internet Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious internet puns

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

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What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?

I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.

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What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

​

Sincerely,

​

The Internet Provider

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What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.

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Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

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What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

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I won't control what you do on the internet

but Theresa May

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!"

Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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Half of men in America watch porn everyday.

The other half are waiting for Comcast to fix their internet connection.

*Thanks for the gold kind stranger.

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What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, Comcast.

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TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."

Now we wait.

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What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear customer,

We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

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If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet

I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.

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Poker is like sex

If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand

Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner

Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)

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I hope your internet is kinky

Because it's about to get choked

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What did grandma and grandpa do before there was Internet?

I mean, didn't they get bored?

I asked my 32 uncles and aunts, but they didn't know either.

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What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Customer,



Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.

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I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing

I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either

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They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

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I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet

Whoops, E-Daisies

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If you give a monkey a typewriter, it will eventually write Shakespeare...

...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.

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Yo momma, she so fat...

there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

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The internet is an amazing thing.

One minute I'm at work looking up
random pages, passing the time, the
next minute I'm at home looking for a new job.

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I read that 30% of the internet is pornography and that really makes me disappointed in humanity...

...70% of the internet is being completely wasted.

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Today I was offered sex by a 21 year old girl.

In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on the internet. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available scented with lemon or vanilla.

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For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs.

Or without porn, on 54 DVDs.

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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...

Is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

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Why are there so many grammar Nazis on the internet?

Because English majors have no jobs.

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The internet is amazing

One minute you're at work looking at random webpages; the next, you're at home looking for a new job

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The internet is so full of people making up fake stories for fake internet points that no one is giving any credit to the real heroes anymore...

Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano

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I was wondering what my parents did without the internet

and none of my 7 siblings could tell me

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"Name a famous explorer that has been forgotten", asked my son

"Internet explorer.", I replied.

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I wonder...

I always wondered what my parents did to pass time before things like the internet and TVs were invented.
I asked my 26 siblings for advice.

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Accidentally sent someone flowers over the internet

Whoops e-daisies

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What are the most funny Internet jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Internet? Well, here are the best Internet dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Internet pick up lines to share with friends.

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