internet Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious internet stories

What are the best Internet puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Internet? Well here is a complete list of Internet dad jokes:

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

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What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?

I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.

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What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

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Sincerely,

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The Internet Provider

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What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.

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Poker is like sex

If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand

Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner

Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)

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Just an Internet Explorer joke

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The internet is an amazing thing.

One minute I'm at work looking up
random pages, passing the time, the
next minute I'm at home looking for a new job.

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Wireless Internet is like Sex

You still want it, even if it's unprotected and in a public place.

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Happy Thanksgiving Guys!

I hope Internet Explorer sends this in time.

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How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

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I almost got fired for watching internet porn at work.

Instead I got fired for masturbating.

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The people on the internet are so friendly....

One guy called me bro, and he even said my story was cool.

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My New Girlfriend

Facebook asks what I'm thinking.

Twitter asks what I'm doing.

Google asks where I am.

The internet has turned into my girlfriend.

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blond joke

A blonde went into an internet cafe to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money, but I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).

"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door" the man said. She did.

He then said "Now get on your knees."

She did.

"Now take down my zipper."

She did.

"Now go ahead ... Take it out....." He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands. Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered .."Well ... Go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, .... tentatively said .... "Hello. Mum, can you hear me?"

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I often wonder what my parents did to fill their time before the internet was invented...

...I've asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don't know either...

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How I comfort people who cry about grammar Nazis on the Internet.

There, their, they're.

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Kim Kardashians ass did not break the internet

It just left a big CRACK in it...

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Has Kim Kardashian Broken The Internet?

I'm not sure if Kim Kardashian has actually managed to 'break the internet', but she's certainly put a big crack in it!

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A ship is sinking in the middle of Atlantic...

A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.

The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:

-- Rabbi, what can be done?!

-- Do you still have the internet connection?

-- Yes!

-- Sell the ship!

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My internet addiction is so bad...

Its alt of ctrl.

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What's the worst part about looking at internet porn?

When the librarian tells you to leave.

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So here I am in the Internet Cafe...

... with the angriest, ugliest bastard I've ever seen reading every word I ty

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The wife asked me what I was doing on the internet last night.

I told her I was looking for flights. "I love you!" she said and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing sex ever... which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before.

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When I was your age...

When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what? We were thankful.

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Policing the internet.

Complaining to the police about something you've read on the internet is like suing a premium rate sex line for sexual harassment.

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For you internet nerds!

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.... I would tell you a TCP joke but I don't want to keep repeating it.

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Tech Support

USER: I can't get on the Internet.

SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?

USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?

USER: Five dots.

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How do trees get on the internet?

They log in.

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I can almost guarantee this has been posted before but I enjoyed it ...

So I'm sitting here in an internet cafe, with the biggest, ugliest and angriest bastard I've ever seen standing right behind me reading every word I ty

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An Internet Explorer joke...

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Did you know that if you were to print out every single page on the internet, and stack them all, one on top of the other...

... environmentalists would go fucking nuts.

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3 kids are discussing how they were made

One says, "The stork brought me!"
The second one says, "I was downloaded from the internet!"
The third one hangs his head down in shame and says, "Well, my family is poor, and my parents makes everything themselves."

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What do internet pirates have on their legs?

j.pegs

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I hear the Star Wars universe is so advanced, you can get Chinese food directly over the internet...

They use an e-wok.

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My internet is so slow...

Loading...

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So I'm chatting to this 14 year old on the Internet..

She is funny, flirty, sexy and intelligent and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop, how cool is that at her age!

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I took a job aptitude test and it didn't make for pleasant reading

I've no people or practical skills and am unable to use logic or reasoning.

It recommended that I become an internet moderator.

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People sometimes ask how I knew I had met the love of my life through the internet

I said "I'm not sure, we just clicked."

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A older woman decides to look for love

So she decides to use a dating service on the internet. In her requirements she listed the following three things:

1) Must not be abusive
2) Must be loyal
3) Must have a long penis

The woman began getting responses and was not happy with any of them. Nothing but sleazy men responded. She was ready to give up until she heard the doorbell ring, she answered the door and there was a man on the doormat, with no arms and no legs. The woman was getting ready to slam the door in his face but decided to ask why would you think you are the right man for me.

The man said, you see I have no arms so I will not hit you, and I have no legs so I will never leave you. The woman said what about my third requirement?

Well how do you think I rang the doorbell

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Be careful people,there are a lot of scams on the internet

For Β£19.99 I can show you how to avoid them

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Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

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What do you call someone who blocks people on the internet?

The Chinese Government

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Well, that's enough internet for the year.

see ya guys in a few days

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Disappointment

a woman, after a long search on the internet, found out that "PHILLIPS 14 INCH" was actually a T.V

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The Legend of Zelda Joke

Do you know why Ganon can't use the internet?

There's too many Links.

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My friend asked me what I thought about internet message boards.

I said, I'm all forum.

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How does potato powered internet work?

Simple. It's a series of tubers.

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What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin.

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally?

Thorrenting.

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How do trees access the internet?

They log on

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So if he didn't invent the internet...

then why does everything in it run on "Al Gore rhythms"?

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best internet jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about internet. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty internet gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these internet jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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