of questioning can be intimidating. Isn't it?
- If a magnifying glass ever got into a fight.... ...It would be easily intimidated.
Amusing Intimidating Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about intimidating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inspiring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make intimidating pranks.
Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.
Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.
They send a few truckloads of wheat with the note: "That's how many of us are coming!"
A few days later the trucks return full of flour with the note: "And this is how they will be sent back to you"
A man named Adam is being sent to prison
On the first day in the shower he is approached by a giant muscular inmate who asks him intimidatingly
"With or without spit?!"
The man (Adam) thinks to himself that it will happen no matter what and that it might hurt less with spit so he frighteningly stammers
"With spit"
To which the giant shouts to another inmate.
"Hey come on over Spit, this dude wants a t**...!"
A kid walks into a grocery store
Looks at the cashier with intimidating eyes "Give me this food free of charge or I'll do what my father did"
Fearful for his apparent resolve the cashier lets him leave uncharged.
2nd day the kid back says the same thing, the cashier feels obliged to answer his request.
This goes on for a week and then the cashier asks "What did your father do?"
The kid replies "He went to sleep hungry"