Intimacy Jokes
3 intimacy jokes and hilarious intimacy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about intimacy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Share Hilarious Intimacy Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What is a good intimacy joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Hotel bill
Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can't believe the size of the bill. "Why so much?"
Manager: "It's not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room..."
Jack: "But I didn't use any of those!"
Manager: "Maybe, but you could have!"
Jack takes a pen and a seat, adjusts the bill and presents it to the Manager.
Jack: "I've deducted 3 nights of intimacy with my wife".
Manager, spluttering: "I never had relations with your wife!"
Says Jack: "Maybe, but you could have!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It should be fair
A lawyer argued in court...
If physical intimacy with a wife requires her consent and without consent it is termed as r**..., then shopping without the husband's consent should be charged in court as robbery.
After 30 years of marriage...
After 30 years of marriage a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on she went: Neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, and entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
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