The Best 24 Intersection Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Intersection jokes. There are some intersection speeder jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these intersection stoplight puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Intersection Jokes and Puns

Driving home from the bar, one of the boy's was showing off his new self-driving car.

"Look" he said proudly as the car stopped automatically at an intersection.

From the back seat, one of the drunks wakes up to say: "One way or another, don't all cars stop on their own?"

If two tanker trucks collide at an intersection, ones scarring water, the other is carrying vinegar, what sound do they make?

DOUCHE!!!!!

Paddy in New York


Paddy was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop at a busy intersection. The cop stopped the flow of all traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' When everyone had safely crossed the street, he would allow traffic to resume.

The officer had done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across ?'

Intersection joke, Paddy in New York

How does a blond cross the road?

A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store.

The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?"

The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"

Hope it's not a repost, heard this on the radio today...

Cheech and Chong are partying down in Tijuana, when they spot a dog up the road a ways.

Looking closer, they see the dog is frolicking about in the intersection, having a great time licking himself.

Cheech exclaims, "Man! I wish I could do that!"

Chong replies, "well... maybe you should try to pet him first, man."


Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

After extensive marketing research the Colonel concluded that the franchise would benefit from better traffic patterns on the other side of the intersection.

(from my grandmother's Reader's Digest circa 1988)

A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident...

A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident at an intersection. They get out of their cars and find that neither is hurt, which is surprising because it was a horrible accident. The cars are a mangled mess.

The priest says to the rabbi, "Thank the lord that we are both uninjured! That was *terrifying.* I still can't stop shaking. I was so frightened!"

The rabbi says, "Friend, I feel the same way. I saw my life flash before my eyes, but those airbags saved us. Look, I had this bottle of Manischevits wine on the seat next to me and it didn't even break! Here, let's have a drink to calm our nerves. " as he hands the bottle to the priest

"Yes, and also to celebrate still being alive!" the priest says as he takes a long drink from the bottle.

He hands the bottle back to the rabbi who, instead of drinking, closes the bottle and puts it in his pocket.

"Aren't you going to have a drink?" the priest asks

"Not until after the cops get here. "

Intersection joke, A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident...

Two turtles collide in an intersection.

When the police come, they look around to see if there are any witnesses, they only see a snail on the sidewalk. The police approach the snail and ask him if he could tell them what he saw. To which the snail replied, "well, it happened so fast..."

A man drives through a stop sign..

A cop pulls him over and asks for his information.

"Sir, you just drove through that intersection without stopping."

"Aww come on, it's not a big deal..I slowed down!"

The officer steps back, looking down at his feet, all of a sudden he pulls out his night stick and starts beating the man.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!" The man screams.

"Would you like me to slow down, or stop?"

My city has been putting in tons of toll booths. Yesterday I had to pay ten cents before they'd let me pass through an intersection!

At least I was able to turn on a dime.

One dolphin cut another dolphin off at the intersection of Coral Reef and Caribbean Current...

The other dolphin said, "Hey, you did that on porpoise!"

You can explore intersection avenue reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean intersection pedestrian dad jokes. There are also intersection puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two turtles had a collision at an intersection. .

The only witness was a snail. When interviewed by police the snail explained he didnt see anything as it all happened so fast.

The GOP gets kidnapped

The kidnappers demand the ransom of 500M USD or they will douse them in gas and light them on fire.

So there were people in the streets collecting donations, and they asked me at an intersection

"You must have heard the news recently. Could you spare a little to help us out in this initiative?"

"How much is everyone giving on average?"

"About a gallon, give or take"

Did you hear about the driver who collided with a mythical creature at a traffic intersection?

He turned into a werewolf.

Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland.

When they see a sign at an intersection.

"Disneyland left" ←

so they went back home.

Two blondes were in a car heading to Disneyland

They saw an intersection

It said:
Disneyland left ⬅️

So they started crying and went home.

Intersection joke, Two blondes were in a car heading to Disneyland

What's the difference between a red traffic light and a green traffic light?

Please answer quickly, I'm almost at the intersection.

How to go through intersection in a tank

1) Approach intersection

2) Check if there is another tank coming

3) Proceed

A small traffic accident occurs at a busy intersection in Hong Kong.

l guess two Wongs don't make a right


I got a new car that tells jokes, but I wrecked it

We were crossing this intersection, and the car said, "Stop me if you've heard this one."

I always feel 100% confidence in the walk signal at an intersection

Because when the White Guy is on your side, you're gonna be ok

I saw a man at an intersection holding a sign saying Homeless VET, anything helps.

So I stopped to ask him how he ended up on the street, he said I got caught sleeping with my patients.

A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland.

She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.

If blonde indicating left turn before intersection it does not mean she will turn right.

She most likely will go stright.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the intersection lane jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working intersection highway piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes