Interstate Jokes
38 interstate jokes and hilarious interstate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about interstate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Interstate Short Jokes
Short interstate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The interstate humour may include short highway jokes also.
- I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore... They were real nice. Car started right up, and they even helped me with directions back to the interstate.
- A Scrabble game got dumped all over the interstate highway. That's the word on the street at least.
- One time I was alone and got lost in downtown Chicago, and got jumped by four black guys. They were real nice, car started right up, and they even gave me directions back to the interstate.
- If my life is like a highway, I sure hope it's like an interstate Lots of opportunities to get off
- Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Begging These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.
- Did you hear about all the smartphones that got stolen from a semi stalled on the interstate? It was Huawei robbery.
- Me: According to Waze, someone got decapitated on the interstate Wife: What? Seriously?
Me: Yeah, apparently police reported ahead - I asked a friend if he wanted to go with me to count 18 wheelers on the interstate, He seemed semi-interested.
- An 18-wheeler spilled a load of strawberry preserves on the interstate today It was a real traffic jam
- I saw Kurt Cobain's hitchhiking along the interstate... ...I told him he could ride shotgun in my car.
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Interstate One Liners
Which interstate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with interstate? I can suggest the ones about motorway and transit.
- Interstate 85 is the worst collapse Atlanta's had... ...since losing the Super Bowl
- Why don't mathematicians drive on the interstate? Because the I means it's imaginary.
- My highway just became and interstate I think it's a good time to tell him he's adopted.
- What did the s**... interstate say to the porche? I got curbs!
Interstate Highway Jokes
Here is a list of funny interstate highway jokes and even better interstate highway puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- fast roads gettin it on... fast? what is it called when a Highway, an Interstate and an Expressway get it on?
A three way
Laughter Interstate Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about interstate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean federal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make interstate pranks.
Police pulls over a car driving 15 mph in a 70 mph speed zone
It was an older woman driving. He asks her why she was driving slow.
She says - "I saw a sign that said I-15, so I thought the speed limit was 15 mph"
Officer - "That is the sign for the Interstate 15. The speed limit is 70 mph on this road"
Then he notices 3 other older ladies in the back seat whose faces were white as a sheet.
He asks the driver whats wrong.
Her - "Oh, we just came off I-215"
A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"
Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"
Excuse for speeding
This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red BMW. So he decided to take his new BMW on a test drive down the interstate one day.
He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he saw this highway patrolman with his blue lights and siren blaring coming toward him. He decided he and his new BMW would outrun the officer. So the man sped up to 95 mph,and then to 105 mph, but the patrolman was still coming.
The man finally came to his senses and said to himself, "This is crazy, I could go to jail for this," so he pulled over.
The patrolman came to the car and told the man, "It has been a long day and I am tired. If you can give me an excuse no one else has ever given me I will let you go."
So the man told the officer, "Last night my wife ran off with a patrolman and when I seen you chasing me I thought you were trying to bring her back."
The officer looked at the man and said, "Have a nice day."
A cop pulls a car over for going 20 mph on the highway
The driver is a little old lady, and there are two old ladies in the back seat.
The cop asks, "Why were you driving just 20 miles per hour?"
The old lady responds, "I was just going the posted speed limit!" and points to a sign up ahead.
The cop smiles and says, "That's not the speed limit sign, that's the sign for this highway — Route 20!"
One of the old ladies in the back gasps out, "We tried to tell you, Eugenia!"
The cop takes another look at the old women in the back and sees that they are wide-eyed and disheveled. One of them is tightly gripping the door handle.
"What's the matter?" the cop asks.
She responds, "We just came off of Interstate 190.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Emergency flashers
Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their n**... bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!
A cop pulls over 3 old ladies
A cop pulls over 3 old ladies doing 20 in a 65mph zone. The cop walks up to the window.
"How can I help you officer?"
"Did you realize you were doing 20 in a 65mph zone?"
"I thought we were doing the speed limit. It says so right there." The old woman pointed to a sign.
"Ma'am thats the sign saying you're on interstate 20." Just then the officer noticed the two women in back looked extremely frightened. "What's wrong with them?"
"Oh we must have just come off interstate 200."
A blonde is driving on the interstate…
Her husband calls her and says... "Be careful darling, it's just been on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the interstate" "Someone?" she replies, "theres hundreds of em!"
A woman calls her husband while he's in his way home from work
She says honey, be careful! I just heard in the radio there's some idiot driving the wrong way on the interstate!
The husband responds, one?! There're dozens of em!
Speeding Ticket
A cop was waiting in a speed trap on the interstate when a guy in a sport car came racing by him at over a 100 mph. The cop immediately pulls out behind the speedster and turns on his lights. The guy pulls over and the cop walks over to the window. The cop looks at the guy smiling and says I've been waiting for someone like you all day. The guy responses well I came as fast as I could.
A woman sees the news, and anxiously calls her husband.
He picks it up,
Matthew, are you driving home from work?
Yes! At least I'm trying!
Well be careful out there. There's some idiot on the interstate going in the wrong direction.
Honey... everyone's going in the wrong direction!"
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it. Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle. When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed. Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
Boston's dead crows
On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the tree to watch for danger. They found out that the Boston crows could say caw caw but they couldn't say truck truck .
Did you hear about the Dole truck that crashed?
It was speeding down the interstate going 20 over the speed limit with a bunch of monkeys hanging off the side when suddenly it lost control and crashed, spilling the contents of it's trailer across all four lanes blocking traffic for hours.
It was bananas.
Why didn't Zeke get that job at the KFC off the interstate?
He thought they'd want to hear that back at the farm, he likes doin' chickens right also.
The pope and his driver
.....are in their car driving down the interstate and the pope says "you know, it's so boring being the pope, I haven't even driven a car for decades. Say, why don't you let me drive for a bit?" The driver agrees and sits at the back and off they go. The pope loves it and speeds up, until he's flying past other cars at 150mph. A cop soon pulls them over and walks up to the window and knocks. He walks back to his squad car and calls his chief.
"Hey chief, I've pulled this guy over and he's REALLY important! You have to come down."
Chief: who is it, the governor?
Cop: no, way higher!
Chief: come on son, who is it, the president?
Cop: I don't know it is, but his driver is the pope!!
10 ants were applying for a joint rental application...
...They meet with the rental agent and are discussing details of the property. One of the ants says "so this ant next to me is Dave, we met in university - great guy. Sarah, Jack and Bobby over there I met through work at the ant hill two trees over, we used to go out leaf hunting together - so much fun. Jackson over here I met at my Cousin's birthday where he got up on a table and started dancing. Amanda here came from interstate to stay wi...."
"ENOUGH!" shouts the rental agent. "What has any of this got to do with your rental application??"
"Oh" the ant replied "I was just giving you our ten ant history"
So these two pieces of Interstate highway are drinking at the bar...
So these two pieces of Interstate highway are drinking at the bar. The first says "I'm I-10, baby! Atlantic to Pacific! Long and Strong. All day, traffic, truckers and they're flying along at ninty miles per hour. Cuz I'm the Best!" The other piece of highway snorts. "You got nothin! I'm I-95. Always busy! Always full and Always bringing the business! Semis! Tandems! All of it! Bartender! More whiskey!"
As the bartender is refilling their glasses, a small piece of gravel and dirt trail walks in and sits at the end of the bar. "Excuse me, Bartender? Could I get a cranberry juice?"
The first piece of interstate starts to pick on the little fellow. "Hah! Cranberry juice!?" But the other piece of highway stops him. "Hey, don't mess with that one man." "Why not?" Asks the other.
"Cuz he's a cyclepath."
A married couple is driving...
down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him. "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce." The husband says nothing, but slowly turns up to speed to 60 mph.
"I don't want you to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."
70 mph.
"I want the house as well."
75 mph.
"I want the kids."
80 mph.
"And I want the bank account and all the credit cards."
85 mph.
"You're taking this incredibly calmly," she said. "Isn't there anything you want?"
"I've got all I need."
"What's that?"
"The airbag."
