Interviewer Jokes

Following is our collection of oprah puns and reporter one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Interviewer jokes for adults, dirty presenter jokes and clean npr dad gags for kids.

The Best Interviewer Puns

I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, Do you have a criminal record?

I said, No. Is that still required?

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

me: "yeah, but it was fast"

Interviewer - Okay, describe yourself in 3 words

Lazy

Interviewer: How do you explain the five-year gap on your resume?

Me: Oh, that was when I went to Yale.

Interviwer: Amazing! You're hired.

Me: Yay, I got a yob!

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could


During a job interview yestarday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer, I simply replied "No I always give 110%"

I looked her square in the eyes and said, "Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right?"

"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.

At the interview for my new job I was asked

"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"

"I don't have any!" Was my reply.

The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."

Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."

Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?"

Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament

Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?

Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.

Interviewer: and what about the rest?

Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..

Interviewer: What's your biggest strength?

Me: I'm a fast learner.
Interviewer: What's 11 * 11?
Me: 65.
Interviewer: Not even close. It's 121.
Me: It's 121.


Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.

"So son, where did you receive your education?"

The man replied "Yale".

The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"

The man replied "Yack Yackson".

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Me: "I'd say my biggest weakness is listening"

At the job interview

Interviewer: I see here that you had a five-year gap between jobs. Can you please explain it?

Me: Oh that's when I went to Yale.

Interviewer: That is very impressive. You can start tomorrow.

Me: Yay, I got a yob.

Me: Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right?

Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.

Another interview joke

During a job interview, the interviewer asks, I noticed a 6 year gap in your resume. How do you account for this period of time?

The applicant responds, I went to Yale.

Excited, the interviewer says, Yale?!? You're hired!

The applicant replies, Yay! I got a yob!

Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself.

Me: I'd rather not... I kinda want this job.


Interviewer: "How do you explain the three year gap on your resume?"

Dave : "Oh! That was when I went to Yale!"

Interviewer: "Amazing! You're hired!"

Dave: "Hurray! I got a yob!"

I had a job interview...

...the interviewer slid his laptop across the table and said "sell this to me."

I closed the screen, unplugged it, and left.

I ignored his calls for about three hours. When I did answer, he said "Where is my laptop?!"

"You wanna buy it?"

James Bond is laid off

James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant

"Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"

"No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "

Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"

"It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."

Interviewer: It says here you're skilled at saying unexpected things?

Me: Yes, I am.
Interviewer: Hmm, I thought you were going to say something unexpec-- oh, you're good.

I went for a job interview at EA Games today.

The interviewer said to me, The second part of your resume is missing.


I said, For the second part, you have to pay $20.

A lumberjack applies for a job...

...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?"

The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest."

The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"

Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it now."

The job interviewer asked...

The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"

Me: "I don't know when to quit..."

Interviewer: "You're hired!"

Me: "I quit."

At a job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes, yes I could.

Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer

I replied, "No, I always give 110%"

The interviewer asked me to show him an example of leadership skills.

"OK," I replied. "I'm hired."

So I had an interview last year

The interviewer: You answers should be quick
Me: Ok
Interviewer: what is 1490/52?
Me:quick

"What is your biggest weakness?" asked the interviewer.

I said, "Spiders."

He said, "Professional ones?"

I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before."

Interviewer: Please explain this 4 year gap in your resume

Me: That was the time I was in Yale

Interviewer: Very impressive, we'd like to offer you the position

Me: Thanks, I really need this yob!

A lumberjack applies for a job and gets called for an interview. The interviewer asks him, So, what experience do you have? The lumberjack replies, Well, I used to work in the Sahara Forest.

The interviewer is a little taken aback and asks, The Sahara Forest? Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?

The lumberjack says, Yeah, that's what they call it now.

I went to a job interview at EA

The interviewer, after reading my CV, said:

"I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"

"Page two is 19.99$"

Man is at a job interview

Interviewer: Well, to start out in the beginning, you will be at a $30,000 salary, but later that number could go up to $50,000 or even $60,000.

Man: Ok, I'll come back later then.

Job interview

Job interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?

Me: That's when i went to yale.

Interviewer: That's impressive. Your hired

Me: Thanks i really needed this yob.

interviewer: it says here you went to Harvard University.

Me: yeah, I was visiting my sister.

Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.

Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"

Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"

Four kids walk into an interview...

Four kids walk into an interview. One is American, one is British, one is African, and one is Chinese. The interviewer asks them all the same question: "In your own opinion, what do you think of the scarcity of food in other countries?" The British kid asks "What is scarcity?" The American kid asks "What are other countries?" The African kid asks "What is food?" And the Chinese kid asks "What is my own opinion?"

Interviewer to Pelรจ: Do you think Barzil's 1970 team can beat today's Argentina?

Pelรจ: Yes.
Interviewer: By how much?
Pelรจ: 1:0
Interviewer: That's it?
Pelรจ: Well, most of us are over 75 now...

A man in a job interview.

Interviewer: "This job requires you to know Powerpoint, how skilled are you with the program"

Man: "Well, I Excel in Powerpoint"

Interviewer: "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?"

Man: "Word."

Interviewer: Do you have any question about the job that you are applying for?

Applicant: How much is the salary?

Interviewer: Initially $40,000. Later it could go up to $80,000

Applicant: I will start later then.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener.

Interviewer asked me why I'd make a good waiter?

Me: You could say I...bring a lot to the table.

A man walks in for an interview

Interviewer: forget everything you learned in college. You won't be needing any of that here.

Man: good that I didn't go to college then.

Interviewer: sorry we can't hire you.

My interviewer kept getting annoyed at me...

...when I kept responding to each question with the same question - only in a really sarcastic way.

Apparently, I don't know what a "mock interview" means.

I was applying for citizenship in Australia, and the interviewer asked, "Do you have a criminal background".

I replied, "No, is that still a requirement".

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

me: "yeah, but it was fast"

Interview Gone Wild

A man was interviewing for a job.

Interviewer: What's your biggest weakness?

Man: Honesty

Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness

Man: I really don't care what you think

Interviewer: So what makes you think you'd be a good waiter here?

Octopus: I just really feel like I could bring a lot to the table.

Interviewer: What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

During an interview, the interviewer told me to describe myself using 3 adjectives. My response was...

"Lazy."

The interviewer asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

The job candidate responded, " I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

Use it while you can, people!

Job Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I guess my biggest weakness is I am not always a good listener

A man goes in for a job application...

...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"

Interviewer: and what do you see yourself doing 5 years down the road Mr. Jones?

Mr. Jones: Personally, I believe my biggest weakness is listening.

At the job interview...

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

Blonde interviews to be a policeman

A blonde goes to an interview to be a police officer. The interview goes well until the interviewer asks some general knowledge questions. She does ok on the first few, until she is asked, " who shot Abraham Lincoln?"

She tells the interviewer she doesn't know, and he tells her to go home and work on the answer. Her mom calls her later and asks how the interview went.

She tells her mom, "great, they already have me working on a case"

Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?

Me: That's when I went to Yale...

Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this yob.

A Winking Salesman!

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

"Looking at your resume, I can see that you're more than qualified", says the interviewer. "Unfortunately, we can't have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can't hire you", adds the interviewer.

"But wait", says the man. "If I take two aspirin, I stop winking".

"Then show me", replies the interviewer.

So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colours before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.

"It's great. You stopped winking", says the interviewer, "but we can't have our salesmen womanizing all over the country".

"What do you mean?", asks the man. "I'm happily married".

"How do you explain all the condoms?" asks the interviewer.

"Oh, that", sighs the man. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

Interviewer asked me to name my most positive quality

Turns out HIV won't get you a job

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!

Farmer: Because the black one's mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: It's also mine.

At an ISIS recruitment centre...

Interviewer: Name?

Recruit: Saaed Bin Hasrat.

Interviewer: Sex?

Recruit: Often twice a day.

Interviewer: No, no. Male or female?

Recruit: Male, female, sometimes camel, mostly sheep.

Me: "How is it we assume that dinosaurs just roared... They could have talked like us, right?"

Interviewer: "I meant questions about the job..."

An engineer, a lawyer and an accountant are at a job interview

The interviewer asked, what's 1 + 1.

The engineer draws up a plan and does some measurements and says. It appears that 1 + 1 is 2 .

The lawyer takes out his law book, checks all the rules then says according to the law, 1 + 1 is 2 .

The accountant takes out his book and calculator. Does a few calculations then whispers to the interviewer, What do you want the number to be?

I had a job interview the other day and the interviewer says to me 'How would you usually describe yourself at work?'

I said 'With words, but today I'm going to use interpretive dance'

In my interview for the binman job, I asked if you needed any special training...

The interviewer said "nah you just sort of pick it up as you go along".

Job Interview

A games programmer is at a job interview at Electronic Arts.

As the interview comes to an end, the interviewer glances down at the programmer's rรฉsumรฉ and sees "please turn over" written at the bottom.

He turns the rรฉsumรฉ over, but finds that the other side is blank.

The interviewer asks, "Where's the rest of your rรฉsumรฉ?"

The programmer replies, "Oh, that's downloadable content; it costs an extra ten dollars!"

At a job interview, I sat down at at the table and in front of me was a pitcher of water and an empty cup. I poured too much and the cup started to overflow.

"Nervous?" The interviewer asked me.
"No," I responded, "I always give 110%"

When interviewer asks you what you make at your current job

Apparently they don't expect you to say stupid mistakes and inappropriate comments.

Yet another job Interview joke

Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?

Candidate: I never know when to quit.

Interviewer: Well that can always be turned to our advantage! Congratulations, you're hired.

Candidate: *I quit*

so I walked in an interview and..

.. and interviewer asks for my email password :

interviewer : What is the password of your email ?
me : it's way123
interviewer : is it 'way' or 'weigh' ?
me : The one that starts with 'f'
interviewer : There is no 'f' in way.
me : exactly.

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..

Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I'd say i work well under pressure

Interviewer: Name one of your accomplishments

Applicant:Well I discovered aliens, outside my house and managed to learn their language.
Interviewer:That seems rather complicated...
Applicant:Well Spanish isn't hard to learn sir.

Interviewer : What's your biggest strength?

Me : I'm good at Machine Learning

Interviewer : Okay, what's 21+17

Me : It's 5

Interviewer : Not even close. It's 38

Me : It's 20

Interviewer : I said it's 38

Me : It's 35

Interviewer : It's still 38....

Me : It's 38

Interviewer : Hired!

There is an abundance of announcer jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 76 funniest jokes and interviewer puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any interrogator witze you can hear about interviewer.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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